“Right,” I said, nodding my head at him. “Twenty yearsago. I was—it was—complicated. If you wanna hear that?”
He nodded. “I—just to get this right, you wanted to kiss me, but it’s not a joke thing, is it?”
“No, I do wanna look at your fire alarms and assess if they’re functioning properly,” I said. “I’d never joke about that.”
Caspian’s smirk was a dagger of butterflies to the gut. “And you’re not here to kiss me, just work.”
“The kiss was a bonus,” I said. “And I—I wanted to come by and see if you liked the gift I got you.”
“Love it,” he said. “I’m still a bit confused, though.”
“I’m only supposed to be here for about twenty minutes, so ask me anything.”
“The wife?”
“Cliff’s notes. High school sweethearts. Married. Pressure from my dad. Very conservative family. Issues with religion. I told her I was gay. Not quite ready to be out. We annulled the marriage. So, was I even married? And yeah, I packed up, moved here, decided life was still worth living. Never had a relationship really with another guy. But for months now, I’ve seen you, and I—” Balls, words were not coming out fast enough. I must’ve caught it from that kiss; the idea put a smile on my face. “I wanted to ask you out. And now, I see, you’re probably more my type than I realized.”
His adorable face frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Submissive,” I said softly, placing a hand on hisshoulder then raising it to rest on his neck, my thumb rubbing against his Adam’s apple. “But the type of submissive you are, well, I’d like to explore it.”
“I’m a little,” he said, lolling his chin into my thumb. “If we’re being open, I’m into the sweeter side of things. Like routine, reading in bed, not harsh things, but I’m open to spanking if I’m naughty.”
“You’re perfect,” I whispered. It came out of nowhere. I’d thought it, but to say it was completely different. A shiver ran right through me and seemingly into him. He giggled. “Show me your room.”
He shook his head. “It’s a mess.”
“Do as Daddy says.”
He whimpered. “Yes, Daddy.”
“You like that?” I asked.
He nodded. “Yes.”
“Good boy.” I stroked my hand up the side of his face and back again. “Now, show me your room. Also the fire alarms, and the nearest fire escape. This place better be up to code.”
Capsian’s adorable giggle had me tensing every muscle in my body. I couldn’t even hide the chub in my sweatpants. I’d experienced littles before—the onesies, the fuckable teddies, the crates of juice boxes—but Caspian wasn’t like the others, he was looking at me to be his Daddy. The others had just wanted to use me for the night. I think he wanted more than a night, and right now, I couldn’t even give himmore than twenty minutes.
I was still on the clock.
***
I was a thrill seeker, I’d always engaged in thrill-seeking behavior. It’s what made me train to be a firefighter on the first place. The idea of running into burning buildings, into being sky high and having nerves of steel, all of that, it made life feel complete to me. And then there was the part of my life that reminded me of how incomplete I was—it was relationships. My sister and her husband had a fantastic life with my niece and nephew. They weren’t like my father, and my sister knew I was gay.
I just never thought I’d find someone, and then I found Caspian. He was at the back of the bakery, and his shimmery cheek highlights caught my attention. The first time I saw him he was wafting at the smoke alarm, trying to get it to stop while I stood, barely seeing much smoke.
My memories of that moment were strong because I thought of it a lot, but they often changed to include parts where I could kiss him, and I’d embrace him. Now that had happened, a new pit opened in me—it wasn’t excitement, it was fear.
What if I couldn’t be a good Daddy in this way?
I was cut from my dreamy haze by fingers snapping in my face.
“So, what was the problem?” Janey asked.
Back at the firehouse, I’d been staring into the storage cupboard for... a while it seemed.
“Anything I can help with?” she continued to ask. “And why didn’t you bring any cake back with you?”
