But saying it now felt like goodbye, resignation that this night was it for us. That this sex was our last. That I would never get to watch her eyes flutter closed, consumed by the pleasure I gave her. That tonight would be the last night we nestled into each other in bed, drifting to sleep, completely content.
I couldn’t bear to lose her again.
“You’re it for me, Bren.”
She let out the sexiest moan, sending a bolt of longing to my cock. I wouldn’t last much longer. Not when I could feel her inner walls contracting around me.
Her lips landed on mine, and my release barreled into me, hot blinding pleasure shooting through my blood. Brenna kept moving as she careened over the edge, stretching the moment for as long as she could. Then her body slumped against mine, her head resting in the crook of my neck while she greedily inhaled oxygen to her depleted lungs. I smoothed a hand over her damp hair, my touch featherlight, easing her down from her high.
She pressed a kiss to my pulse point, then looked at me through her lashes. “I never stood a chance after I saw you from my bedroom window when I was a kid. You’ve always been it for me, Nathan.”
I was it for her too?I couldn’t believe it. Not after our history and the obstacles in our way. Fate couldn’t be so cruel to bring her back into my life, for me to win her back, only to have distance force us apart again.
Fuck.My instincts screamed to stop her from leaving, to keep her here with me.
I didn’t want to believe tonight was the end.
“I’m not giving up on us, Brenna, all right?”
Those hot-chocolate eyes held mine. “I’m not either.”
45
NATHAN
Now
The house lost allits magic without Brenna.
The Christmas decorations taunted me, a cruel reminder of the days with her and Molly. I could still see Brenna curled on the couch, soaking up warmth from the fireplace. She’d beckon me, lifting one end of her blanket and wriggling her eyebrows. And when I took my place beside her, she fit snugly against me, head on my chest, hand tracing my abdomen, as if she’d been molded for this purpose.
I thought we had more time for nights like that.
Even the cats meowed angrily at me this morning because I was still here while their favorite person wasn’t.I know the fucking feeling.
She loomed over every inch of this house, a place that used to bring only pain. As I moved through it now, a film of memories ofusplayed. The kitchen where we bantered, pretending we didn’t want each other. The guest room where we fought with paint—it had been the first moment since we’d reunited that I thought trying to win her back might not be a lost cause. She stared at me with watery eyes from the steps, begging me to stay and not fly to Houston. Her relief at seeing me when she woke in my bed hours later. The fucking kitchen counter. And my bed…
I refused to let my mind wander there. Being turned-on while sad was too weird of a combination. But I had plenty of favorite memories to choose from in that particular setting.
Brenna was in the air, flying approximately two thousand six hundred miles away from me. I might’ve checked the exact distance while I sat in my car outside the airport after watching her disappear behind the automatic doors. She’d turned and waved, knowing I’d still be there. Even from fifteen feet away, I could tell her eyes were full of unshed tears.
In the four hours since I’d dropped her at the airport, my heart had splintered apart.
Time was not on our side.
My appointment with the surgeon wasn’t for several more hours, so I climbed back into bed like the miserable asshole I was. Her honey-peach scent clung to everything—the sheets beneath me, the pillowcase beside me, the fucking air particles I breathed. A stab of pain burst in my chest. I settled into it, letting it flow through me and pull me into the memories of us here.
The next thing I heard was the doorbell ringing, incessantly, pulling me from sleep. I blinked through the sunlight, checking to see if Brenna stirred before I remembered she wasn’t here.All that greeted me were Mia’s wide eyes in Bren’s spot. The other three cats watched me from their places on the bed. We’d congregated to mourn her loss.
The doorbell rang again, twice.Shit.
I stumbled out of bed, stepped into a pair of sweatpants, and hurried down the hallway. The pounding on the door started as I hit the stairs, followed by a voice I knew all too well.
“Nathan Sharpe, I know you’re in there! Wake your pretty ass up, Sleeping Beauty!”
Oh, please. If either of us were a pretty boy, it would be blue-eyed, blond-haired Leo McGinnis. He hadn’t earned the nicknameDiCapriofor nothing.
I unlocked the door and swung it open, tossing him an unimpressed look. I didn’t try to get a word in, knowing he’d barrel right over me, but my expression must’ve conveyed it.
