Think about the promotion, she told herself, turning her head away from the painting. Don’t think about the past. Think about the future. That’s what matters. Think about what you can change, not what you can’t. What’s done is done and can never be undone.
She rehearsed her speech as she got ready for work. It had to be snappy. She only had ten minutes of Boris’s precious time to prove she was ready for this. With Donna’s help she’d spent weeks honing her speech until she had it word perfect. As she dried her hair, she rehearsed it again and again.
“Why do I deserve this post? Well, I’ve been with the company ten years and in that time…”
She sighed to herself. Ten years. A decade with the same firm. What happened to the dream? The history degree? What happened to the life on a smallholding in the highlands? Finding some Chris Pine Outlaw King of her own to rule over her own tiny little kingdom.
She knew the answer, of course. Her parents taught her that dreams were pointless. What she needed was a steady income, not survive on welfare like them. A steady job and a steady boyfriend.
She’d always planned to move north when she had enough money saved up. But her savings ended up going on their funeral. She barely had time to grieve. The first thing to go was the degree. She needed money fast. Life in the city grew more and more expensive, saving up became impossible. And then somehow ten years had gone by.
“Why do I deserve this post?” she said while getting dressed. “Because I’ve been here ten years and in that time I was responsible for the Birkbeck file getting resolved, doubling our profit just in time for the latest quarterly shareholder meeting. As someone used to taking responsibility for complex projects, I am used to working under pressure and I have already analyzed the specific strategic systems that will guarantee-”
She glanced at her cellphone. Time to go.
She was out the door and heading for the subway a minute later, still running over her speech. The sun was low in the sky, a cold autumn wind blowing pages from an old newspaper along the gutter. She shivered. The heat of summer felt like a distant memory. Winter was coming and it was going to be a cold one.
The meeting was scheduled for eight-thirty. She was there half an hour early. Boris was already in his office, phone clamped to his ear. He’d been there when she’d left at eight the previous evening. Did the guy ever go home? He looked on the verge of a heart attack.
She knocked on his door and he immediately waved her in. As the door opened he pressed the phone to his chest. “You’ve got one minute,” he said to her before putting the phone back to his ear. “No, you tell him three o’clock today or I come down there and take him out of his chair and we’ll see what flavor pizza he looks like when I chuck him into the street. I’m guessing Hawaiian with human guts splattered all over the kerb flavor.”
He pressed the phone to his chest again, nodding at Heather. “Go.”
“Well, Sir,” she began, rattled by the way he was staring at her. “As you know the post of regional manager has come up and it’s always been a goal of mine to progress further within the company and I think-”
He shook his head. “We gave the post to Alan. David recommended him.” He put the phone to his ear and immediately began barking down the receiver. “No, no, no!”
She tried her best to process what he’d just said. They’d given the post to Alan? The man who took two hour lunch breaks and openly watched adult videos on his office computer? The post she’d worked solidly toward diligently and professionally? They’d given it to him?
She realized Boris had said something she hadn’t caught. “Sorry, Sir?”
“I said there’s a project up in Scotland I need you to take control of for me. The R and D department are onto something new and they need someone I can trust. Tony asked for you personally. Reckon you can handle it?”
“Scotland? I don’t know. I-”
“No, no, no!” he shouted down the phone while pushing her toward the door. “You tell him right now he either goes to Berlin and his family lump it or he stays here and they have an unemployed loser dad. Would he like that? He does what I tell him. He goes to Berlin or he loses his job. I can’t put that any simpler. Tell him that right now.” He lowered the phone to his chest again. “Well? What do you say?”
“Scotland sounds great.”
He didn’t smile but he managed a thumbs up with his free hand. “Good. I wish I had more people like you, Heather. I’ll get the deets emailed across. If this goes well there’ll be an office with your name on it waiting for you when you get back.” He closed the door in her face, turning away from her, still yelling down the phone.
She could hear his muffled voice. It was mainly shouting things about balls being removed and mailed to various parts of the country. She felt sorry for the person on the other end of the phone. Then she stopped feeling sorry for them and started to feel sorry for herself.
Alan had taken her promotion? Snatched it from her. Were her parents right. Was it pointless to have hopes? To have dreams? It seemed that way.
Someone else would always come along and snatch them, leaving you feeling that weird feeling like when an elevator suddenly lurches downward and leaves your stomach behind. To make matters worse, David had recommended Alan. Her boyfriend had undermined her. Why?
Scotland though, she thought, trying to distract herself. That was good. Get to see the department that no one talked about but that ate up two thirds of the profits the entire corporation made. What were they doing up there?
During her lunchbreak she sat opposite David in the office canteen, trying to get him to explain. He had his laptop open in front of him.
“Look at this,” he said, turning the screen to face her. “Down four points this morning. I swear no one listens to me. Honey, you know me right? You’d listen if I told you the Tokyo deal was dead in the water? They never ever listen to me.”
“I know the feeling,” she replied.
“Huh?” He frowned and then smiled. “Sorry, darling. I promise I am listening. You were saying something about going on vacation to Scotland? I can’t at the minute but maybe next month.”
“That wasn’t what I was saying at all. Can you just close that for a moment and take an actual break from work.”
