“What?”
“I never felt connected to him. Never felt completely full. It was just… sex. That’s why I was so sad, so regretful that it hadn’t been you. Because I knew if it had—” He hiccups. “It would have been something completely different. So, no—I didn’t understand—didn’t know. Not until that hotel room where I devoted the rest of my life to worshipping you.”
I shove his face into my neck, feeling him wrap his arms around me. I rub his back—feel him shudder away the cries—calming himself—calming me.
“I’m not upset with you at all—in case you’re thinking that. You didn’t do anything wrong. I just… it felt nice to say it out loud.” Benjamin nods against me, squeezing me tighter.
“I love you so much. I’ve always loved you—even when I shouldn’t have.” He says to my neck and I kiss his head—pulling him closer—not a breath of space between us.
“I love you too, baby.”
“Amber’s here!” Felix yells out the back door—waving at us before disappearing.
“Shall we?”
I wipe his face, take his hand, and walk us inside.
Amber is in the den in a burnt-orange, ankle-length dress. It flows around her as she runs to me, pulling me into a big hug.
“A! I missed you these past few days. How’s the new house?”
“THE WHAT?” Tina comes rushing into the room—blazing glare already set on me.
“Way to go, Amber.” She shrugs, taking a seat next to a girl on the couch who I’m assuming came with her. “Mom—I recently rented a two-bedroom house for me and Benjamin to live in now that my lease is up.” I watch my mother take a deep breath—run a hand through her long black curls.
“Aaron.” Oh, fuck. “You know what? All of you—come here.” Benjamin, Amber, Fe, and Kayla follow me to stand in front of my mom—heads bowed. Dad is standing in the doorway eating a piece of pumpkin pie.
“Mom—”
“Who knew? About this house?” Everyone raises their hand and she sighs a heavy, disappointed sigh. “You’re all getting slapped.” She delivers a slap on the back of each of our heads and Amber glares at me.
“Great—I’ve earned my first Tina slap. I had a record going.”
“Well, I feel very included right now.” Kayla grins.
“I never thought building a future would earn me so much suffering.” Benjamin jokes and Mom rolls her eyes.
“Any more surprises? Any othermajor life events you are keeping me out of the loop of as if I didn’t raise you three boys?” I watch Benjamin flush red at being included in her questioning—being included as family.
“No.” I mumble—watching as she pins me with another glare before moving on to Benjamin.
“Bear—I can’t believe you’d forget to tell me something so exciting! You always fill me in on Aaron when I call!” I hear his little gasp—watching as he inches away from me. I grab the collar of his button-up, dragging him back.
“Woah, woah. Button—are you a spy for my mother?” He sputters—looking for words as he stares up at me, hands raised defensively.
“No! We talk on the phone sometimes and you know—you never tell her stuff. So, I’ll tell her how great you’re doing. See? Innocent.” I don’t look away, keep him pinned. “Ugh—okay fine. Sometimes when you piss me off, I call her and she tells me embarrassing baby stories to make me laugh.” I gasp.
“What?! That’s betrayal, Benjamin.” He scoffs.
“Would you rather I was shit-talking you?”
“Uh, yeah, kinda.” The rest of the family is laughing at our little spectacle, and Mom chooses now to chime in.
“Leave him be, Little Bird. Even when he calls all mad, he’s still all lovey-dovey about you—it’s quite adorable.” Benjamin flushes in my grip.
“Tina—come on girl.” He says under his breath.
“Family—if I could take this convo away from Aaron’s disgustingly cute relationship. I’d like to make an introduction.” The girl on the couch stands next to Amber and I realize she’s the same girl we saw with Amber at Felix’s wedding.
