I took a deep breath in and held it as Joel pinned the Luckenbooth brooch back on my jumper.
‘Controversial,’ he said. ‘But it’s got to be worth a go?’
‘What if it turns out he’s not interested?’
‘Then me and Joel will beat the living shit out of him,’ Desi offered with too much enthusiasm. ‘An extra-special Christmas gift from us to you.’
The fluorescent overhead lights made the brooch glint and sparkle. If I didn’t go back, this would all be for nothing. Desi and Joel would drive me home and I’d have something new to add to my pile of grievances with the world. But if I found Callum and said my piece, even if he didn’t reciprocate, I’d still have something to hold on to. I’d still know that I was capable of something I thought was lost to me.
‘For what it’s worth, I’d go back.’
All three of us looked up at once to see the security guard leaning against the end of the snack aisle. ‘
‘You meet a lot of people in this job, hear a lot of things.’ He nodded sagely like the wise old man of the woods as opposed to the eavesdropping security guard of the service station. ‘I’d turn around and let your man say his piece.’
‘Normally I’d tell you to ignore weirdos like him, no offence,’ Desi said pointing back at him – in fairness, he didn’t look especially upset. ‘But he agrees with me so he must be right. Lau, we should go back.’
‘You’re just trying to avoid the ten-hour drive,’ I replied, sulking as the odds stacked up against me.
‘That’s true but I also think you owe it to Callum to hear him out,’ she said. ‘More importantly, you owe it to yourself.’
‘OK, yes, let’s go back,’ I said, nodding, slowly at first and then so feverishly I thought my head might snap off, I swallowed and pressed cold hands to my hot face.
Desi grabbed my hand and began pulling me towards the door. ‘Right this second, before you change your mind.’
‘As soon as you’ve bought something and cleaned up your mess, you mean.’ The security guard pulled himselfup to his full height, one hand resting on the walkie talkie at his hip. ‘I’m happy to dispense advice but I’m not your bloody cleaner. I’m already working Christmas Day for Christ’s sake.’
‘Oh for fuck’s sake.’ Joel bent down and scooped up a tub of Rocky Road mini bites. ‘Go and start the car, I’ll be out in a minute.’
He sprinted towards the self-checkout, followed by the security guard, while Desi picked up what she could, shoved it onto the nearest shelf and shunted the rest of it under the closest aisle with her foot.
‘Good?’ she asked.
‘Good enough,’ I confirmed, dragging her behind me and out the front door. ‘Let’s go.’
Chapter Twenty-Eight
When we got to the house, no one was home.
The Land Rover and the silver Mercedes were both gone when I ran around to the back of the house to check, no one answering at any door.
‘Callum said they go to church on Christmas morning,’ I remembered, my adrenaline high crashing hard as I climbed back into the car, sullen faced. ‘They’re probably all there now.’
‘No worries,’ Desi said brightly. ‘We’ll just go to the church.’
‘How festive,’ Joel replied. ‘I’m in.’
But I wasn’t.
‘We’re not going to storm a church,’ I said, visions of a nativity scene gone flying, Desi screaming Callum’s name like she was starring in a local production ofA Streetcar Named Desireshuddering through my mind. ‘We’ll wait for them to come home.’
Joel slumped against the backseat, hands tucked into his armpits.
‘How long will they be? I’m freezing.’
‘Literally no idea,’ Desi replied. ‘Lau?’
‘The last time I was in a church was for my own christening so you’ll forgive me for not having the faintest idea,’ I said. ‘I don’t even know what kind of church they go to. Could be a half an hour, could be all day. Catholic goes on for a bit, I think.’
