‘Des,’ I said finally. ‘Leave it alone.’
‘No, I get it, you’re committed to your career,’ she said, her long dark hair whipping around her face as the wind blew in off the loch. ‘Just like our Laura. She’s a genius, you know. Did she tell you? Aced every exam she’s ever taken, got her first choice of residency, assisting the best surgeon in the country – hey!’
‘I’m not a genius,’ I interrupted, skipping ahead to step on the back of her shoes and forcing her to let go of Callum’s arm. ‘I’m just focused, that’s all.’
He gave me a thankful smile. ‘I’d imagine you’d have to be, in your line of work. No one wants a brain surgeon who’s thinking about what she’s going to have for her tea.’
‘It’s not that she’s short of offers.’ Desi recovered herself and jumped right back in where she left off. ‘If she felt like it, Laura could be drowning in cock, but no, she’s dedicated to a higher purpose.’
‘If anyone wants me, I’ll be in the loch, looking for Nessie,’ I said, pressing one hand to my forehead. ‘Somewhere on the bottom. At the deep end.’
‘Always drowning in something,’ Joel lamented. ‘Callum, tell me about the loch. Do people swim in it? Can I rent a little jet-ski and zip up and down?’
‘I wouldn’t bother today unless you’re after freezing to death,’ he replied. ‘They do boat tours. You can ride a jet-ski with a permit, I think. I’m not clear on the rules for water sports.’
‘And if you’re going to get involved in water sports, you have to be clear on the rules,’ Desi said sagely.
Joel took our friend by the arm and pulled her away. ‘Desi, will you come with me please? I think I see an orc with a hard-on and it’s waving at you.’
‘The orc or the hard-on?’ she asked as he dragged her off across the pebbles.
‘I’m so sorry,’ I said when Callum sat down on the beach to look out over the water. ‘She’s a monster. Who needs Nessie when you’ve got Desi?’
‘She’s Elsie if she had a sense of humour,’ he replied. ‘We have to keep the two of them apart otherwise I think the world might end.’
The wind whipped off the water as he rested his forearms on his knees, the waxy fabric of his jacket rubbing against his jeans. I pulled my coat closer around my body as I sat down next to him. Not because I was especially cold, against all odds I was getting used to the weather, but I needed the extra layer of protection against Callum. The smell of him, the warmth of him. Every time our eyes met, I was afraid I might explode if I didn’t hold myself in.
I felt like I was going crazy, walking around the loch as though everything were perfectly normal, as though I was the exact same person who had walked into that flat on Sunday morning. But I couldn’t be. That Laura was immune to emotions. She wouldn’t have to keep stopping every ten steps or so to stare at the man beside her as though she’d discovered a new species.
Could it be that my immunity was wearing off? Love was an illness and I’d avoided it for so long but now I was showing all the symptoms and it was progressing worryingly fast.
‘Thank you for bringing us out here,’ I said, tuckingmy hair behind my ears and continuing with the facade. ‘I know you didn’t want to come.’
He scrunched up his face, the tiny golden freckle under his eye disappearing. ‘Don’t thank me, I was being an arse. I’d forgotten how beautiful it can be here and the tourists aren’t so bad. When you spend a long time in one place, you take it for granted but it’s been nice. Seeing it through your eyes.’
The loch and the sky melded together in one endless stretch of blue in front of me and Callum’s left thigh pressed against my right one.
‘Well, still, I appreciate it,’ I told him. ‘I can’t remember the last time I spent this much time outside.’
Leaning forward, he sifted through the pebbles between his feet, picking them up, testing their weight, running his thumb over their surface.
‘What do you usually do on your days off?’
‘Watch telly? Stare at my phone? The usual incredibly healthy hobbies.’
‘Stop me if this is a stupid question but is it true phones can negatively impact on our brains?’
I nodded, happy to be in more comfortable territory. ‘Oh yes. There have been a lot of studies on how they impact behaviour, dopamine hits, attention spans and all that stuff, but yes, there’s evidence that suggests social media can impact our brain anatomy as well, not just the chemical response.’
‘And you still use it?’
‘Obsessively,’ I said with a rueful smile. ‘That’s why it’s an addiction.’
‘Worse things to be addicted to, I guess.’ He picked out a round, flat pebble and bounced it in his hand. ‘At least until the Terminators arrive.’
‘Just a matter of time, might as well enjoy it now,’ I agreed breezily. ‘I’m less worried about Chinese spies stealing all my secrets and more worried about my boss finding out how much time a day I spend watching TikToks about baby hippos. He’d sack me in a heartbeat.’
Callum pushed up off his knees and stood up. I looked up at him, blinking at the sunlight that made his russet hair glow.
