“Nope.” He shakes his head. “See there? Their arms are touching. That makes the Darian side off-limits too.” Everyone but Cammie is losing it at this point.
“Blow out the candles!” Angie yells.
I lean over Benjamin’s shoulder and whisper into his ear— “Don’t forget to make a wish.”
He pauses and turns to meet my eyes. The green is so bright tonight, and he looks so fucking happy with those dimples—with that sun smile.
“I don’t have one anymore.” This time I blush.
“Great—let me use it. I wish for cake!” Cammie yells and Benjamin laughs, blowing out the candles.
Amber comes back in with her cake box—having left at some point. “Hold your clit girl, I have you covered.”
“I’m sorry—my what?” Cammie looks incredibly confused and I’m not that far behind her on thewhat-the-fucktrain. The cake box opens and it’s a standard-sized cake with chocolate frosting. On the top in neat, white letters someone has written—
You are stronger than the thingsin life that hurt you
I hear Benjamin’s breath catch and I remember what he always used to say—his motto:all things in my life must hurt me at least once.
Did she know? He’s trembling beneath my hands as they rest on his hips. Everyone in the room can sense this is some kind of pivotal moment for him, something that marks the beginning of a different leg of his journey. Of healing. He looks at Amber.
“Cutie Bear. I’ve known you since you were a ridiculously beautiful sixteen-year-old and Aaron wouldn’t stop having wet dreams over you.”
“Hey!” I protest.
“You are so much stronger than you let your mind convince you you are. I have never seen or heard of a single person go through everything you have—let alone push through it still looking likethatwhencoming out the other side.” Benjamin gives a laugh that sounds a bit like a sob. “We all love you. And I’ve loved watching you grow. I’ll always regret what I said to you that day at the hospital. I promise not to bully your boyfriend too much in return.” Amber grins at me—then turns a soft smile back to Benjamin. “Happy birthday, Cutie Bear.”
He runs to her—giving her a ridiculously big hug that makes a breath audibly leave her lungs.
“You’re still 5’11! I’m not Aaron!” She yells and he pulls away from her, smiling down at her.
“Sorry—your attitude makes you seem way taller than you are.”
“Motherfucker! Give my cake back.”
“No!” Cammie screams—already cutting into it. Benjamin returns to me quickly. I kiss his forehead and wrap an arm around his waist, the two of us watching our friends bicker over Amber’s cake.
“Yours is red velvet.” I say and he turns to look up at me.
“Really? That’s my favorite.” I shake my head at him.
“Yeah—I know. You told me.” He doesn’t remember. He looks confused. “At the river, back in 2017. You told me you liked baking in the sun like a red velvet cake because it’s your favorite.” Iremind him and he turns fully toward me, head slightly tilted, a curious and pleased look on his face.
“You remember that?” I nod, trying to hide my grin.
“Of course I do. You were laying there in those tiny shorts all sweaty, flashing me those dimples and putting my finger in your mouth.” He flushes. “I remember every second of that day.”
“I remember that part.” He mumbles, looking away from me, embarrassed.
“You perv.” I kiss his temple.
“Can I interrupt?” It’s Felix.
“Be my guest.” They walk a couple feet away and I can see Felix’s face—but Benjamin has his back to me. I can imagine they’re having a moment like the one Amber and him had over the cake. It’s just more… personal. Best friends for over a decade—sharing the same bed, the same chairs, the same food. They were one person.
I can see it there on Felix’s face. He looks as if he’s tearing out a piece of himself and setting it free—like he’s losing Benjamin. Felix reaches out and wipes at Benjamin’s cheeks which tells me he’s crying. So, Fe cries too.
Benjamin is nodding furiously—pulling Felix against him so tightly his eyes widen for a moment before he grabs him back—eyes closed, soaking it in. When they pull back, Felix kisses Benjamin on the forehead, then the top of his head.I love you.I read it on his lips as he says it and my heart warms, aches. I think back to when all of this started—when it was only a normal day if they were laid on top of each other—sharing the same breath, living in the same little piece of this world. They walk back over to me.
