“I know walking alone feels sad and embarrassing for you, but it shouldn’t. This moment—this day where you lay claim to your future, your happiness—youdeserveto walk it alone. You deserve to walk that aisle, all eyes on you, showing every single person here that you did that. You alone survived all of it, found happiness. And you’ll be showing it to your new family who loves you.”
I can’t seem to stop the emotion building and spilling out of me. I’m fighting against sobs and gripping his sleeves, barely able to see him through the water in my eyes. He cups my face, rubs histhumbs over my eyelids so I can see him. Greg is smiling at me so softly.
“I—You don’t understand what that—what this means to me. How this changes everything.” I’m not sure if he understands me, what I’m trying to tell him. But he did—he changed my entire perspective. Walking that aisle doesn’t have to be the tradition ofgiving the bride away. It will be my own moment—this ismyhappiest day of my life.
“Dry your tears, Bear—it’s time to marry my son.” He’s grinning at me, only turning around and leaving once I nod and turn back to the mirror to fix my face.
He’s right—everything is fine. At the end of the day my love for Aaron trumps everything else anyway; I doubt I could have made it very far even if I did run. Maybe the front steps? Two feet outside of this room? I would have ended up at that altar one way or another.
I stand at the doors—can hear the voices on the other side. After making sure my face looked normal, not red or swollen, I found my way here. It’s time. The wedding party has already walked—they’ve been waiting for me. Of course this just makes my entrance that much more dramatic. Not intentional but definitely a Benjamin move.
I signal the wedding planner who speaks into a walkie. Music begins to play—soft instrumental I’m not familiar with but sounds light and innocent. The doors open.
The aisle is directly in front of me—all of the guests standing and turning to watch me as I stand there. The ceremony is quite beautiful, and the day is bright but not too hot. Everything is set up so nicely for a wedding. But all I can see—all I can focus on—is Aaron.
Aaron wears a standard black tuxedo as most grooms do, accents of oranges and pinks to follow our sunset theme. His hair is styled just a bit, taming the curls but thankfully not gelling them down. He stands with his hands clasped in front of him—staring at Felix nervously where he stands on the bride’s side.
When the door opens his head snaps to me—his hands falling to his sides—eyes widening as he takes a step forward. Right as he’s about to step right off the platform Amber grabs him, whispering in his ear. I assume she’s most likely yelling at him—telling him that he can’t justleavehis spot to come see me. All the while his eyes never leave me.
All that stress over walking alone and what I could offer him—all the revolutionary self-discovery in reclaiming this moment as my own—disappears. This walk—this stretch of time between here and there—is about one thing. Getting to Aaron. Marrying him, loving him. For the rest of my life. It never was anything else, nothing else ever mattered.
I begin to walk. Guests watch me and I hear a few sniffles. Aaron’s crying. Just like his brother (the Archer boys are so sensitive) he cries more and more as I close in. He’s looking at me like I’m not real—like he’s dreaming.
When I’m a few feet away he walks right off the platform, making Amber groan. Aaron reaches me in one stride—cups my face—searches my eyes. Then grabs my hand to damn near drag me up to the officiant. Everyone begins to laugh—but Aaron is not joking around. He’s readynow.
I catch Felix’s eye—smile at him as he tears up—as he blows a kiss at me.
“It’s a pleasure to see you again, Archer family.” The officiant begins. He married Felix and Kayla as well. “It’s an honor to be a part of this momentous occasion as you invite another beautiful soul into your lot—binding two into one. Thank you all for coming, thank you for traveling as far as you did. Aaron and Benjamin appreciate you. Now—shall we begin?”
This part is another part that is embarrassing for me—but it matters less and less the longer I stare at Aaron—the longer he holds my hands against his chest and searches my eyes, my soul.
“Aaron, I ask you here today—do you take Benjamin to be your lawfully weddedhusband—”
“I do.” The officiant barely even gets the whole sentence out. If it was legally binding to snap his fingers and marry us, I think he’d prefer that. The crowd chuckles softly and Amber rolls her eyes.
“Haha, okay. And Benjamin, I askyouhere today—do you take Aaron to be your lawfully wedded husband?” Aaron’s squeezing my hands so hard—as if I’d ever in a million years answer that question withno.
“I do.” He’s grinning, essentially vibrating where he stands.
“Wonderful. Would you like to share your vows, Aaron?”Aaron finally let’s go of me and Amber hands him a sheet of paper. He unfolds it, looks it over, and looks back to me. The slight breeze—the floral scent in the air—my future right in front of me. It’s all so much.
“Button—” I’m already crying. I have no fucking idea what this man will say to me and I’m crying right here in front of everybody. “When I was seventeen years old, I watched you lay in the grass and eat a snow cone in the middle of summer. I wasterrifiedof you. The power you already had over me when you hadn’t even glanced at me in such a way. I knew then—you were something important to me. I have loved you for longer than even I knew—for so long now that I don’t remember a time that I looked at you and I didn’t feel this warmth—this overwhelming need to protect you—to keep you.”
I feel the burn of his skin on mine as he cups my cheek—collects my tears. As he stares down at me like I’m the last thing in this world left to cherish.
“I will die happy knowing I’ve spent every day of my life watching over you, holding you. I am so infatuated with you—I’ve always been so fucking fixated. This obsession has fought over a decade of time, and it still feels like that first moment. That first moment there on the grass where I thought to myself—I just have to have him. You are my entire reason, my purpose in this life. You will be my husband—you will father my children—you will die right beside me. It’s what you were born to do. It’s fate.” Aaron’s monologue comes to a loud finishin the silent field. Nobody moves—nobody speaks.
I feel like he’s confessed to me for the first time all over again. Like he’s in his bedroom in Lancaster telling me he’s at my mercy—crying on his knees.
“That was beautiful.” The officiant eventually says—gentle and slow. Aaron slowly takes his hand off of me, steps back. He’s giving me the floor. I wish he’d touch me again. “Benjamin?”
I don’t have a paper; I just have my thoughts. And oh man—do I have so many. I stare at Aaron—I take him in—I watch his eyes water as he looks me up and down again, as he breathes deeply and steadies himself against the reality he’s in. Slowly, I reach out my hand and place it gently over his heart, watching as his eyes widen.
“You are happiness, Aaron Archer. You are every hope I’ve ever dared to have—every dream—every prayer.” He gasps in a breath, trying his best not to outright sob in my face. “I live for you. My voice when I speak—my heart when it beats—my eyes when they open. It’s all for you—in your honor, for your fulfillment. There is nothing that I do that is not intended for you. Little Blue Bird, I worship you. My entire life is yours. I love you so much—so much so that my entire world rests in your hands, at your discretion. Love me, protect me—let me live for you. Give me life.” I grin up at him through my tears, hand gripping his suit jacket. “Let’s do it, baby. You and me. Forever.”
“The exchanging of rings.” The officiant is wiping away a stray tear as he waves forward Aaron’s little cousin who is our acting ring bearer. The addition to my engagement ring is beautiful, the ring to complete my set. Aaron slips it onto my finger—kisses them both—kisses my palm. His ring is a gold band with a B engraved into it and once he has it on his finger everything settles for me—becomes more real. I can’t stop the tears, the emotion building inside of me.
“These rings exchanged today will signify the commitments made here, the loyalty you share. Remember these vows as you go off into the world and be happy. Now—by the powerinvested in me by the state of Arizona—I now pronounce you Mr. and Mr. Archer. You may kiss your husband!”
