‘Beats me, but we sell a lot of golf-related cards to dads. As soon as a man has spawned, his interest in hitting small balls with a big stick goes up by roughly 74 per cent.’
‘I get it,’ she replied. ‘My brother’s kids make me want to hit something. For real, they’re monsters, you wanna …’ She cut herself off and reset her smile. ‘Thankfully I don’t see them that often. So, Phoebe, do you like your job?’
No one had ever asked me that before. I wasn’t sure how to answer. Did I like my job?
‘I suppose I do,’ I told her, almost surprised to hear myself say it. ‘Writing and reading have always been my favourite things. I never thought someone would actually pay me to write, even if it is just making up jokes for birthday cards. I work from home, the money is decent, my boss isn’t terrible. Yes, I do like my job.’
Bel rested her elbows on the table and cradled her face in her hands. ‘You’re so lucky, not many people can say that.’
‘Do you like your job?’ I asked, relaxing against the back of my rickety chair, warm in this new knowledge about myself.
She pulled her shoulders all the way up to her ears and held them there. ‘I like some of my jobs. I have a bunch, I’m not just a trainer, you know? I walk dogs, I work as a cater-waiter, I lead meditation classes, I run a women’s self-defence club, oh, and I’m an activist.’
‘That’s amazing,’ I replied with genuine admiration. ‘I always feel like I should be doing more for important causes, but I never know where to start, it’s all so overwhelming.’
‘Oh yes, I know, but I can’t sit by and do nothing, not when there’s so much injustice in the world,’ she said solemnly. ‘Show me an important cause and I will march for it. Sometimes I make signs, sometimes I hand out snacks.’ She leaned forward, dropping her voice to a conspiratorial tone. ‘Between you and me, I wasveryinstrumental in the Free Britney campaign. My facialist’s roommate’s ex-girlfriend’s cousin started the original hashtag.’
I bit my lip and nodded in solidarity. It was, infairness, a very important cause. Not one I was expecting but still.
Bel sat back and sipped her coffee. ‘And obvs, I act.’
‘Obvs,’ I repeated because it really was just that. Why else would a gorgeous, charming, charismatic, pocket-sized human be in Hollywood?
‘The problem is, no one in LA is hiring anything less than an eleven,’ she said, trailing her fingers through her shiny, silky hair and letting it fall around her high cheekbones. ‘And I might be a Wisconsin ten but that’s only an LA six.’
‘Christ,’ I muttered, raking my tangled, still-damp hair away from my still-tired face. ‘What does that make me?’
‘You’re a beautiful soul and no one could ever put a number on you.’
‘Thank you,’ I said with a smile.
‘But if I had to, I’d say a four.’
‘Thank you,’ I said without a smile.
‘Hey, it’s brutal out here,’ she commiserated brightly. ‘I’m sure you’re solid double digits back at home but think about it. In Los Angeles, you can run into Margot Robbie at the grocery store, Kristen Stewart might be filling up her car at the next gas pump. One time, I saw Emma Stone at my Pilates class and I simply could not concentrate on my roll-ups because I felt like such a troll. In real life, that womanglows.’
‘I was in the queue behind Nadiya fromBake Offin the supermarket a few months ago and all I had in my basket was a bottle of wine and an entire cheesecake marked down to half off because it was almost out of date,’ I said, enduring a full body cringe at the memory. ‘So I think I get it.’
‘I don’t know who that is, but it sounds terrible and I’m so sorry,’ she said, briefly touching my wrist. ‘You know what they say, life is suffering.’
‘The Buddha?’ I replied.
‘No, I think it was Aviva Drescher,’ she said. ‘She’s like the wisest housewife.’
She pulled a tube of gloss out of her bag and stared off into middle distance as she slicked it across her full, pillowy lips. Two men at the next table watched, their tongues hanging out almost all the way into their lunch. I assumed being worshipped wherever you went was something you got used to when you were as gorgeous as she was, they probably hadn’t even registered on her radar. I was constantly aware of every single thing happening around me every single moment and it was exhausting.
‘Do you have a boyfriend?’ Bel asked as one of the men unsubtly rearranged the crotch of his unfortunately baggy, pale grey shorts. ‘Or a girlfriend? A partner?’
I shook my head, shifting my chair until both men were out of my eyeline. ‘None of the above, as single as single can be.’
A fact that didn’t usually bother me, but then again, my ex wasn’t usually getting married in two weeks.
‘Me too!’ She smacked her lips together before she put the gloss away. ‘I love being single. It’s the only way to really get to know yourself, you know? I love dating around, meeting new people. Who wants to settle down? I wouldn’t have it any other way, and oh my gosh, the love of my life is walking right towards us, whatever you do, don’t look.’
I looked immediately.
It was Ren.
