“Nothing.” I clear my throat. “Nothing, Button. Here, lay down. Cameron won’t care if we crash in here tonight.” Big, satiated hazel eyes widen.
“We—yeah okay. Sure.” He lays back down and I pull the blanket from under him, ignoring the mess made on the top layer. “Are you...” The vulnerability in his eyes squeezes at my chest, so I nod and crawl in behind him.
I hold him to me, my face buried in his neck, bathing myself in the smell of his sweat and the sweet citrus he radiates. I allow myself this one last time, my fingers grazing his hips, his stomach, the bite marks I embedded into him. The first and only time any proof of whatever this thing is between will be taken with him once the sun rises.
Then, when I feel his breathing even out, I put on my shirt and shoes—kiss him one last time, and leave—locking the door from the inside on the way out.
Chapter Eight
January 2018
Benjamin
Don’t get me wrong—I wasn’t expecting Aaron to take me out on a date or profess his undying love or anything. But at the very least I expected him to still be in the fucking bed when I woke up, or to answer his phone when I called. Unrealistic expectations, I guess.
I woke up wrapped in foreign blankets, completely naked with lube still covering my asshole. After dressing quickly and noticing the door had been locked from theinside, I slipped out of Cameron’s house and began my walk of shame.
The night before is clearer in my mind than I’d like, screaming at me alongside the tick that just keeps getting louder and louder. I can see Aaron’s tense face as I practically begged him to touch me. Fucking Felix and his insane death drink. I know Aaron was intoxicated too, but not to what extent.
“Okay, baby. I’ll make you cry.”
I shiver, hearing his voice in my head, feeling his hands on my skin. The way my body reacts to him, the unreal pleasure I feel at his handsis terrifying. His fingers light me on fire and his eyes, his words, every little sound he makes has the capability of tearing me apart. I remember his praise, telling me how beautiful I am, how good I taste, that I’m a good boy. I adjust myself in my pants discreetly as I walk, annoyed at my half-hard dick.Didn’t get enough, traitor?
Aaron looked at me with such intensity—you would have thought he’d been waiting for this, breath bated. I mean, he did say he thinks about my dick a lot. I sigh, rubbing a hand over my face. Of course someone as beautiful as him is cruel enough to say such sweet things and not mean a single one.
But more concerning than anything else is how I went from Benjamin—strong and stubborn, leader in most situations,always in charge—to Benjamin, on my hands and knees begging, following every command, almost coming at the feeling of Aaron fucking my face so hard my vision blackens around the edges.
“That’s right, baby, keep coming. I’ll be your God. Pray to me. Thank me.”
And last night he was. I looked up at Aaron standing over me, green eyes and curled black hair, and something inside of me shifted in a way I can only call religious. All muscle and dominance, stroking his cock that was an insanely pretty shade of pink, long and thick with a neatly trimmed patch of hair over his pubic bone. He looked just like the Aaron I’ve always known, which made looking at him so much dirtier. That rated-R version of him thrilled me so much—the intimacy of seeing him that way was suffocating. No matter how many times I’d fantasized about his body, nothing could have prepared me for the immediate desire to beg him for a single touch, to thank him for even looking in my direction.
I hate the power he has over me. All inhibitions fly out the window. If Aaron walked up to me now and told me to drop to my knees, I just might.
I look at my now-dead phone and sigh. Fuck, Felix is going to kill me.
I’m walking up the concrete path to the front door when I pause. How will I face Aaron today? How will I not hear my own pleas every time he looks at me?
“Thank you, oh God,thank you.”
Will he be replaying it in his mind too? Is he imagining how I tasted the moment he ran his tongue along my entrance? I rub the inside of my wrist on my jeans. Fuck, okay—no more thoughts. I will act completely normal unless he implies otherwise.
No one stops me on my way up to Felix’s room, and he pops up off the bed when I enter.
“Hey!” I grimace and shut the door. “What happened to you?!” He approaches me, looking over my body, seemingly content when he sees I’m in one piece. I’m relieved that my crew neck covers Aaron’s mark on my shoulder—that would have been hard tocome back from unscathed. I’ll bandage it later, make up a white lie that I’ll feel like shit about for days.
“Uh, hey. Sorry. I wasn’t feeling good, so I slept in one of Cameron’s spare rooms.” The guilt of lying to him—of not admitting that I was busy coming on his brother—burns in my chest.
“You couldn’t call? Or text?”
“When I woke up my phone was dead.” Another lie. I used my last percent of battery to call Aaron this morning. I didn’t even bother to look at any missed messages or calls.
“Well,” he says, taking a deep breath and sitting back on the bed. “That’s all well enough, then. You were supposed to walk home with me, but luckily Amber was sober by the time we needed to go so she drove. Apparently, my brother was upstairs fucking some girl.”
“Oh.” I try my best to keep all emotion from my face, to not react.
“I’m shocked, I guess he and Amber are off-again. Whatever. He came in at like four in the morning which totally woke me up. Super annoying. He should have just done the walk of shame this fine Saturday morning like all the other hoes at the party.” He’s laughing when he says it. I grimace.
“Yeah, that’s super annoying.”Super fucking annoying, Aaron.What the hell! Something he said catches my attention. “Wait a second. Felix, you said by the timeweneeded to go. Who’s we?” Felix’s eyes widen and his face flushes. Looking away from me, he fidgets.
