I wondered if this trait made me similar to my father… not that I’d ever find out who he was. Kathy claimed their relationship was volatile, and she didn’t feel safe bringing him into my life. Even if it weren’t true, the fact that he never tried to find me was enough to forget his existence.
“Of course. Why wouldn’t I?” I dropped to my knees and faced Molly, my back to my mother. “How about you go grab a snack? I’ll meet you in the kitchen in a minute.”
Molly nodded and moved around our mother without a glance. It broke my heart to see how she’d already learned to cope in Kathy Quinn’s world. Mom scoffed as Molly wordlessly passed her but kept her attention on me.
“He wouldn’t like it if he knew who you are going to see,” she said.
“Jack’s not worried, because he hasnothingto worry about.”
Well, not nothing. He’d worryifhe knew the history between me and the two men I’d see in Middlebury. Or at least, it would worry him if our relationship continued, something I wasn’t sure he wanted at this point. We’d seen each other a couple of times in the three months since I left Chicago. Between his job as a pilot and the two jobs I’d taken to keep this family afloat, we hadn’t had much time for each other. I thought I’d miss him more—Ishouldhavemissed him more—but part of me was relieved to have one less demand on my shoulders.
I couldn’t continue a relationship my heart was no longer in, even if I didn’t want to feel his pain.
My mom clucked her tongue. “You always loved that boy too much.”
I didn’t need her to clarify which boy—now man—she meant. My heart had been broken exactly once in my life. Eight years ago, when my mom’s mistakes cleaved my relationship with Nathan Sharpe in two. My heart was like a broken vase glued back together—whole with visible but sealed cracks.
“You gave him the power to destroy you once.” Disapproval dripped from her tone, the one she’d used whenever she found me crying and unable to stop. I’d felt weak for months when I was unable to move past it.Shemade me feel weak.
“Don’t make the same mistake again.”
“Your concern is heartwarming.” I pushed past her, rolling my suitcase behind me.
The thought of walking out of this house and never returning shot through me like lightning. The temptation, as always, died as soon as Molly came into view. She sat at the kitchen table, nibbling a chocolate chip cookie, her legs swinging against her chair, her hockey stick beside her.
I took a seat, my heart squeezing at the sight of the meal she’d prepared for me—a brown sugar Pop-Tart and a glass of milk.
“I’m gonna miss you, Molls,” I said, clasping her hand.
One week would pass quickly. It was okay to be selfish sometimes, to take a break from life. Ineededthis. And when I came back, I would be able to better care for Molly.
I could finish what I came here to do.
One day soon, Molly and I would leave together and never look back.
2
NATHAN
Now
I rolled over andreached for my phone on the nightstand, a dull ache in my pitching arm flaring up.
A woman’s moans echoed through the apartment.Fucking Leo.He hadn’t brought a woman home from the club last night—at least not that I remembered—so he’d either gone back out after I crashed or summoned a booty call. A half-empty bottle of Jim on my nightstand was the likely culprit for my sleeping like the dead. I didn’t even remember bringing it in here.
Sometimes I wondered why I didn’t get my own place.
Living together had helped us create synergy on the field, but even after we synced, we never left each other. As minor leaguebaseball players, neither of us earned enough to afford a place on our own. Living with me also gave Leo an easy out with women—either for them to leave after a one-night stand or for him to skirt the issue of moving in together if any woman deluded herself into believing that hooking up with him for six months meant something serious was on the horizon.
I waited for ten minutes after the woman’s lastOh my God, Leobefore heading out of my room and into the kitchen for coffee. Sure enough, within minutes, Leo walked a sheepish-looking brunette I’d never seen to the front of our townhouse, kissed her goodbye, and promised to call when his life calmed down. I rolled my eyes. During the offseason, we had no shortage of downtime, but women who didn’t follow baseball were none the wiser.
“You’re a dick,” I said before taking a long pull from my coffee cup.
He leaned against the counter, shirtless as always. “As if you’re better.”
I was, but not by much. I especially hated the reminder today. My flight back to Middlebury this afternoon would bring me face-to-face with the woman who had once filled so many important roles in my life. Best friend. Neighbor. Confidant. Girlfriend. Teammate.
Brenna wouldn’t respect the man I’d become. I dreaded seeing myself through her eyes.
