The more I thought about it, the more I realized just how much I hated the fact that Liv had grown more distant. I didn’t want her to be distant. I wanted her to feel like she could be genuine with me, that she didn’t have to hide behind her sunny demeanor all the time. Her optimism might have been her true nature, one of the reasons I liked her, but I knew it was also a shield. She hid the rest of her emotions and feelings behind it.
You could start by apologizing, the voice said.That would probably help.
Again, the voice had a point, but my father’s words echoed in my head. Apologizing was for the weak. You had to stand by your decisions. Apologizing would just muddy the waters further.
I needed to find a way to get her to feel comfortable around me, to help her feel like she could let her guard down.But given everything, that could be a years-long endeavor. Even then, it might not be enough.
Chapter 15 - Liv
“This was a great idea, Liv,” Jessie said, reclining on the sofa as she sipped her wine. She let out a contented sigh. “With everything going on, I could use a bit of girl time.”
“No kidding,” Rachel agreed. “With the demon and everything, Emma and I are stretched pretty thin. I was getting so in my own head that it’s nice to get a bit of reprieve.”
I grinned and raised my glass in a mock toast. “Always happy to be of assistance.”
“You seem a bit more relaxed. Are you and Drake getting along all right?” Rachel said. “Are you adjusting all right? It’s been a crazy time without having to deal with a new mate.”
I gave a wide smile that I hoped reached my eyes. “Yeah! It’s been fine. The adjustment has still been a bit weird, but for the most part, we’ve gotten into a rhythm.”
That wasn’t entirely true. In fact, it was nowhere near true. Everything with Drake felt as though it had gotten infinitely more complicated in the last few days. We had spoken, and things had become more cordial since we’d had sex, but we had never spoken about it. It was a huge chasm between us that neither of us seemed to want to, or know how to, acknowledge.
And I couldn’t shake the way he had looked when I told him I didn’t think it was a good idea for us to have sex again. His reaction, turning immediately surly again, had sent a different jolt of panic through me: What if he was only interested in me for sex? It was possible. But if that were the case, the fact that I had refused to have sex again was a good thing.
The problem was that I still wanted him. I thought about him constantly, imagining him coming into my room late atnight, slipping into my bed. I had fought these feelings for so long, and now it seemed like all of that restraint was crumbling around me. I didn’t understand how it could happen. And that didn’t change the fact that I was still furious with him for what he had done. And every time I thought about it, it just felt more complicated. My emotions and thoughts seemed to swirl around and around like a tempest that wouldn’t stop. I just wanted things to make sense, for them to settle so I could think straight. But nothing—
Something crashed behind me. I spun around to see the lamp that had been in the middle of the end table moments earlier on the ground, shattered.
“What—?” I muttered, but didn’t have time to get anything else out before a photo hanging on the wall rose from its spot and began spinning around. I took a step back as my eyes widened. The red wine in my glass began to rise as if we were suddenly in zero gravity. My hand flew to my mouth as I gaped.
Jessie gasped, her eyes growing wide.
“What the hell?” she asked.
Rachel, however, didn’t panic. Her eyes darted around, watching the scene with a knowing scrutiny, as if she already had a suspicion as to what was going on.
“Liv, I think you’re doing this,” Rachel said, her voice uncharacteristically sharp and intense.
“What?” I asked, brow furrowed. “What are you talking about?”
Instead of answering right away, Rachel said, “Close your eyes and breathe deep. Center yourself, all right?”
I was too confused and bewildered to argue or question the command. So I closed my eyes, focusing on deep breaths asmy chest rose and fell, rose and fell. My mind began to clear as I pushed thoughts of Drake and all the other problems plaguing the pack and me right now out of my mind. Right now, the only thing that mattered was my breathing.
“Oh my God,” Jessie muttered. “That’s…”
“Liv, open your eyes,” Rachel said, something inscrutable in her voice.
I obeyed. When I did, all of the objects that had been swimming all around had stopped. They hovered in the air, as if waiting for…something. My mouth dropped open. I reached out and poked a blob of wine near my head. It wiggled a little, but didn’t start moving.
Then, without my doing anything, everything collapsed. The wine splashed as it hit the floor, a little sinking into the carpet while the rest spilled onto the hardwood. Glass shattered, the wood of the picture frame cracking.
“Oh, God.” My hand flew to my mouth. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to…”
To what? What exactly had I done? I had no idea. How did I even know it was me who had been doing it? I wasn’t sure, but deep down, I knew it somehow had something to do with me.
I turned to look at Jessie and Rachel. They looked stunned, unsure what had just happened or why. Jessie looked as stumped as I was. Rachel, though visibly shocked, looked as though she knew precisely what was going on, or at least had an inclination.
“What…?” I trailed off, licking my lips as I glanced at the carnage around us. “What just happened?”
