Inotice them as soon as they enter the den—solo cups in hand. My baby brother and his friend. My fucking sixteen-year-old brother and his sixteen-year-old friend. How they got invited to this party is beyond me—as far as I know it’s mostly seniors. I guess there isn’t necessarily a bouncer at the door but come on. They’re smarter than this. Felix is dressed like a frat boy, the little twerp. He’s drinking something I assume is awful since he cringes after each sip. It makes me chuckle.
“Aaron, are you listening?”
Next to him, Benjamin drinks from his own cup with not much reaction. He looks—well—he looks like Benjamin. All broad shoulders, ethereal face, and slim waist. His shirt is high-cut to balance out his low-cut jeans, showing everyone his midriff and attracting the attention of every woman and most men around him.
He looks so fucking slutty without even trying. Like a walking porno—just straight-up temptation. Every time he moves the jeans and shirt shift, revealing different parts of his soft stomach. His face is flushed from alcohol and relaxed with a smile—his blond hair a bit longer than it was last year but still just as messy as it frames his face so youthfully. I’ve always been able to acknowledge Benjamin’s beauty—it’s easy when it’s so obvious. But right now, I hate it and how everyone around him is looking at him like he’s a king among peasants.
“Aaron!” I startle—turning to Amber where she stands next to me. “Dude, what’s up?” She follows my line of sight and mutters a small— “Oh, shit.”
I watch Felix say something to Benjamin before he laughs and pushes Fe away. Felix makes his way to a redhead standing at thebottom of the stairs and I turn my attention back to Benjamin. He’s leaning against a table—alone.
“I’m going to go and—” My words die off as some short, big-tit blondie places a hand on Benjamin’s shoulder. His eyes skirt over to where she stands—looking over her slowly, smiling sweetly. What the fuck is this? Amber and I watch this interaction from the other side of the room. We watch as she moves closer and closer, as he laughs and smiles, leaning into her and touching her hips after draining the rest of his cup.
After what feels like way too fucking long, she leans forward, standing between his legs and whispering something in his ear. His eyes widen and his face flushes.
“Oh my God—she had to have said something downright filthy. I think his brain just did a force restart.” Amber laughs.
Before the girl can lean back Benjamin recovers—a cocky grin revealing one dimple and a light blush dusting his cheeks. He stands, leaning down to say something to her before she grabs his hand and pulls him to the stairs.
“It’s happening! Go, Bear!” My hands tighten around my cup. I shouldn’t have drunk so much, but how could I have known he would show up here? I want to grab him and pull him back down the steps. Maybe smack him upside the head.
Does he even know who she is? What if she isn’t clean? Has he even lost his virginity yet? Felix gives Benjamin a discreet high-five as they start up the steps, and the betrayal I feel from my brother is unrealistic and unfair, but I can’t help it.
It’s not like it would be me going up there—even if Ihadgotten to him first. Not only does he hate me ever since I kicked him out of the pool house and then left during the ordeal with his bastard father, but I turned eighteen last month. There’s a six-month period where he’s sixteen and I’m legally an adult. I know there’s a Romeo and Juliet law, but I don’t see everyone around us accepting that. It just wouldn’t work. And as if those two reasons aren’t enough, Felix would probably neuter me.
As he climbs the steps, Irealize that those jeans sit low enough that his back dimples are on full display for everyone in the fucking house to see. I watch them—entranced and so fucking angry. My mouth waters as I remember what he tasted like, how it felt to run my tongue over and into those dimples, the thrill of sucking them against my tongue. It felt like claiming.
God—this fucking sucks. Will he go through with it and fuck her? Will he whimper when he sticks it in? Hold her by her hair as she’s on her knees and force her to take all of him? My fucking chest hurts.
As if Benjamin can feel that I’m thinking of him—that I’m looking—he stops. It takes his searching eyes no time at all to find me. We stare at each other for a moment—him on his step above everyone else—and me looking up at him like he’s something too holy for me to touch—to never touch again. I can see him evaluating what I must be feeling, thinking.
Then—because he’s just that fucking cruel—he slowly gives me the dirtiest grin I’ve ever bore witness to. As if he’s telling me—oh, did you want this too?Then he turns and disappears up the rest of the steps with the blonde.
It only takes around ten seconds for me to down my cup and toss it on the table. He won. I’ll bite. I push past Amber—who now is completely distracted by some girl who’s letting people take shots from between her tits. I have to pass Felix to go up the stairs, and even as I try to keep my head down, he sees me.
“Aaron.” His look is stern.
“What? I need to grab something. Don’t stay out too late.” He stares at me for a moment, but then seems to be relieved, trusting me fully and turning back to his friend. I feel guilt swirl in my stomach. Whatever. That’s a problem for post-cock-block-Benjamin Aaron.
I finish up the stairs and poke my head into a bedroom, but it’s empty. I’m about to move to the next one when I hear a soft moan and light panting as it leaks out from under the bathroomdoor on my right.
I swear to God. My vision tunnels onto the door and before I can even register what exactly I’m doing, I’ve pushed my way into the bathroom in a storm of curses and demands, staring at a livid Benjamin.
He’s trying to fight me, to get me to leave him and this girl alone together but I can’t. I don’t care if I look stupid, or if my flimsy excuse of protecting the sanctity of Cameron’s bathroom falls through. I won’t leave him here knowing someone’s touching him on the other side of the door. Is this how it felt for him back then—when he saw Amber in her underwear in my room? How did he manage to walk away?
Benjamin’s face is red and he looks so angry he might start crying. We’ve been arguing back and forth for a minute now—trading my anger for his and then swapping again. I see the moment he decides to take a real jab at me—the spark of defiance in his eyes—he’s out for blood. I ready myself for whatever he plans to throw my way.
“Why? What’s the deal, Aaron? Are you tallying? Still keeping track of how many people are dropping onto their knees in front of me?” For a moment everything around me is quiet and I can’t think a single thought. I’m so far removed from my own body—as if it’s protecting itself from this boy and his cruelty. I’m in the pool house, staring at Benjamin naked and trembling under my hands as I ask him—
“How many other people have touched you? Huh? How many girls from school have gotten on their knees for you?”
As if the sole purpose of air entering my lungs is for him to torture me, feeling recenters in my chest and that hurt, that anger fills me. My eyes narrow. Yeah? Is this how we’ll play, Button? I can feel the smile take over my lips and I doubt it is pleasant.
The girl pulls at Benjamin’s arm for the second time now, calling out to him. He sighs—turning to her—reaching out to rub her hip and cradle her face like shemeanssomething.
“Wanna play a game with me? Let’s play hide and seek.” She giggles—she likes that. What the fuck is he doing?
“Hide and seek?” She asks, her innocent act so thick and obvious it’s making me fucking sick. If he doesn’t see it, then he’s stupid.
