Confrontation happened every time Nathan came for the weekend, but Nathan wasn’t usually drunk. It made him bolder.
“Jealousy?” He scoffed, wobbling to his feet. “At least I’m not a simpering fool in love with a girl who hooked up with me the first chance she got.”
My overheated skin drained of its warmth, even in the North Carolina June weather. I blinked, hoping this was a nightmare.
But no, when my eyes opened, Nathan watched me, not the least bit chagrined for revealing the secret both of us had silently promised to keep.
It had been a huge mistake. I thought he kept quiet as a favor to me, but maybe he’d only been biding his time, waiting to drop it at the moment of maximum impact.
Tears stung my eyes. I bit the inside of my cheek, desperately trying to keep them at bay. Derek’s arm dropped away from my shoulder as he backed away from me, the center of the blast radius.
“You’re welcome,” Nathan mumbled, patting my shoulder as he passed. “Now you don’t have to do it yourself.”
White hot hatred burned in my chest. He thought he did me afavorby telling my boyfriend about the night I cheated? The guilt from which still made it difficult to breathe. I chased Nathan, catching him easily beside the bleacher steps. I shoved him, not hard, but he stumbled from his inebriation before steadying himself with one of the bleacher slats.
“What is your problem?” I shouted, stepping toward him. “How can you notcare—”
“Don’t pretend to understand how I feel,” Nathan snapped, pushing off the bleacher. “Talk to me whenyourfamily falls apart, when your best friend lies to you, when yourgirlfriend—” He stopped abruptly and turned away from me. “Leave me alone, Brenna. You’ve done enough.”
“Me?” I roared, ignoring stares from people around us. “I’m not the one who ignores an innocent baby sister.I’mnot making a scene at graduation. Do you have any idea what you just did to Derek?”
Nathan laughed hollowly. “You’re the one who led him on, Quinn. Own it.”
He started to stumble away from me without apologizing. I shouldn’t have been surprised after our interactions this year, but some naive part of me hoped that somewhere deep down, he still loved me and it would win out over his hurt and anger. I clutched a hand to my chest, at the incessant pain, the physical manifestation of the realization our friendship would never recover.
“I fucking hate you, you miserable jerk!” I screamed at his retreating form. “I will never forgive you for what you’ve done. For how you’ve treated Molly.”
He didn’t even pause, only held one hand over his head in a wave goodbye. “Don’t worry, Bren. You’ll never have to see me again.”
The words filled me with relief and dread in equal measure.
43
BRENNA
Now
Nathan brought the pizzato the screened-in porch, pleasantly warm thanks to a space heater in the corner.
“Wanna come in?” I lifted one end of the blanket draped over me.
Nathan didn’t hesitate, then held up a finger. “But we’re talking, Bren, so don’t get any ideas.”
“I’ll do my best,” I answered with a laugh, then tilted my head to the side. “Maybe you should have that conversation with yourself.”
As Nathan settled beneath the blanket, pressing into my side with his warmth and strength, I thought about how I’d like toughconversations more if they all happened with him, skin to skin. A reminder that he cared. I could take tough truths if they came with a promise he wouldn’t leave.
He handed me a paper plate with one slice of pizza. I inhaled deeply, savoring the cheesy aroma and the steam warming my cheeks. “When did you even have time to order this?”
“When I went downstairs to make hot chocolate.”
I shook my head. “You’re the best.”
“I never get tired of hearing you say anything good about me. Every time, it erases a bit more of the words you shouted at me after graduation.”
I paused, returning my pizza to my plate. “Nathan—”
“I deserved it, Bren. Every word. It’s a miracle you can stand to be with me after everything I did to you.” Nathan’s fingers tipped my chin to him. “I made you cry for months when I left.” He swallowed, his fingertips moving to stroke my cheek. “And then I came back, and I was, as you so eloquently pointed out, amiserable jerk.”
