The room remained unchanged after he left. It wasn’t healthy for me to sleep in his bed, but when I felt abandoned and alone, being in his room gave me comfort. So I slipped under his Palmer City Owls comforter and let out a small sigh of relief.
Quiet.
My eyes closed, and sleep took me.
My eyes fluttered open to find Nathan leaning over the bed, his hand on my cheek. I jerked away from his touch, startled by his sudden presence.
After eight months without my best friend, without the boy I loved, I thought I was dreaming him.
“Nathan, what are you doing here?” My voice was clouded by sleep. Even through the haze, relief at seeing him zipped through me.
He straightened to his full height, swaying on his feet. “This ismybed. What areyoudoing here?”
“I couldn’t sleep with the crying and the yelling… and you don’t live here anymore.”
“So you thought you could break into my room and sleep in my bed?”
“It wasn’t like you were using it.” I greedily took him in, desperate to memorize the way dark strands of longer hair fell on his forehead, the way his cotton shirt clung to his toned abdomen, the shadow of dark stubble lining his jaw. “Why are you here, Nathan?”
He let out a humorless laugh, sinking onto the bed beside me. “They didn’t tell you?” He pushed a strand of hair behind my ear, his cold fingers brushing my skin. The move surprised me, so reminiscent of when we were dating. A bite of alcohol tinged my nose with him this close.
Well, that explained it.
“The custody agreement is finally in place,” Nathan went on. “I have to come back to this hellhole twice a month.”
His fingers trailed down my face, and my body trembled. He broke my heart, but I still craved him.
“I should go.” I needed time alone to process his return.
I’d cried myself to sleep every night for a month, wishing he’d come back. But this wasn’t the boy who left. I didn’t want the reminder that he’d changed.
My legs slipped out from under the covers, and my feet landed on the floor.
“Please stay,” he begged, his anguished voice stabbing me straight in the heart. It hurt as much as the incredible sensation of Nathan’s hand on my arm, holding me in place. I wanted to close my eyes, to sink into this fantasy, Nathan’s hands on me, him saying a version of the words I’d dreamed too many times to count.
But he didn’t mean it.
“You’re drunk, Nathan.”
He tugged me closer.
I didn’t resist. Couldn’t resist, not with the way his touch ignited my skin. He positioned me between his legs, his hands moving to my hips.
My heart pounded so loud, I heard it in my ears. It beat like this only for him.
But this isn’t right.I shouldn’t be here. Heshouldn’t be touching me like this.
“Nathan, we’re not together anymore.” My breathy voice poked holes in the resolve of the statement, already shaky at best.
“Just… pretend, Bren.” The moonlight slanted into the room, illuminating his turquoise eyes, intense and locked on me. His fingers kneaded my hips.
I remained frozen to the spot, admiring him, marveling that we were this close again. That he was begging me to stay.
“Just tonight. I miss you. Please.”
He pulled me into his lap, my legs bracketing his hips.
“This isn’t…” I closed my eyes as Nathan dropped featherlight kisses along the column of my neck. I tried again. “Nathan, we shouldn’t…”
