Him in his old FDNY t-shirt. Barefoot. Humming something off-key. Morning light streaming through the windows of the apartment we'd made into a home.
"Garrett."
He looked up. Smiled. "Pancakes are almost ready. You want blueberries or?—"
"I'm pregnant."
The spatula clattered against the pan.
He went completely still. The kind of still I'd only seen once before, the day I'd walked into Engine 295 after eight years, and he'd frozen with a coffee cup halfway to his mouth.
"You're..."
"Pregnant." My voice cracked. I was crying already, tears sliding down my cheeks even as I smiled. "The doctor confirmed it yesterday. I wanted to tell you last night, but you were on shift, and I didn't want to do it over the phone?—"
He crossed the kitchen in three steps.
His hands found my face. Tilting it up. Thumbs brushing away tears. His eyes were wet, too, gray-blue and bright and filled with something that made my chest ache.
"We're having a baby," he said.
"We're having a baby."
He lifted me off my feet. Spun me around right there in the kitchen, pancakes forgotten on the stove. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held on, laughing and crying at the same time.
"Garrett, the pancakes?—"
"I don't care about the pancakes." He set me down but didn't let go. Forehead pressed to mine. Breath warm on my face. "Sloane. We're having a baby."
"I'm scared." My voice was small. "After last time?—"
"I know." He pulled me close, tucking my head under his chin. "I'm scared too. But we're doing this together. Whatever happens. I'm not going anywhere."
I breathed him in. Smoke and soap and home.
"Together," I said.
"Together."
The smoke alarm went off.
Garrett swore, lunging for the stove. The pancakes had turned into charcoal. I started laughing, the helpless, hysterical laughter of someone whose entire world had just shifted on its axis.
"I love you," I said.
"I love you too." He was already reaching for the batter, grinning. "Now sit down. You’re eating for two."
"That's not how it works."
"I don't care."
We told the crew at the barbecue.
Garrett manned the grill. Shane and Maya on the lawn chairs, James on Shane's lap pulling at his sunglasses. Zoe and Lily sharing earbuds on the back steps. Brian and Ava in the corner, Sofia asleep against Brian's chest. Rodriguez leaning against the fence with Maria, Lucia and Marco chasing each other across the grass.
Everyone we loved, in one place.
Garrett caught my eye across the yard. I nodded.
