He held out his hand for the book and she stared back at him, confused, before slowly realising what he wanted. Heartbreak etched itself onto her face and, with the greatest reluctance, she gave it back.
‘Everything,’ she told him, whimpering as the book passed out of her grasp. Her whole body lurched with it like the two of them were physically linked. ‘The story, the characters.’ She paused, her cheeks turning scarlet. ‘The spice.’
The way I sucked my cheeks was so violent, it was a wonder my entire face didn’t collapse in on itself.
‘It’s the connection,’ she expanded. ‘When Jenna meets Eric, it’s electric. I want that. All that passion and emotion. He really sees her, you know? That’s so sexy.’
‘Interesting, OK,’ Joe replied, rubbing the underneath of his chin with the back of his hand. ‘You don’t think books like this give women unrealistic expectations?’
She glared down at him, appalled.
‘Only if you don’t think you deserve love.’
‘Ouch,’ I said through gritted teeth as he winced. ‘I felt that one.’
‘I do deserve it,’ she stated as I silently cheered her on from the sidelines. ‘I deserve someone who supportsme, believes in meandknows how to hit it. We all do. You probably don’t understand.’
‘What makes you say that?’ he asked.
‘Because you’re, like, a conventionally attractive straight man,’ she replied. ‘So, you know, you’re limited.’
Joe quirked an eyebrow. ‘What makes you think I’m straight?’
‘Your aftershave, your haircut, your trousers, your shoes, the way you’re sitting and the fact you asked that question.’
He bowed his head as I smothered a laugh.
‘Guilty as charged.’
‘Then it’s probably too hard for you to understand,’ she said, altering her tone to address him the same way I talked to the kids in Year One when they didn’t want to share the colouring pencils. ‘But Este Cox gets it. That’s why I love romance novels. When I read a really good one, I see how the world could be.Should be. I’m only twenty-three and I’ve already been through, like, more than enough. Books likeButterflieslet me take a time-out from reality.’
‘Then it’s escapism,’ Joe said, trying to summarise her explanation. ‘Romance novels are popular because they’re escapist.’
‘And what’s wrong with that?’ she challenged.
‘Nothing,’ he replied quickly before she could shred him into another thousand pieces. ‘I didn’t say there was—’
‘Good, because anything that lets you take a much-needed step back from everything going on in the world today seems very fucking important to me.’
She snatched the book back from his undeserving hands and cradled it defensively, covering its ears so itwouldn’t have to hear his ignorant comments. I didn’t move, couldn’t speak, but somewhere in my chest, I felt a spark of pride. She really, truly loved the book.
My book.
‘You should keep it,’ I heard myself say. ‘We can get another one.’
She looked at me like I’d offered her front row Taylor Swift tickets and not a slightly fancier copy of a book she already owned. It wouldn’t have even taken a feather to knock her down, the slightest sigh would’ve done the trick.
‘Are you serious?’ she said. ‘I can really keep it? It’s my favourite book of all time, I’ll take such good care of it.’
‘Just promise you’ll keep it under wraps for now. And leave a positive review on Goodreads,’ Joe said as I forced myself to sit in the unfamiliar glow of her adoration.
‘Already done,’ she gushed, hugging her book to her chest. ‘I’m counting down the days to the sequel. Literally, I’ve got a countdown on my phone. Only two hundred and eighty-five to go.’
‘That’s not terrifying at all,’ I whispered, holding on to my tote bag extra tightly in case she had X-ray vision and could somehow see inside. If she knew what was inside, there was every chance I’d lose a limb trying to protect it.
‘I know, how am I supposed to wait so long?’ she laughed before cutting herself off, dead serious. ‘Like, Este, write faster, babes.’
‘You probably want to get on,’ Joe said as I tried to remember to breathe. Two hundred and eighty-five days. ‘Nice to meet you …?’
