Prologue - Liv
School had let out an hour ago, and I was still in the hall, bouncing from foot to foot as I both tried to convince myself to not do what I was planning on doing and convince myself to go through with it.
No. I had made up my mind. For once in my life, I was going to take a gamble.
I was about to do the bravest thing I had ever done, and I was absolutely petrified and buzzing with adrenaline at the same time. I gnawed the inside of my cheek as I glanced all around, mulling over the situation. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe I should turn around and run for the hills.
My shirt rode up, and I tugged it down self-consciously, heat flickering up my face. As I did, I caught a glimpse of my reflection. I was overweight, and part of me loathed the sight of myself in the mirror. Even now. I was chubby, my hair looked a mess, and my face looked too round.
I snarled and ran my fingers through my hair. This was stupid. I couldn’t believe I was even considering it. There was no way he was going to be interested in me. I mean, look at me. Who would be? That wasn’t including the fact that I couldn’t shift. Not everyone in the pack could, of course, but that didn’t change the fact that it was another tick against me. There were a dozen different reasons why he wouldn’t want anything to do with me.
Except, despite that, I couldn’t help but keep hoping. It wasn’t anything concrete, more that I knew what he was to me, and, if he felt it, too, then we were meant to be together in the first place. Surely that would mean he would like me regardless.
I needed to run. I should run.
No. I had been running from this for too long. I had been running from everything for too long. I was tired of it, and I wasn’t going to let that fear stop me this time. If I didn’t do something about it now, I would regret it for the rest of my life.
I took a deep breath and pushed the door open that led to a clump of picnic tables. A group of high schoolers, in my year and the one above, lounged together, laughing, having a good time. I had always wanted to be a part of those groups, had always wanted to feel included and on the inside. I had never been invited. Hell, most of the people in this group made fun of me at least once a week. I wouldn’t be walking anywhere near them, were it not for one singular person.
At the edge of the cluster, stern and unsmiling as he listened to the rest of the group, sat Drake. His lips were a thin, almost surly line as he watched. The sun shone down on his dark hair, making it gleam.
A lump formed in my throat, and my heart thundered. My feet seemed rooted to the spot.
The way they always did, his green eyes seemed to find me without him trying, as if he always knew where I was. The air rushed out of my lungs as I looked at him.
If the rest of the group saw me, they would immediately start picking on me. And if that happened, Drake would join in.
But if I could get him on his own, he changed. He was gentler, softer. He was still surly, but that was part of his charm.
He glanced over to the rest of his group, then back to me. He raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything as I crept closer, trying not to draw too much attention to myself. He remained quiet as he watched me creep toward him, waiting until I was next to him. His scent—campfire smoke and leather—drifted toward me, making my wolf stir with interest as my heart pounded.
He broke away, hands in pockets, and came to meet me. He waited for me to speak.
“Drake, I was hoping I could talk to you,” I muttered.
Once more, he twisted to look over at his group. They still hadn’t noticed me. I waited, wondering if he could hear my heart jackhammering. I didn’t know what I would do if he said no, or if he summoned his friends over.
When his friends still didn’t register that they had an intruder in their midst, Drake turned back to me and nodded. He jerked his head back to the school. Hands trembling, my entire body all but quivering with adrenaline and terror, I followed, knowing that I was about to take a massive gamble on someone who didn’t want his friends to know he was talking with me.
He walked around the side of the building to an isolated corner, the type of place where couples would sneak off to during class to hook up. I tried my best not to read into that. When we stopped, he raised his eyebrows, glancing around to look for anyone else.
“What’s up?” he said, leaning against the wall.
The words stuck in my throat, unease still rippling off me. If someone walked around the corner, the conversation would halt. He’d either go quiet or start in with whatever cruel joke they wanted to play on me.
But when it was just the two of us, he was often kind and gentle. Once, when it had been pouring rain, and I had left my umbrella and rain jacket at home, I had lurked at the door, trying to figure out a way to get home without getting soppingwet. As I was trying to figure out a plan, Drake had strolled by. He took one look at me and held out his umbrella.
“Here,” he grunted. “I don’t have that far to walk.”
“I couldn’t—” I tried to say, but before I could protest properly, he had shoved it into my hand, his fingers brushing against mine for just the briefest of moments before strolling out the door without another word. I watched as he walked, hunched over, through the pouring rain.
The next day, I left the umbrella dangling from his locker, the string tied to the handle. I wanted to ask him why he had done it, but the next time I saw him, he was surrounded by his friends, and no matter how nice or gentle he was when it was just the two of us, he changed the second we were in public.
But he was alone now, and if he was ever going to listen to what I had to say, then it would be now. My palms had suddenly gone slick with sweat.
I opened my mouth to tell him the truth, but the words lodged in my throat as I chickened out.
“I wanted to thank you for letting me use your umbrella last week,” I finally said.
