‘You’re going to be so ill tomorrow,’ she predicted,standing up with her handbag tucked under her arm, the spitting image of our gran. ‘I’m going to get you something proper to eat, don’t even think about ordering another drink.’
‘Definitely won’t,’ I replied with a salute. ‘But could you get me a margarita if you see one?’
Even though the evening had turned pleasantly cool, I was very warm. There was a gentle fuzziness at the edges of my vision and all I could do was smile. I felt wonderful, all my cares thousands of miles away.
‘It’s so cold,’ Bel said with a theatrical shiver. ‘Ren, are you cold?’
‘I’m fine,’ he replied, his eyes trained on the field. ‘I have a blanket in the truck if you want to go get it?’
Ren was so invested in the game, he hadn’t eaten so much as a single nacho. I could not relate. With a subtle eye-roll in my direction, Bel slid down in her seat, lips twisted. Apparently, we had found the boundary of his chivalry and that boundary was the Los Angeles Dodgers. I handed the baseball widow my jacket and with a grateful smile, she slid her arms through the sleeves, digging her hands deep into the pockets.
‘So you get three chances to hit it?’ I said as I leaned over Suzanne’s empty seat and took a discreet sip of her beer. She said I couldn’t order another drink, not that I couldn’t drink hers. ‘And then you’re out?’
‘Three strikes and you’re out,’ Ren replied without looking at me. He was still highly focused. ‘But if the pitcher throws four balls out of the strike zone and the batter doesn’t swing, they walk the batter. And that doesn’t take foul balls into consideration.’
‘I have no idea what you just said,’ I told him as Iclapped my hands in time to the music. Or at least mostly in time to the music. ‘And to think people struggle with the offside rule.’
Between us, Bel pulled a tightly folded square of paper out of the pocket of my jacket, flicking it between her fingers. I felt bad for her, it was easy to see she was incredibly bored, but what kind of person could be bored at baseball?
‘How come they’re wearing belts?’ I asked, marvelling at the absurdity. ‘Look, that one is wearing a proper leather belt with a buckle. What if he falls over and does himself a mischief?’
‘What’s this?’
‘I don’t know, a receipt?’ I looked over to see her unfolding the piece of paper she’d found in my pocket and shrugged. ‘I thought an old man was trying to give me his phone number yesterday but it was a leaflet for his naked yoga class. If it’s that, don’t look – there are pictures and they are not good.’
‘Who decides when to give it a name?’ Bel read out loud. ‘When the whispers in our heart are safe to shout from the rooftops.’
Every single muscle in my body clenched at the same time. I felt so tense and dense, I could have stopped a runaway train if you’d thrown me in its path.
‘What was that?’ Ren’s head spun around so fast, the people in the row behind us must have thought he was possessed. ‘What did you say?’
‘Phoebe?’ Bel said, pinching the piece of paper between her thumb and forefinger. ‘What is this?’
What is it? I repeated in my head. What is it? What is it?
‘Oh, there it is!’ I managed to say after far too long, sitting up as my stomach sank. ‘Bel, it’s the other letter you wrote for Ren. I must have put it in my pocket for safekeeping then forgot it was there. I’m so embarrassed, I thought I’d lost it.’
All at once, Ren didn’t seem terribly interested in the baseball any more.
‘You wrote me another letter?’ he asked.
‘I did?’ Bel’s inflection rose just enough to give both Ren and me pause. ‘I mean, yeah, I did.’
‘And you left it at mine when you were there on Monday,’ I added. ‘I found it after you left.’
‘After the hike,’ she replied, rereading the note, every inch of my skin turning scarlet. ‘This was written after the hike.’
‘Yes,’ I said, biting my bottom lip. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘No problem,’ Bel said lightly, folding the piece of paper in half along a well-worn crease and sticking it back in her pocket. ‘Don’t sweat it.’
But I was sweating so much, I had very little hope for the natural deodorant I’d swiped from Suzanne’s bathroom cabinet.
Ren held out his hand. ‘Can I have it?’ he asked.
‘You want it now?’ Bel replied. ‘You want to read it here?’
‘It’s for me, isn’t it?’ he said, nodding.
