"It's new for me," he admits, his voice softening. "This need to protect, to make things right. I've never felt it before. Not like this."
The way he says it makes me look up. The intensity in his eyes catches me off guard. There's something raw there, something I'm not ready to name.
"Axel," I start, not sure what I'm going to say.
"You don't have to say anything," he interrupts gently. "I know the timing is terrible. I know we're flying into a shitstorm. But when this is over, when you and Poppy are safe…" He pauses, choosing his words carefully. "We should talk about what happens next."
I swallow hard, not sure what I’m feeling. "One crisis at a time," I manage, looking away.
"Fair enough." Axel's voice is soft, but his hand remains on mine, steady and warm.
The silence stretches between us, filled only by the hum of the engines and Poppy's gentle breathing. I try to focus on the toast, forcing myself to take small bites even though each one feels like swallowing sand.
"I'm not just afraid of Elliot," I finally say, the words spilling out before I can stop them. My voice sounds strange to my own ears, thin, almost fragile. "I'm terrified of the whole system."
Axel shifts in his seat to face me more fully, his expression open but not pushing.
"The courts, the judges, the lawyers, they don't know me. They'll see what Elliot wants them to see." My hands shake, and I set down the toast before I drop it. "A mother who ran away. Who changed her name. Who doesn't have fancy degrees or a stable address history. They'll judge me for all of it."
"The evidence speaks for itself," Axel says quietly.
"Evidence doesn't always matter." I look over at Poppy. "People see what they expect to see. And in a custody hearing, they expect the mother to be perfect. I'm not perfect. I'm… damaged. Paranoid. Always looking over my shoulder."
"You're cautious," Axel corrects. "With good reason."
I shake my head, the fear I've been holding back suddenly too big to contain.
"What if they take her from me? What if they believe him? What if—" My voice breaks, and I press my hand to my mouth, trying to hold back the sob building in my chest.
"Hey." Axel takes both my hands in his, his grip firm but gentle. "Look at me."
I force myself to meet his eyes, expecting to see pity or, worse, the patronizing reassurance people offer when they have no idea what they're talking about. Instead, I see calm certainty.
"The judge is a woman," he says simply. "Fifty-six. Two kids of her own. Consistently rules in favor of protecting children from manipulative parents. She's seen cases like this before—and she doesn't fuck around with men who use the system as a weapon."
I blink, surprised by the specificity. "How do you?—"
"I did my homework." He squeezes my hands. "The lawyer waiting for us in Portland? He's handled three cases against Elliot's attorney. Won all of them. Knows every trick in their playbook."
A tiny spark of hope flickers in my chest. "You researched the judge?"
"And the courthouse security. And the clerk who'll process our paperwork." His mouth quirks up in a half smile. "I even know which bailiff will be on duty. Former military. Takes no shit from anyone."
Despite everything, a small laugh escapes me. "That's… thorough."
"I'm a details guy. When it matters." His thumb traces circles on my palm.
"Look, the system isn't perfect. But it's made of people. And people respond to preparation, to confidence, to truth. We have all three."
I want to believe him. God, I want to believe him so badly. But the fear is so familiar, so deeply rooted. "Elliot has money. Connections."
"So do I." Axel's voice hardens slightly. "More than he does. The difference is, I'm using mine to protect, not destroy."
The simplicity of that statement hits me with unexpected force. I've been so focused on running, on hiding, on stayingsmall and invisible, that I forgot there's another option, standing and fighting, with the right resources behind me.
"What if I break down in there?" I whisper, voicing my deepest fear. "What if I can't hold it together when I see him? If I fall apart in front of the judge…"
"Then you fall apart." Axel shrugs, his expression softening. "You're human, Sadie. Humans break sometimes. It doesn't make you weak; it makes you real."
