A tear slipped from my eye and slid down my cheek. I reached to wipe it away, but Nathan beat me to it. His fingers lingered on my jaw after drying the tear.
My stomach bottomed out when I met his gaze, already on me.
“I’m sorry,” I rushed to say.
Nathan immediately dropped his hand from my face, the reminder of our circumstances breaking whatever spell he was under.
“I’m so sorry, Nathan. If I could go back—”
“But you can’t.” He shifted his legs over the table, then stood.
I looked up at him, his face all hard lines, his expression shuttered. “Will you ever forgive me?”
“I don’t know.” Barely a whisper, but I heard pain in his tone all the same.
I stared at the floor, unable to take the sight of the face I’d never kiss again.
“Thank you for the wrap.”
He left, and I fell to my knees as my swallowed-down sob finally escaped.
19
NATHAN
Now
A strip of lightstreamed into the hallway from the cracked-open office door.
I reached through the door for the light switch, inadvertently nudging it open wide enough forherto come into view. I stopped, mesmerized by Brenna’s hips swaying to the song playing through her earbuds. Gray cotton shorts barely covered her ass, leaving her toned legs on full display. Bren always had great legs, thanks to all the squats she did to get into her catcher’s position. Her caramel blond hair, secured in two braids, fell over her shoulders as she rolled paint on the wall.
I swallowed, fighting two opposing instincts. Brenna’s back was to me, so she’d have no idea I saw her if I left now. I also couldn’t pry my eyes off her. During this past month, we spent plenty of time together but nothing so unguarded as this. I snuck glances when I could, and too many times to count, Brenna’s gaze snagged on my own. She watched me too.
And there was always that second when Iforgot. That Brenna and I weren’t here by choice. That there was a long list of reasons why we weren’t in each other’s lives. That she was engaged to another man. That second of only her and me broke my heart every damn time. I wished I could live in that second, go back in time and do things differently.
What right did I have to tell her about my feelings? She’d moved on, found someone who loved her. Revisiting our past would resurface a lot of hurt, and I didn’t want to cause her any more pain. Brenna had chosen someone to spend her life with. Confessing my feelings would be selfish, and it would shatter whatever peace we’d managed to establish between us.
I couldn’t do that to her.
Brenna’s earsplitting scream jolted me from my inner conundrum.
She dropped her paintbrush to the floor, splattering cream paint. Thankfully, we’d covered the carpet before we started painting the room. She clutched her chest, and yep… she wasn’t wearing a bra.Fucking hell. My gaze darted away from the nipples visible through her thin pink tank top.
“Nathan,” Brenna panted. She pulled her earbuds out, resting them on one of the steps of the ladder. “What. The. Hell?”
I stepped into the room. “I didn’t know you were in here. I thought we left the light on…”
Brenna used a stray cloth to wipe paint from her legs. “What are you doing up?”
“What are you doingpainting? It’s three a.m.”
She tossed the cloth aside, then shrugged. “I couldn’t sleep. What’s your excuse?”
“I needed water.” I lifted my bottle. “Haven’t you heard of watching TV or reading a book? Or are you just so desperate to finish, you decided to work around the clock?”
Her eyes flickered with an emotion I couldn’t name. “It hasn’t been so bad,” she admitted, picking up the paint roller again. “When you’re not being grumpy or scaring me half to death.”
I snatched another roller off the floor and strolled over to her. “So you mean 3 percent of the time?”
