“Button.” He prompts from where he sits on the bed. “Look at me when I talk to you, please.” I’m avoiding looking at him—he’ll see it.
“But I’msuperconcentrated, it’ll ruin my flow.” I’m almost back into the safety of the closet when—
“Benjamin. Come here. Now.” Head bowed, I make my way to him. Motherfucker—always able to bend me to his will. “Look at me.” So I do.
He’s searching my face—grabbing my hips and bringing me closer to him. There’s a soft, loving look in his eyes that I’m still not completely used to, that makes me shiver.
“What?” I ask—trying to sound super casual.
“You’re nervous.”
“I hate you.” He laughs, pulling me to make me sit on his thigh.
“Don’t be. It’s just a bunch of college nerds who like books and drinking wine.” Aaron’s rubbing my back with one hand—touching me literally everywhere else he can reach with his other.
“But what if they’re like—super bougee and I’m me?”
“Benjamin. For one—you’re the best dressed anywhere you go. Everyone probably looks at you and goesshit—this guy’s totally looking down on us and our ugly shoes.” I laugh, shoving his shoulder softly. “For two—being you automatically makes you better than all of them so I’m really not seeing the issue here.”
I stare into his eyes—watch his lips curve into a soft smile, feel him press my cheeks in—searching for my dimples. I shove my face into the crook of his neck.
“Okay. Then I’ll go and pretend I’m better than all of them and give everyone mean, snobby glares.” Aaron chuckles, wrapping both arms around me and squeezing.
“That’s my boy.”
As we arrive at the party later in the evening, I make sure to tell Aaron he’s a liar at least three times.
“It wasn’t this big last year—I promise!” He’s staring at the location he was given in confusion. Not in charge of planning this year—he was given an address and told to show up. It looks like a small frat party—not a nerd party.
“Let’s check it out and see, then.” I say, because he’s been excited all day and even wore the dress pants and silk blue button-up I picked out for him. He looks like a hot mobster with his dark hair and green eyes. I went for a very casual look. High-waisted white dress pants that flare a bit at the bottom with a flowy blue top tucked into them—making the shirt puff out a little like I’m David fucking Bowie. Super casual. I also like that Aaron and I are wearing different shades of blue—likeboyfriends.
“Okay.” He says—a bit disappointed. He grabs my hand and pulls me toward the house. To be fair—it’s not some rager. But it’s definitely a shit ton more people than expected and they’re not just drinking wine. But other than that, people are still mingling and talking about their favorite works and their conspiracy theories.
“Good?” I ask Aaron and he shrugs.
“It’s fine—we can stay.” With the Aaron stamp of approval, we start mingling. I grab a glass of wine from the hired server walking by. Who the hell hireshelpfor a club orientation party?
Aaron is next to me—chatting with some super-tall guy in glasses. I take small sips of my wine and pretend I’m totallysupposed to be here. My stomach feels queasy.Dread. I look up at Aaron and he’s laughing—smiling like he’s got no worries in the world. Well, I can tell him about my intuition when we leave.
“Aaron—Ihaveto show you the original copy of Macbeth that they have in the kitchen.” Aaron looks down at me, asking me to come, but I wave him on.
“Go have fun—I’ll mingle.” He stares at me for a moment before kissing me softly and following his friend into the kitchen.
The house isn’t huge—but it is decently big. There are all types of people here, I notice as I slip through the different crowds—finishing off my wine. I set the glass on a random table and keep exploring. I find a hallway toward the other end of what I’m assuming is the living room and find picture frames hanging all about.
It’s of a happy family of three—growing together throughout the years and I can’t help but follow their journey through photographs. The little girl looks so happy—so loved. Her parents look so kind. I see her posing with her middle-school talent-show trophy and grin a bit. What an outgoing kid she must have been. I watch as the family gets older and older until I reach about halfway down the hallway.
One of the last photos is most likely a current one. The dad has graying hairs and the mom has smile lines to show the years of happiness. And the sweet daughter she... she… God, my stomach hurts. And my head. I’m so fucking dizzy, it’s incredibly hot in here. I look back to the picture after blinking a few times—trying to get this dizziness to fade. That’s some strong-ass wine.
The daughter—she’s grown now. Probably college age. Long pretty hair—big brown eyes, a wide smile and a… a lip ring… a—oh fuck. Oh God. I’m inside that lava lamp again, my limbs are turning to lead.It’s happening again—and I’m in her house.
Aaron—I have to get to Aaron. But I’m so far down the hallway and my feet are so heavy. I see a door and open it. An empty bedroom—perfect. I go in and shut the door, sitting on the bed and pulling my phone out while my hands still work.
Ring—ring—ring—ring—Aaron Archer—leave a message.Beep
Again—
Ring—ring—ring—ring—Aaron Archer—leave a message.Beep
