She had been so certain that she understood him. For the first time in her life everything seemed right. Then he pulled away, making up some nonsense about waiting until they were married.
That might have been true, she supposed. If only he hadn’t then run out of the room like a scalded cat.
Her shoulders sagged as she walked. What was the point in trying to fight her fate?
What was it that Fenella had said? If she chose to stay in the past darkness would come? Was that it?
Darkness had come. It had washed over her like a wave and now it was suffocating her like a thick blanket over her face. She could hardly breathe through it. Tears would not come, the sensation was too much. A numbness was spreading through her, a numbness she remembered all too well. It had been there whenever Edward had hurt her in the past, a way of switching off, trying to ignore the pain he’d caused.
She listened as he continued talking, his words worming their way into the most vulnerable parts of her mind, taking over, making her see that he was right. He had punished her because she had been bad but he was magnanimous. He would forgive her for what she had done while she was here. He was compassionate. He would let it all go.
The one thing he would not let go was her hand. He continued to keep tight hold of it the entire time they walked north.
As the hours passed she began to tire. She’d become used to traveling by horse and so many miles on foot in the icy chill was exhausting.
Stumbling yet again, she almost fell. Edward turned to look at her. “You need to rest,” he said, smiling patiently. “Sit here for a minute.”
She was barely on the ground before she was asleep. When she next opened her eyes the sun had risen and Edward was stretching his arms next to her, yawning loudly. “Where did this blanket come from?” she asked, gripping the heavy wool that was draped over her body, keeping out the worst of the cold.
“Bought it from a cottage while you slept,” he replied. “I know, you’re grateful. Don’t mention it. I intend to do things differently when we get back, not take you for granted like I did before you went. Things will be all right between us this time. We just need to get back to our time with beds and central heating and none of this walking everywhere. I swear we could have driven from the inn to the old hall in about half an hour if we had a car.”
“Is that where we’re going?” Kerry asked, getting slowly to her feet, keeping the blanket wrapped around her.
“Unless you know of another way back to the future?”
“No but how do you know about it?”
“I followed my heart and it brought me to my true love. That’s you, Kerry. You know I love you, don’t you?”
She nodded slowly, unable to meet his eyes. She was afraid of what she might see in them.
The morning sun took away the worst of the cold but it was still a chill day as they began once again to walk north. In the daylight Kerry could see where they were. She recognized the mountains to her left from the last time she came this way. By her calculations they only had a couple of hours to go before they’d reach the hall.
What then?
She would walk through and go back to her old life. She would go back and be with Edward.
She didn’t want to do it but she had established that she wasn’t going to get to do what she wanted. What she wanted was to be with the man she loved but it turned out he didn’t want her.
She didn’t ask herself if it was possible that Edward was lying. Even if he was, he had nothing to do with the fact that Callum had left the room immediately after they kissed and he had not come back.
Nor had he been downstairs in the tavern when she left. He had left her at once. No doubt he was on his way back home to marry the woman he was supposed to.
Was that why he’d done it? She allowed herself a spark of hope. Perhaps he had felt something for her but he was as much a victim of circumstance as her. He had to marry Nessa for the sake of his clan. She was a splinter, something irritating to be removed before it could do too much harm.
Was that true though? The question she hadn’t asked herself came loud and clear to her. What if Edward was lying?
She looked at his face and at once the warmth left it. That was just a mask. He was smiling still but his hand was once again holding hers tightly.
She shook her head. How had she fallen for it yet again? She could have kicked herself. The only explanation was how tired and cold she’d been last night, too chilled to the bone to think clearly. She’d also been thrown by Callum running out on her, dwelling on that when she should have been thinking.
“Not long to go,” Edward said, glancing at her. “Then we’ll get home and everything can go back the way it was.”
Of course, she thought. Back how it was. Her under his thumb, obeying all his rules, never being allowed to have a mind of her own. Callum had never once struck her, had never once shown an iota of violent motion toward her. Callum had been far kinder to her than Edward ever had. That didn’t explain why he left after the kiss but maybe he really had just gone to get some water. That would explain why he hadn’t been in the tavern when she descended the stairs.
What about the note though?
“What have you done with him?” she asked, realization hitting her in a wave.
