A silver Mercedes pulled up in front of the town hall, stopping right next to a beetroot-faced Derek. My heart stuttered in my chest when I felt a tug on the sleeve of my coat.
‘Can I speak to you?’ Callum asked.
‘No,’ Desi answered for me. ‘You can’t.’
She opened the back door of the car and pushed myhead down, bundling me into the back like a police suspect. As I shuffled over to make room for my two friends, Callum’s eyes stayed locked on mine. And when the car pulled away, I had my fingers pressed against my mouth, still staring in his direction as he disappeared into the distance.
With Mal and Lizzie in the front of the Mercedes, me, Desi and Joel in the back, we beat the Land Rover home by less than thirty seconds. Derek pulled up right behind us, Elsie flying out of his front passenger side, Callum and Rory rolling out the backseat. Shiv had seemingly found her own way home.
I tumbled out of the car, wincing at the sound of so many doors slamming shut at the same time, the racket bouncing off the front of the house and echoing into the empty night. Desi and Joel muttered at each other while I poked at a paper-thin layer of ice on the surface of the pond with the toe of my shoe. It cracked, but the pieces stayed where they were, held in place by the rest of the frozen water, nowhere for them to go.
‘Who’s hungry?’ Lizzie asked brightly and I followed her around to the back door of the house, leaving Callum, Elsie and their dad to share some choice words. Keys jangled in a lock, the door opened, we were inside. Rory rested a kind hand on the centre of my back before giving me a shove over the threshold.
‘You don’t want to be part of that,’ he said. ‘Trust me.’
‘I might go upstairs for a bit,’ I said, staring at my feet. ‘I think I’ve got another migraine coming on.’
‘Fine. You’re back in your own room tonight. Svetlana.’ Lizzie turned to Desi, pressing a hand to her chest asthough saying the name caused her physical pain. ‘I moved your things into the guest suite in the Abercorn wing. Would you like me to show you the way?’
Desi shook her head. ‘I’m going with Caroline.’
‘No, you aren’t,’ Joel corrected. ‘Caroline has a migraine, give her some space.’
‘And I don’t think it’s good for her to be alone when she’s got a migraine. I’m going with her.’
She stared him down but he did not budge.
‘My arse, you’re coming with me.’ Joel, the greatest peacemaker of our time, turned to Lizzie with the most charming smile in his repertoire. ‘Mrs McClay, thank you so much. Which way to our new room?’
‘Rory, can you show them?’ Lizzie asked and her youngest son nodded, clicking his fingers and shooting double finger guns. Then she looked to me. ‘Before you go up, could I have a word?’
Suddenly the thought of being alone with Desi didn’t seem that bad. Better a best friend bollocking than a dressing-down from your fake boyfriend’s mum. But I nodded. The others left us behind even as Desi tried to drag me along with them by sheer force of will.
‘I want to say …’ Lizzie tugged on the ends of the silk scarf fastened around her neck. Her eyes were red. Had she been crying in silence in the car? ‘I just want to say …’
‘I’m so sorry,’ I blurted out before she could fumble for her words one second longer. It was excruciating. ‘I was totally out of order and I’m mortified about the whole thing. I don’t know what came over me.’
Not very Caroline of me but I couldn’t help myself. The memory of my own mother at the carol service hovered at the edge of my mind, I couldn’t standknowing I’d brought Callum’s mum to tears. She caught my hand in hers, delicate bones and soft skin, and shook her head.
‘You might not believe it now but I had more than one run-in with Derek’s family when I was young. I might have even forgotten it myself. It can consume that part of you, being a mother. Sometimes I forget who I was before.’
‘It’s a very difficult job,’ I replied, the words stilted, still afraid she might slap the taste out of my mouth at any second. But she didn’t. Instead, she unfastened her brooch and pulled off the silk scarf, shoving both of them into her pocket.
‘I miss Callum,’ she said simply. ‘The house isn’t the same without him, but we haven’t been fair to him. Or to Elsie. I had no idea she felt that way. She would never have said anything if you hadn’t forced it out of her so thank you.’
‘Thank you?’ I couldn’t believe my ears. ‘You’re thanking me for arguing with Elsie?’
‘I’m thanking you for getting her to tell us the truth,’ she amended. ‘I’m under no illusions about who my daughter is or the fact she’s got a temper. But I didn’t know how much she’d kept bottled up. It’s my job, as her mother, to see to her happiness, not the other way around. That’s a difficult thing to do if you don’t really know what’s going on inside your children’s heads, and Lord knows they’re never in any rush to tell you.’
‘Still,’ I said. ‘I am sorry for causing a scene.’
‘Gives busybodies in town something to talk about.’ She smiled and took hold of my hand. ‘You really love him, don’t you?’
‘I feel like I can be myself with him,’ I whispered back. ‘I feel like he sees me.’
She nodded then pulled me into a hug. A surprised gasp spluttered out of me but it was over almost as soon as it had begun, Lizzie breaking away and rolling her sleeves up to her elbows.
‘You look peaked, Caroline. Go on up to bed and I’ll send Callum up with something for your head when they’re done.’ She paused and I heard raised voices from all the way outside. ‘Might be a wee while.’
