“One more time, Button. Come on it one more time. I need it. I need it so badly.” He’s arching again, whining and clawing at my hands. “I can feel it—I can feel you about to come, baby. It’s gonna feel so good. Fuck—yes—you’re squeezing so tight.”
“I-I I think I’m gonna come.” He cries, trying to look at me but failing as his eyes unfocus.
“That’s right, baby. Come on me. Offer it to me—praise your God.”
“Fuck, thank you—thank you.” He’s coming so hard—squeezing me so tightit almost hurts. I put an arm under him and snatch him up, sitting back on my heels. “Aaron—aw fuck—oh God.”
I think he might still be coming when I have him sitting on my dick—feet on the bed. With one arm around his waist and the other up his back and clasped over his shoulder I fuck up into him. Hard—fast, needy. I can hear how I sound—how out of control and desperate I am. I just can’t stop it.
“Benjamin…Please…Fuck—you feel so good—never leave me again… You’re so tight, I want to be deeper in you.Ughh ah… I love you so much, baby—so fucking much.” Now that I’ve let myself confess, I can’t seem to stop telling him. Benjamin has his arms over my shoulders, head resting there. “I can’t…Hnghh…I can’t be without you again.”
He pulls back enough to see me—watching my face as I pant—as I thrust into him like I’ll die without it. Sweat rolls down my face, my eyes half open as I stare back at him.
“I don’t deserve you.” He says, brushing the sweat from my face as I moan into his hand. “I don’t deserve you, but I love you so much that I’m selfish enough to take you anyway.”
“Ahhh—ughh… baby…”
“Come in me, Aaron.” I can feel my balls tightening—I can feel the pleasure coiling tighter and tighter. I move my hand to hold the back of his neck. Grip him to keep him in place—feel the raised skin of my scar. I’m looking at his face, watching every little twitch. He’s overstimulated—taking it over and over and still he clings to me—squeezes me tighter.
He places a hand over the spot between his hips and presses onto it, groaning.
“Aaron, come in me. You’re so deep—come this deep in me.”
“Ughhh…Benjamin…”
I’m coming so hard I think I might be passing out. Benjamin’s talking me through it—telling me he loves me and that it’s okay. I fuck into him until my vision comes back, until I can see his face. He’s smiling at me like he’s proud, like he’s so fuckinghappy.
“Hi.” He says and it’s making me smile—his softness. Only—I’ve barely slept or eaten and just fucked the life out of myself—so I’m genuinely passing out.
“Hi, baby.” Then my vision is gone and I’m out.
???
I can smell him—this I know. The soft citrus, the way the air around him feels warm like he’s a walking drop of sunlight. I can feel his hands in my hair—I can hear the hum of his voice as he sings. I think my head might be on his lap.
But there is a chance this is a dream. That him being here in the first place was all an elaborate dreamscape my mind created due to the pain and the exhaustion. How long have I been asleep?
His soft fingers are brushing my face, my eyebrows, then back to my hair again. I’ll just listen then. Live here a bit longer. He begins to quietly sing a new song—the vibration of his voice moving through me. I recognize it— "Iris" by The Goo Goo Dolls.
I open my eyes—I have to know. Is this real? How much torture can I take? But when I open them, I’m staring at my own black T-shirt. Pain strikes through me, suffocates me, makes me fucking sick with its grip around my hea—
“Little Blue Bird.” My head snaps up. My own shirt onBenjamin’s body. His fingers push back my hair again. “Hi.”
The sigh of relief that leaves me is ridiculous and embarrassing—but whatever. He’s leaning against the headboard, resting my head on his crossed legs. Smiling down at me like he’s done this a million times and isn’t worried he won’t have the chance again.
“Hi, Button.” Leaning down, Benjamin kisses me softly. Then my forehead—nose, both eyelids, the top of my head. “I’m scared I’ll wake up at any second.” He chuckles.
“If you do—then I’ll follow you there too. If this world isn’t real, we can find one that is.” I roll off of his lap and then grab him, pulling him to lay on top of me as he giggles.
“Ah, Benjamin. What time is it anyway?”
“7 A.M.”
“What?!” I slept through the entire night, leaving him to fend for himself.
“Yep. I went ahead and showered and cleaned you up a bit. I ate a snack because I wasstarving. Then I just came in here and slept with you.” Of course he would. Of course he would just exist so easily in my space—the space meant for him anyway.
“Making yourself at home, huh?” I look down to where his chin is resting on my chest to stare up at me—hazel eyes so clear, so alert.
