The idea of leaving them behind was bad enough but the thought of leaving Gavin made her feel sick to the stomach, the sensation far more powerful than the fear of dying in the siege. To imagine life without him was already difficult. Could anyone else ever live up to him? There was no one out there who could possibly kiss as softly as he could, or who could make her feel as safe.
Not that she felt particularly safe at that moment. The thuds on the keep door were echoing down to them as they crammed into a windowless room in the very bowels of the castle.
“Keep coming,” Gavin called, waving over his head. “This way. Heather, hold this.”
She took the torch from him, feeling the heat of it as she watched him. He was running his hands over the rough stone walls. “Here,” he muttered, yanking at a stone. It came loose revealing a dark hole. Reaching into the hole, he tugged with his arm.
In the corner, a large flat flagstone suddenly bent in half. “I had it put in a couple of years ago,” he said as Heather marvelled at the sight. “Looks like stone but is merely wood. Come on everyone, quietly as you can.”
He led the way down a flight of steps, Heather behind him holding the torch to illuminate the passage.
They descended into a tunnel that seemed to go on forever. Heather lost track of the time as they walked. By the time they emerged into the open, it was dark. Heavy rain had begun to fall.
“Leave the torch behind,” Gavin said as he took the first step out of the tunnel. “We cannot risk them seeing the light.”
The tunnel opened out into a thick wood, the trees crammed together, leaving barely enough room for people to emerge in single file. The thick canopy above kept some of the rain at bay but not enough. Soon the group was soaked.
In silence they trudged out of the trees into the open. Looking back Heather could see the castle in the distance. People were cheering, the sound echoing off the surrounding mountains.
No one was cheering in the MacGregor exodus. They made their way slowly across pastureland, Gavin in front. He glanced back at her.
“What are you thinking?” she asked quietly.
“That this is all my fault. That I should have guarded the sallyport. Or sealed it even. I can’t understand why it slipped my mind.”
“I can,” she replied. “You got distracted by me.”
He shook his head. “You are not to blame for this. I am.”
“I distracted you when you should have concentrating on the siege. It’s my fault.”
“It is not.” He looked to the front again, lapsing into silence.
Heather wanted to believe him but she couldn’t. It was her fault. He looked so downhearted. She could see past the confidence he was portraying to his people. He was clearly hurt by what had happened and that was in no way surprising. He’d just lost his castle, the home of his clan, and all because she had to have his attention.
She thought about what would have happened if she hadn’t come back to the past. First of all, the MacGregors would not have lost their castle. Gavin would have his full focus on the siege when it took place.
She had no doubt he’d have thought more about the sallyport. She hadn’t even had chance to tell him in advance about Keir betraying the clan, not that it mattered anymore.
“I cannot believe Keir would do that,” Gavin said about ten minutes later. “To think he would side with outlaws over his own laird.”
Heather said nothing. She felt guilt washing over her. It was one more thing that she was responsible for.
“I saw him in the wood, talking to Jimmy the Snout. He killed Susanne but I’ve no doubt he was trying to kill me. Tanya said I came here for a reason.”
“And what reason was that?”
“According to her I’m supposed to help you defeat the old crone.”
“How?”
“It’s something to do with the key, I think.”
“Your silver key?”
“I think so. She said I had to decide whether to go home and leave you to it or stay and help. I never thought staying would mean this. I’m sorry, Gavin. I shouldn’t have distracted you from your duties.”
“You did not distract me from anything.”
