“Look at me. What have you thought about?” It might be unfair to make him look me in the eye while he says whatever he wants my forgiveness for but I just can’t help myself.
“You. Didn’t matter how. Naked—fucking me, touching me, kissing me, whispering in my ear. It didn’t matter. It was you—and it was pleasure.” He looks so pent-up and so guilty. “I thought about it at night—around Felix, in front of you…. Even when I was with Drew. And I hate myself for it. I can’t stop. It’s like a drug.”
I don’t know what face I’m making, what he’s perceiving from me. But I swear I can see every dirty little thing he’s thought about me flashing in his eyes.
“That’s why you won’t let Drew call you baby?” He nods.
“It’s yours. It would only make me think of you again.”Jesus. “And then I realized you had marked me—and game over, I guess. I’ll never stop thinking about it. If you’re right—if no one else in my entire life will make me feel this type of pleasure—then you really are my God. I’ll have devoted my life to you in one way or another, carrying your mark, always thinking of you. It won’t matter if I’m married or if you’ve sent me away. I can’t erase you now.”
I want to tell him I love him. I want to tell him right in this second and then fuck him so hard he forgets. But I can’t break the spell—the trance we’re in, the perfect moment of confession.
“So,” he continues. “I guess now I ask for redemption. My darling God—I have nothing else to believe in. This is my last thread of hope. Please know I’m not a very good person. Please keep me anyway.” The heat never leaves his eyes—like the act of begging for my forgiveness turns him on even more.
“Keep you?” I need clarification.
“It doesn’t matter how. Just don’t leave. Touch me—stay near me, let me believe in you.”
“What if I’m not a very nice god?” I ask him.
“You’re a possessive, sensitive, jealous god. But you’re not mean. Not to me.”
Benjamin is on his knees—asking me to let him believe in me for the rest of his life. For me to stay by his side in whichever way I choose, to touch him. If I tell him no—if I refuse—I’d be just as stupid as high-school Aaron. I lean off the wall and walk until I stand right in front of him. His eyes never leave me.
Undoing my jeans and pulling out my entirely too-hard cock, I stare into those eyes. Those needy—devoted, enamored eyes.
“Then pray.”
It takes Benjamin two seconds to have a hand wrapped around the base and one more to have the tip in his mouth—tongue lapping for a taste. I still haven’t given him permission to look away. His mouth is so wet and warm—so familiar to me and yet absolutely overwhelming. His hand moves to stroke what he can’t take—my head hitting the back of his throat as he sucks and licks different patterns on the shaft. He fucking loves it—I can see it on his face.
He sucks down again and I grab a fistful of his hair, prompting him to take me deeper. When he chokes on it, he groans loudly, eyes unfocusing, crossing just slightly for a moment. He’s squeezing his thighs together.
“Good job, baby.Ahh—that’s so good.” He’s whining and trembling but it’s not long before he places both hands on my thighs and stops.
He’s waiting for something. I’m not entirely sure what he wants—and then I remember the party at Cam’s where he gripped my thighs, and I fucked his mouth like I wanted to suffocate him. It was a punishment—and he’saskingfor it.
“You’re a little masochist, aren’t you? You want me to fuck your mouth?” Benjamin hums—sending vibrations up my cock, staring up at me so sweetly. “Okay, kitten. I’ll give you what you want.” I pull out of his mouth for a moment to prepare myself.
“Oh God, Aaron—when you call me that I—” I’m shoving back into his mouth, watching his eyes fly wide open and the drool push out frombetween my dick and his mouth.
“Two taps mean you’re done.” I remind him. “Damn—you look so good like this. Fuck. Did he ever have your mouth like this? Did he get to see what I’m seeing?”
With much effort Benjamin blinks twice—signal forno.
“Ah—fuck, Benjamin—no one else. No one else better see your face getting fucked. You’re too pretty.” He blinks once—gagging as I speed up, using a hand gripping his hair as my leverage. He’s gagging every time I thrust now, and I watch his little earrings as they sparkle in the hotel-room lights, how much prettier they make this scene.
“I’m going to make you choke on it—then you’re going to get your cute little ass on the bed—got it?” One blink.
I shove as far as my body allows, ignoring his gags, feeling his throat constrict over and over. I stay there, watching him redden as I cut off his airflow.
“Fuck—fuck, fuck—kitten this is what it’s like when I have your life in my hands. You better thank your lucky stars I’m not a malevolent god.” I pull out, letting him cough, breathe, gather himself. And I almost came—which can’t happen or I’ll die.
“Thank you.” He coughs, hands on my thighs, spit dripping out of his pink, puffy mouth. His whole face is soaked. “Thank you.”
He’s actually thanking me for almost suffocating him—kinky bastard. I bend over and kiss him, stick my tongue in his mouth and taste myself.
Except I have no self-control so as soon as I taste it, I’m pulling him up onto me, forcing him to lock his legs around my waist. He doesn’t hesitate, doesn’t flinch. Full faith I would never drop him, never bump him, never hurt him in any way. God—I’m so fucking hard.
I crawl to the center of the bed, laying him down gently before lying on top of him. He’s still fully clothed, but we’ll fix that.
