‘How are you liking LA so far?’ he asked as he leaned forward and rested his forearms against the fence at the bottom of Suzanne’s garden.
‘So far, so good.’ I fixed my hair behind my ears to anchor it down against the early evening breeze. ‘My friend, Bel, took me to Malibu this morning. It’s so beautiful out there.’
‘It really is,’ he agreed. ‘Although I can’t remember the last time I went.’
I clucked with disapproval. ‘Bel said the same thing and you should both be ashamed of yourselves. Imagine having something that perfect on your doorstep and never going to see it.’
‘You know how it is, we never appreciate what’s right in front of us,’ Ren said, turning away from the view and smiling down at me instead. ‘I’ve never been to the UK but I’m sure it’s just as beautiful where you live?’
‘Oh, extremely beautiful,’ I lied, safe in the knowledge he would never find himself in my village but also wondering which he’d find more aesthetically pleasing, the burnt-out pub that still hadn’t been knocked down or the ancient slag heap round the back of the closed down coal mine. ‘But it’s very different to LA.’
‘Everywhere is different to LA.’
His eyes lit up in a way that made me so jealous of the city, I wished it had a shin so I could kick it. No one had ever looked that way when they were talking about me.
‘There’s something special here,’ he said. ‘Sure, the city has its problems, a lot of things here are a mess, but I’ve never been anywhere else that makes me feel the way LA does.’
‘And what way is that?’ I asked.
‘Like you could do anything,’ he answered, awestruck by his own hometown. ‘Be anyone, achieve all your dreams. Everything feels possible here.’
Something else to add to the list. Ren was passionate about the things that he loved and looking at him then, watching him watch the city below, I completely understood how Bel had fallen for him. What must it feel like to have someone adore you so completely?
‘I thought that was New York,’ I said when I remembered it was my turn to speak. ‘Rumour has it, if you can make it there, you can make it anywhere.’
He frowned and shook his head. ‘I lived in New York for a while. More like if you can make it there, you’re either a billionaire or a sociopath.’
‘That’s not nearly as catchy, is it? What if you’re a billionaire and a sociopath?’
‘Then you’ll fit in great,’ he said, his smile sliding back into place. His face didn’t look right without it. ‘New YorkersareNew York, the people make the city. For me, LA isn’t about the people, people come and go all the time. It’s about the tension. Los Angeles is contradiction, that’s what makes it so exciting.’
‘Really?’ I replied, looking down at all the big houses with their tennis courts and swimming pools. What did these people have to be tense about? ‘I spend most of my time trying to avoid tension.’
‘You don’t think there’s such a thing as good tension?’
He turned to look at me, hitting me with the full force of those deep green eyes, and I suddenly found it very hard to swallow.
‘Think about it. Here we are in the middle of one of the biggest cities in America and at the same time, we’re lost in the woods, looking for a red-tailed hawk. How is that possible? This morning you were on a deserted beach but if we wanted to, we could drive up a mountain and be swimming in a glacial lake before bedtime. You can go to Beverly Hills and pay a thousand dollars for a steak or get five bucks’ worth of tacos from a truck outside the drugstore and they will both be the best meal you ever ate in your life. That’s the kind of tension I’m talking about.’
‘Oh well, when you put it like that,’ I said, swept up in his enthusiasm once again. ‘Now please tell me more about the tacos.’
‘I know I’m biased but I do believe this is the greatest city in the world.’ He cast a loving eye out over his town, exhaling a contented sigh. ‘Maybe it’s because I grew up here or because this is where my grandfathercame to make a better life for his family, but I’ve always felt like there’s magic in Los Angeles. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.’
Even though I knew it was rude, I couldn’t help but stare at him. His eyes had turned a deep, dark emerald, dancing with memories I wished I could share. Imagine feeling so much passion for a place. Imagine feeling so much passion about anything. Nothing even scratched the surface for me these days; feelings were too dangerous. Everyone let you down eventually. Even the local pizza place had taken my favourite tuna pizza off the menu. I didn’t, couldn’t and wouldn’t trust anyone. But in that moment, standing beside Ren, I almost wished things were different.
‘If you love LA so much, what took you to New York?’ I asked, shaking off the shadows of my dark mood.
I had to find out as much about him as I possibly could. For research purposes. For Bel. And also because I could listen to the sound of his voice until the end of time and never get bored of it. There was a depth and a richness to his words that made my whole body tingle, a voice deep enough to sink into and lose yourself. But not in a threatening way, like the man who did all the movie trailers. It was deep, warm and welcoming.
‘Curiosity mostly. I grew up here but we moved to Maine when I was fifteen, to be closer to my mom’s family. I still came back every summer to see my grandparents, but I had to have my teenage rebellion, same as everyone else. New York was the obvious option.’
‘You’ve got to be careful with curiosity,’ I cautioned,more to myself than him. ‘It’ll get you in all kinds of trouble.’
He nudged me with his elbow and a spark shot up my spine. ‘Sometimes it’s good trouble. Sometimes it’s worth it.’
‘And when did you move back to LA?’ I asked, twisting my body away from him. It had been far too long since I’d felt the touch of another human being. One brush of a man’s elbow and I was practically a puddle. I pressed a finger to the spot on my elbow, still flaming from his touch. Maybe I was allergic to him. Perhaps I should take a Piriton just in case.
‘I didn’t,’ he said. ‘Technically, I still live in Maine although I don’t have a place there right now. My grandpa died a year ago and I’m here to fix up the house so my brother can get more out of a developer who’s going to knock it down and build an ugly modern block in its place because he doesn’t care what it means to me and my dad.’
