Top 3
;)
April is one of my favorite months. Spring is in full swing—or as spring as Arizona will get—so walking outside is nice. I’m walking across campus to Brews, where I now work, trying to talk Aaron off of a ledge.
“I’m starting my shift in like ten minutes.”
“When do you get off?” His voice sounds muffled, like he’s holding the phone with his shoulder. “I’ll come get you.” Oh—here we go.
“Somewhere around 8ish.”
“Around?”
“Oh my God, Aaron—yes. We’ve been here before. Whenever Erika comes in, I can go, that’s how this job works.” He scoffs.
“Well, that’s just ridiculous. I’ll be there at eight and if you’re later than ten minutes over I get to fuck you in the kitchen.”Oh, lord.
“You’re insufferable—but okay. I love you.”
“Love you.” I hang up, sliding my phone into my pocket.
Aaron has had a weird obsession with fucking me in every room in his apartment, but I’ve refused the kitchen because we literally cook in there. He knows I’ll cave eventually. I do too, to be fair. It’s kind of funny—staring at Aaron’s face when Felix comes over and sits on the couch a day or two after we’ve fucked on it. It doesn’t matter that it’s been sanitized—Aaron isconvincedhe’ll know. Brotherly intuition or something?
Felix was really happy when I told him I was going to demand answers from Aaron that night in February. I didn’t know he blamed himself—I didn’t know he’d be slowly falling apart while I’d been putting myself back together.
He looked miserable. His black curls a mess—his green eyes vacant and red. I could tell he’d barely been eating by the muscle mass he was losing and there were black circles under his eyes. It was bad enough that he thought he was dreaming, hallucinating. He wanted to see me so badly—to be with me—that he figured his own mind would manifest me in such a way. Aaron looked so hopelessly in love—so hopelessly heartbroken. And he really thought it was all his fault. My poor little blue bird.
I—on the other hand—thought he had changed his mind. He got that call, sat in that hospital and saidnope. I was devastated, cursed his name, told Felix his brother was a heartless monster. He just held me—the same he did when I was released—running up to me like long-lost lovers.
I tried to apologize—to beg Felix to forgive me for what he saw—what he’s dealt with, but he wouldn’t let me. He still won’t. Amber was there too, apologizing. She didn’t know about the party—she didn’t know about the drugs or the cheating. She didn’t know a lot of things and took her fear and anger out on me.
The institute itself wasn’t too bad. I went for self-harm and drug abuse, so I hada lotof meetings, round-the-clock surveillance and some interesting medicine that I no longer take. Really the only thing it did for me was pull me out of the hole. Now I can look back and see how terrible things were—and how that sadness isstill in me. But this time I won’t let it spiral there again. I won’t plan my suicide; I won’t start taking drugs again and sleeping around. I have great friends and the Archer parents are amazing.
And Aaron. Who loves me. Somehow—after all of this time—the cycle has come to an end.
Felix kicked Drew out of the band once Aaron ratted him out while I was admitted. To be fair, Aaron didn’tknowhe was ratting Drew out, but Aaron was so happy that he laughed right in Drew’s face and then dared him to hit him. My little blue bird loves throwing fists on my behalf. God—it makes me hard.
Brews only has a couple of customers at the moment. I put my bag in the back and put my apron on, coming to the front to relieve one of my coworkers. I only work four hours today and I don’t have to walk home anymore so that’s great. Felix hired a bassist to replace Drew—her first live show with us is tomorrow night and I need a good night’s rest to prepare.
Now that I’m not fucked up all the time it’s a bit scary being the lead singer of a decently popular local band. It takes a minute or two but once we get going, I’m perfectly fine. It’s the getting up there that I struggle with.
I’m excited to see how the bassist works with our flow on stage.
As if thinking of the bass summons fuckwads who play them—Drew walks into the café with his backpack, his eyes glued to his phone.Fucking great.Aaron’s going to be a total prick when he hears about this.
Drew gets to the counter and puts his phone down.
“Hi! Can I g—Benjamin?” He looks shocked—looking around the room nervously. Most likely for Aaron.
“What can I get for you?” My voice clearly says go fuck yourself, but he doesn’t leave. His hair is a bit longer now, I notice.
“How have you been? Are you still in Phoebe?” I stare at him—unimpressed and uninterested. Can this guy fuck off? “Listen—I know you hate me but let me say this and I’ll turn around and find a new café to frequent.”
“Fine.” I cross my arms, giving him the floor. Then he can getoffmy floor and the hell away from me.
“Be careful. Aaron is… he’s a scary guy. Violent. He hit me a few times and threatened to kill me. I just don’t want to see you get hurt by him again. He’s dangerous.” Oh, brother. His nerve is outstanding. I stare at him for a moment. Then—with a very serious, very considering look—I respond.
“Okay. Thank you. I’ll mention this to him tonight when he’s fucking me. Have a good day,Soma.” His smile falls—replaced with disgust.
