‘You’re sorry you kissed me?’ I asked, more disappointed than I was ready to admit.
‘No,’ he replied at once. ‘But I am sorry I crossed a boundary without asking.’
‘Oh,’ I sank back down into the depths of my desire, aching and raw, and suddenly I was too far adrift to drag myself back to shore. ‘Then perhaps we should redefine our boundaries. Just so we’re both clear.’
Slowly, I stood. Slowly, I walked over to where he was. It was me who positioned myself in front of him. I was the one who rested my hands against his chest. I was the one who held his heavy gaze.
‘Is this OK?’ I asked when his lips parted in a silent question.
‘Yes.’
The word was barely a whisper but his body screamed its consent, leaning into me as my palms ran lightly over his shirt, stroking first the soft cotton fabric then pressing harder to find the solid body beneath. Callum gasped under my touch.
‘Is this OK?’ I asked again, my eyes still on his when I slid one hand up to his collar, my fingers toying with the open buttons at his throat.
This time, he only nodded.
With his permission, I traced his magnificent jawline, like he was a sculpture made of marble. His scruff was coming through a few shades darker than the deep russet of his hair, contrasting against his pale skin even in the low light of my room, and it scratched against my skin. We both shivered. Following the line upwards, I tiptoed my fingers along his face until I found the top of his cheekbone and rested the palm of my hand flat against it. He looked down at me, mesmerised.
‘What about this?’ I asked, taking a half-step into him and he spread his legs, drawing me in closer, allowingme to explore while he kept arms down by his sides. But I could feel him trembling with the effort of holding back when I slid one hand into his thick, luscious hair and tugged.
‘Laura,’ he said, sounding hoarse, as he tilted his chin down to meet my upturned face, our mouths less than a breath apart. ‘This is more than OK with me but I need to be sure you know what you’re doing.’
The sound of my name on his lips, his breath warm against my skin, made my thighs clench.
‘Admittedly it’s been a minute but I’ve got a vague idea,’ I assured him, my fingers fisting the fabric of his shirt. ‘I am a doctor.’
‘That’s not what I mean and you know it.’ His teasing smile turned doubtful. ‘Are we making things worse?’
‘How?’
I was transfixed by his mouth, the shapes his lips made when he spoke, the fine lines that bracketed either side, invisible from a distance but clear enough close up. If he smiled more often, they’d be more prominent. I wanted to see them always.
‘Because – what was it you said?’ The smile and the lines disappeared, replaced by deep creases between his brows. ‘You don’t have time for relationships. Only fun.’
I was only half listening, struggling to process the influx of chemicals being released into my body, infusing into my bloodstream, flooding my brain. Rational thought and commonsense were drowning in dopamine and adrenaline, one chemical reaction triggering another until I’d passed the point of no return. I knew the science of what was happening to me but just like anything else in life, theory could never prepareyou for practice, not really. My mouth was dry, my heart pounded and every part of me yearned for him. If Callum didn’t touch me back soon, I was sure I would explode.
‘We could have fun,’ I told him, pushing up onto my toes to graze his ear with my teeth.
‘I don’t doubt it. But it wouldn’t be fair.’
‘Life isn’t fair,’ I said. ‘Only short. Too short to live with regrets.’
The moan that passed through his trembling lips when I nipped at his earlobe made my body sing. Every time I touched him, he reacted, shaking or gasping, completely at my mercy. It was brand new to me, this sense of power. I thought letting my emotions take over meant losing control but I’d never felt more in control in my life.
I liked it.
Stepping away, I felt his body move with me, one magnet to another. I peeled off my jumper and let it fall to the floor then unfastened my jeans to shimmy out of the restrictive denim. My eyes passed over his body, the evidence of how badly he wanted the same thing I did, straining visibly against tight fabric at his crotch.
‘Just fun,’ Callum murmured to himself as I slipped back into place, my feet nestled between his feet, my whole body pressed against his.
‘Just fun,’ I confirmed, wrapping my arms around his neck, desperate, beyond desperate, for him to touch me.
The shadows of whatever thoughts and feelings had been holding him back passed over his face and his spine was straight and stiff. Seconds stretched out into an eternity as he screwed his eyes shut, forehead furrowed with effort, until I pressed a kiss to the exposedskin at the hollow of his throat and a long, low groan rolled out of his body and into mine.
‘Fuck it.’
As the words left his mouth, before I could catch my breath, his lips were on mine, ravenous and searching. All of his restraint was gone, hands cupping my face, holding me in place as he devoured me as though he’d been starving for months and I was his first meal. Our teeth clashed as our tongues entwined and he tasted like whisky and breath mints and I wondered for a moment if he’d been planning this, before pushing the thought from my mind, all thoughts from my mind, and allowing my body to take over.
