“It’s small, so we can trap the heat in. And it’s naturally warmer than your room.”
Brenna looked at her feet and murmured, “I’d rather be in my room.”
She wanted to hide from me and the emotions our conversation had unearthed. If the electricity hadn’t gone out, I had no doubt she would’ve bolted. But I would have followedher… maybe not right away, but eventually. It was time to break this pattern.
“The cats will follow you, Bren. They’re smaller than us—”
She narrowed her eyes. “Are you actually concerned about the cats or is this a ploy?”
Can’t it be both?I wanted to say, but the words halted on my tongue at her stern expression. “It might be days before we can turn the heat back on,” I said instead.
I would walk miles in the snow to the nearest gas station before I let her suffer in the cold.
She put up a hand. “Fine, fine. I get it.”
Maybe using the cats to convince her was a low blow, but I’d do anything to protect her.
We also couldn’t repair our relationship if we were on opposite sides of the house.
28
BRENNA
Now
Nathan and I wordlesslyclimbed the stairs to my room, gathered a cache of blankets, and took them to his.
I didn’t want to be in the same room with him after our argument. I’d rather hide and try to forget the words we’d hurled at each other. He had no right to cast himself as a hero for giving me reasons to hate him. Implying he suffered more than I did. Acting like he’d done me a favor.
There was no way I could sleep beside him, even for warmth. I’d rather shiver for days than put myself in that agonizing situation.
But then I watched the cats jump onto Nathan’s bed without an ounce of the apprehension brewing in my belly. The rest of the house would soon feel like ice, including my room. I wouldn’t let them suffer because of my sensitivity.
I slipped under the covers, settling on my side of the bed and pulling up an e-book on my phone. Maybe not the smartest thing to do when the electricity was out, but I couldn’t read an actual book without lying on my back, which would put Nathan distractingly into my periphery. It was bad enough his bed offered no reprieve from him, especially with four cats there with us.
At least I wouldn’t be cold.
His footsteps echoed moments before he slid into bed beside me. I refused to stir, to turn, to look at him. This bed, this man… memories overwhelmed me.
“I don’t know how you sleep like this.” Nathan tossed some blankets, pushing more fabric onto me. I didn’t mind one bit. “I feel like I’m suffocating in cotton.”
“No one is making you stay.”
He sighed and I detected pain in it. My heart squeezed. I hated hurting Nathan, but I’d learned that setting boundaries was critical to protect myself. Lying beside him would dredge up a well of emotions that would slowly drown me. Maybe I could get him to leave.
But I couldn’t forget his words.You were in love with someone else. You were happy with someone else. I wasdyinginside, having to watch it.
Once again, his pain was mine. Every time he brought around a girl, a hand would reach through my chest and tear off another piece of my heart.
“Brenna. I don’t want to fight with you.”
His breath hit the back of my neck, and I suppressed a shiver.
The exhaustion due to running from my past, from him, from every ugly feeling I still harbored threatened to undo me. We’d both run from our problems for years.
“Convenient.” I placed my phone on the nightstand, and rolled over to face him, even though I risked losing my train of thought by looking into those turquoise eyes. “You said everything you needed to say.”
“Not even close, Bren.”
