‘Fine, five and a half. Bottom line is, the bag is gone. There’s nothing else we can do, time to move on.’
The tote bag was gone. My manuscript, the book, all the evidence of my identity. The thought of someone reading my work in progress gave me chills. I felt so vulnerable, like I’d been locked out the house in my underwear and not nice underwear at that.
‘Dad’s done a good job with this place, hasn’t he?’ William looked around with admiration, changing the subject before I could spiral any further. ‘Who knew he had such a knack for interior design?’
‘Me. They use my Netflix password and he’s been watching all the back seasons ofQueer Eye.’
‘Seems sturdy.’ He knocked on the wall and nodded as though he had any idea what a sturdy construction was supposed to sound like. ‘Soph, if I say something do you promise not to take it the wrong way?’
Whatever he was going to say it seemed there was only one possible way I was going to take it. I busied myself by opening up my suitcase and unrolling my outfits, still unsure as to why I’d bothered to bring so many clothes when I would almost certainly spend all weekend in jeans as usual.
‘Whatever it is, spit it out,’ I said, preparing for the worst.
‘It’s just … you seem a bit down,’ he said carefully. ‘For someone whose lifelong dream has always been to write a book, I thought you’d be a bit more excited about everything that’s going on.’
I shook out a slinky black dress I bought three years ago but still hadn’t worn despite packing it for three different weddings, two hen dos and a girls’ trip to Amsterdam. It was a beautiful dress but I’d never felt beautiful enough to wear it.
‘I am excited,’ I replied. ‘I’m ecstatic. I’m cock-a-bloody-hoop.’
William frowned doubtfully as I hung the dress on the front of the wardrobe where I could stare at it all weekend and once again, not wear it.
‘I’m being serious, I’m worried about you. No one’s saying you have to throw yourself a parade but if anything you’ve been even more withdrawn than usual since the book came out.’
Withdrawn? I’m not withdrawn,’ I replied, checking and checking his allegation in my head.
‘Tense then,’ he suggested but I shook my head to refute that too.
‘Everything is absolutely grand. I’ve just been—’
Looping an imaginary noose around his neck, he cut me off with a deeply unattractive choking noise.
‘So help me god, if you say you’ve been busy, I’m going to come over there and give you a dead arm. Yes, you’re busy, everyone’s busy, but not everyone has a bestselling book, a movie deal and I know the royalties haven’t started coming in yet but, sister of mine, I’m your agent. I’ve seen the numbers. You’re about to be hanging-out-on-a-yacht-with-Leo rich and we both know it. That’s not enough to raise a smile?’
I tossed five times the number of pairs of knickers I could possibly need in one weekend into the bottom of the wardrobe and shrugged.
‘Boats make me seasick and we both know I’m way too old for Leo.’
‘Well, something’s wrong,’ he replied, not settling for my answer. ‘Are you being bullied at school?’
‘William, I’m the teacher.’
‘And I’m assuming there’s nothing to report on the romantic front?’
The closeness of Joe’s lips to mine flickered through my mind.
‘Nope.’
‘But you’re getting out, seeing your friends?’
‘Yes, I’m getting out and seeing my friends,’ I replied with an indignant sigh borrowed directly from my sister. ‘Not as much as usual, admittedly, but with the head of year thing at work and writing the sequel, I can’t do everything. And I’m the only single one in the group atthe moment. It’s not always the most fun thing in the world to hang out with a load of loved-up, sprogged-up women when the closest you’ve come to an erect penis in the last six months is writing about one.’
‘To be filed under “Things I never needed to hear my sister say”,’ he grumbled. ‘Fine, I won’t mention it again. As long as you’re not turning into a hermit just to keep your secret.’
‘Your concerns have been noted,’ I assured him while wrestling a coat hanger off the rail. It was nice to know he cared. He dipped into my suitcase and pulled out my most comfortable bra with a look of horror.
‘As long as you know you won’t be able to keep this under your hat forever,’ William said, holding it up to the light to examine the bra in all its washed-out beige glory. ‘One way or another, the whole Este Cox thing is going to come out and also, please will you go underwear shopping immediately.’
Yanking my bra out of his hands, I shoved it in the wardrobe along with my socks and knickers. ‘What if I want to be one of those eccentric weirdos who sits on millions their whole lives then leaves it all to a cat sanctuary?’
