I put him on my tonguetoward the end of his orgasm to taste him—moaning and sucking away at his tip trying to get more. He’s pushing my head desperately. “Please—please stop—fuck—ugh.” I let him go and catch him when he starts sinking to the floor.
“Yeah?” I ask—laughing at him, now holding him in my lap.
“Fuck you. Torture.” Then he looks up at me. “I see now why you like to punish me.”
“Mhm—shower.”
I catch our reflection in the mirror as we head to the tub and I smile. I guess I’m not waking up.
After our shower, I sit on the couch while Benjamin sits in front of me on the floor ordering food for us. I’m drying his hair with a towel—done avoiding the conversation I know we need to have. I put the towel down next to me.
“Benjamin.”
“Hmm?”
“Why did you leave that night?” Benjamin freezes—doesn’t even breathe. “What did I do? I had thought… I thought everything was okay.” It’s silent for a minute as I give him space to think—to calm himself.
“You didn’t do anything. But… I had a plan and hurting you wasn’t a part of it. So, I had to leave before you loved me any more. Before you got more wrapped up in me.” A plan?
“It’s been a decade—” I laugh. “I don’t think I can get more wrapped up—”
“I planned on killing myself after college.” Silence. “I just had to make it until then. I was going to move out of mine and Fe’s apartment at the end of the lease and put space between us. I didn’t want… I didn’t want either of you to suffer because of my death. Or any other shitty things that’ll happen in my life between then and now.”
“If you thought not talking to me fortwo yearswas going to stop me from suffering after your death then you’re an idiot.” He turns to look up at me—to see myanger.
“I know. I’m sorry. I just couldn’t… I couldn’t do it anymore. I still can’t sometimes. But now—” He takes a deep breath. “I love you, Aaron. So I think it’ll be okay.”
“Oh, Button.” I lean down and kiss him—soft and sweet. “I love you so much.” I whisper against his mouth.
“I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with crazy shit for so long because of me.” I pull back to look into those hazel eyes. “I’m sorry I was selfish. Trying to leave you guys.”
“I want you forever.” Is all I say because I don’t know how to respond to that. Benjamin smiles, he nods. “Can we… Will you stay with me? Will you be my boyfriend?” His eyes grow wide—mouth opening and shutting repeatedly. “If it’s too soon, I—”
“Yes. Yes, I will.” Benjamin’s smiling now—one of those ridiculous sun smiles, so I yank him into my lap and I kiss him.
This time I hope he isn’t lying. I hope he stays. I hope my love really is enough to keep him alive.
Chapter Thirty One
April 2021
Benjamin
New Messages: Cult Cuties
Jenna
was aaron and bear finally getting it on on your 2021 bingo card?cuz it was on my 2022
Amber
i was banking on 2018 but aaron is stupid
Top 3
f u
Cammie
