“When is the ceremony?” Rachel asked. “We can go dress shopping if you want.”
I shook my head, waving it away. “I have a dress,” I said. “It’s Thursday, but it’s not going to be anything big. It’s just going to be us and the elders and Oracle. We both wanted something private.”
It wasn’t entirely true. I hadn’t even asked Drake about the size, though I couldn’t imagine he would oppose something small and quiet, considering him.
In my dream mating ceremony, there would have been a huge party after, where everyone could have a great time and enjoy themselves well into the night. I had always pictured myself in an elegant dress, surrounded by everyone I loved and cared about. I had expected myself to be ecstatic that I was getting to spend the rest of my life with my mate.
Given the circumstances, though, none of that really spoke to me. I didn’t want people there. I wanted it over with as quickly as possible.
Unfortunately, Rachel and Jessie were my best friends for a reason, and neither of them seemed particularly convinced by my abbreviated, half-baked explanations.
“Why did Drake want you to stay with him before the ceremony?” Rachel asked.
I didn’t answer at first as I tried to figure out what to tell them, because I wasn’t about to admit the truth that I had tried to run away. That would open up a whole can of worms I didn’t want to delve into. I had never told anyone about what had happened between me and Drake, Jessie and Rachel included. I hadn’t wanted to admit how badly I’d been hurt. I hadn’t wanted to dwell on it, either. I still didn’t. Dwelling did no one any good.
“I think he just wanted us to get used to one another,” I lied. “It’s been a while since we really spoke, and this was sprung on both of us. So the more we get used to one another, the easier it will be.”
Jessie frowned as she looked at me. “Are you sure you’re okay, Liv?” she asked, then lowered her voice. “I can’t imagine this is easy for you.”
I nearly burst into laughter. Jessie didn’t know the half of it. It certainly wasn’t easy. She just didn’t realize how true that was.
“I’m fine,” I said, waving my hand dismissively. That insistent need to always at least pretend to be happy persisted even with my friends. It had been a mantra my mother had repeated over and over.
“Are you sure?” she asked. “Because it’s a weird situation.”
Jessie and I had become friends later in high school, but she was so intuitive and clever that she could just pick up on those subtleties without my saying anything.
I shrugged. “Sure, it’s not ideal, and it’s a bit awkward. But I’m sure something good will come out of it! I mean, look at it this way. If it really does help with the fight against the wraith, then that will make it all worthwhile.”
She tilted her head, still studying me. I tried to keep the smile on my face, but the problem was that Jessie knew me too well.
“It’s okay if you’re unhappy about the situation, you know,” she said. “We aren’t going to judge you.”
Rachel nodded, bouncing Isaac on her knee. “I know what it’s like to have that sprung on you,” she said. “I definitely wasn’t entirely on board when I first heard the news.”
Part of me wanted to admit how shaken the whole thing had made me, but I flapped my hand. “It’s fine,” I said. “I’m going to find the silver lining in this. It might just take me a while.”
I meant it, too. Over the years, I had managed to deal with things by finding those nuggets of good in bad situations. Take, for example, the situation with Drake. I’d learned what kind of person he was and that I needed to love myself. I’d learned to look on the bright side of things because of it, too. It had taken a while for me to do, but I did eventually, and I’d been better off because of it.
Whatever the bright side of this situation with Drake was, it might not be immediately obvious, but I was sure there had to be one there. Ihadto be sure, because that was the only way I knew I would get through it.
Rachel and Jessie exchanged dubious glances, as if neither of them fully believed me.
“If you ever want to talk about it, though, we’re here for you,” Jessie said, and Rachel nodded.
I kept the smile. “Nothing to talk about! It’ll all work out in the end.”
I was sure it would, because it had to. Thinking otherwise was only going to bring me down and make things worse.
Now that we were in the same house, I had started trying to avoid Drake as much as possible. It wasn’t easy. I could smell his scent throughout the house, making it impossible to forget what was about to happen in a few days. It also made it impossible to forget that I was still attracted to him. I still wanted him. Whenever we were in the same room, I was constantly aware of everything he did, his every motion. I hated him. I didn’t want anything to do with him. And yet, the sight of him still drove my wolf wild.
My mind went back to that moment in my apartment when Drake’s fingers had brushed against mine. I wondered what would have happened if I had cleared that gap between us.
I gritted my teeth and pushed the thoughts away. It didn’t mean anything. Nothing would have happened besides an awkward shuffling as both of us retreated. There was nothing between us.
Thankfully, our waiter picked that moment to come out with our food, and I carefully tucked away the uncomfortable conversation before Jessie or Rachel could prod further.
Chapter 4 - Drake
