‘Your grandmother gave me this crazy salve she said would help with the swelling,’ he explained. ‘Burned hotter than blue blazes when I put it on, but the next day my leg was as good as new. She should sell that stuff, it’s magic.’
‘Yeah.’ I held onto the tree with both hands. ‘It is.’
‘How come you’re out so early?’ He took a second look at my outfit. ‘In your … pyjamas?’
I glanced down at my matching cotton shorts and shirt, paleblue with navy piping and my updated initials, ECJB, monogrammed on the front pocket.
‘Couldn’t sleep.’ I was aiming for breezy but came up somewhere closer to hysterical. ‘Trying to clear my head. In my pyjamas.’
‘In yourcutepyjamas,’ Jackson corrected and I smiled. He really couldn’t help himself.
‘Lydia told me she’s planning your birthday party,’ he added, leaving the footpath to join me underneath the tree. A balled-up white tank hung from the back of his shorts, bouncing over his butt as he walked. ‘According to my sister, it’s going to be the hottest party Savannah has ever seen. I hope you know what you’re letting yourself in for.’
‘She swore she would keep it small,’ I said with a groan. ‘She lied, didn’t she?’
‘Maybe just a little.’ He raised one arm and knocked on the trunk of the tree before leaning against it oh-so casually. ‘She also kind of mentioned you were seeing some guy but he left town or something?’
Thank you, Lydia, I thought, straining to keep the polite smile on my face.
‘Right,’ I said through gritted teeth.
‘Right,’ he echoed. ‘I wanted to offer my services as your date for the party.’
‘You’re joking?’
I didn’t mean to sound quite so horrified by his proposal.
He pulled the tank out from his waistband and yanked it over his head. ‘Should I take that as a thanks but no thanks?’
‘You should take it as a thank you so much, I’m so incredibly flattered you would even ask,’ I said right away, cringing at my lack of tact. ‘What I meant was “I think you’re amazing but I’m not ready to go on any dates with anyone just yet but I really would like you to be at the party”. Is that better?’
‘Guess I should have made my move sooner,’ he replied with a self-deprecating grin. ‘You know I wanted to ask you out right away but Lyds said I wasn’t allowed. Being a gentleman gets you nowhere.’
‘Agree to disagree. I think it gets you exactly where you ought to be,’ I told him. ‘When the time is right.’
‘Then maybe we could rain check on that date?’
He looked so hopeful, so genuine, I didn’t have it in me to say no. Hopeful and genuine with perfectly symmetrical features and eyelashes so long and lush I could have used them to sweep the streets.
‘Maybe,’ I replied, laughing when he jumped up to high five the tree in celebration.
‘I’m going to quit while I’m ahead.’ Jackson touched his fingers to his forehead in a salute then jogged back onto the path. ‘Gotta finish my run before the heat starts to kick. See you soon, Em.’
I waved as he went, lingering under the tree to wonder what might have been. What if I’d stayed in the Powell house that first morning? What if he asked me out right away? How would things be different if I’d lost an afternoon making out with Jackson until my lips were raw instead of Wyn? Jackson was stupidly hot and improbably nice for someone so ripped. A month ago, I would have fallen over on the spot at the very thought of going on a date with him. But now there was just one very sticky, immovable obstacle in the way of us being together.
He wasn’t Wyn.
Ten minutes of speed walking later, I found myself outside Wyn’s apartment. It was empty, the shutters closed on the old carriage house and not a trace of his energy inside. But would I be able to feel him somewhere else? Quickly making sure noone was watching, I crossed the street and touched the door handle. With my eyes closed, I thought back to the last time I’d been here with him, that long afternoon spent in his bed, and searched. I cast my net wider, out through the city, all the way to the far boundaries of Forsyth Park and beyond, up to the Savannah River, over Tybee Island. Before the Wilcuma, it might have stopped there but today things were different. I focused harder, imagining a map of the United States, picturing Asheville and the little mountain town outside of it that he’d described in such loving detail.
I found him.
He was alive.
I couldn’t explain, not even to myself, but I knew in my bones he was still here. He was far away, somewhere he couldn’t reach me, but still alive and for now at least, knowing that was enough. Maybe it would be better if he kept his distance, I thought, dragging myself away from his apartment as the memories of my vision returned unbidden. Even if I felt like I was missing a limb or a vital organ, he would be safe.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Catherine rushed me the moment I walked through the door, cupping my face so tightly, I was sure she would leave fingerprints on my cheekbones. She was still in her silk robe, hair down, no makeup on. I’d never seen her this way before and it didn’t make me feel any better about anything.
