She guides me back to the sofa, handing me the glass of whiskey as we sit back down. As I take a large sip, I can feel everyone watching me. But none of that matters when she’s in my space.
As I reach down to place the glass on the floor next to my feet, Connor hands me the letter, then takes a seat next to me.
With my wife holding on to me, and the strength I gain from my brother’s proximity, I open the envelope and pull out the letter, along with two journals that have pages marked.
Finn,
Hey baby brother.
There are so many things that I want to teach you, so many things that I need to show you, but the universe has decided that I’m out of time.
I can’t explain how I know this, but by the time you read this letter I’m not going to be around to show you those things.
I’ve put together a pack, of some things that will help you. Halliwell has it, he will give you it when he hands everything else over.
You’re good at computers and hacking. You’re a bloody quick study, and with a little hard work you’re gonna be better than I am. So, I know that I’m leaving everything in good hands.
I know you and I both know that you won’t feel comfortable sitting my space at the club, but I also know that you won’t want to change it. But I’m telling you to change it. That space is no longer mine, it’s yours and you should make it yours. A space that you’re comfortable working in.
I know what you went through growing up, what Da believed and how he treat you.
Please don’t for one minute think that I am condoning how he treated you or Ma when you were growing up, but I can tell you that he regretted it. He was just too stubborn and proud to admit he was wrong.
I have included two of Da’s journals in with your letter, the pages that I have marked link specifically to you. Trust me when I tell you that you need to read them. He was sorry Finn, he really was, even if he couldn’t admit it.
I need you to know that no matter what though, you always were and will always be one of us. You have a place, you belong in this family.
I never understood you growing up, you were so polite and respectful of us. But you would never let us in, and you never got too close to us. Now I know why, now I know why you behaved like you did always with Ma or alone.
I hate that you felt like you couldn’t be around us, I hate that Da made you feel that way. We have a lot of making up to do on his behalf, and I’m hoping that one day after you’ve read his journals, you’ll maybe find a way to forgive him.
Find your feet in the Syndicate, get to grips with the security side then you need to find yourself a good woman and settle down. You have so much love and compassion to give you should find someone to share that with.
You are one of us, you always have been, and I’m so goddamned lucky to have called you family. To have called you, my brother.
I’m so proud of you and the man that you have become.
You have an incredible future ahead of you, one that includes your brothers.
I love you baby brother.
Rory.
Cara’s hand grips mine, and I hear her sniff. Glancing at her, I reach up and wipe away the tears running down her face. I give my woman a gentle kiss on her lips, tasting her salty tears, and I’m instantly calm.
Looking at the journals on my lap the I look to my brothers, and shake my head. “I’m not ready to read those, not yet.”
I look to Killian; he gives me a chin lift then stands, casting a quick glance to Ronan, he looks back at me. “Con, Finn, Ro…lets go get some air.”
Without hesitation we all stand and follow him out the back, knowing that he’s giving us all a breather.
I need to get my head around my letter, and what Rory said about Da being sorry, but not able to say it.
And Ronan needs time to decide what his move will be. He needs this breather more than any of us.
The four of us sit on the back porch, a bottle of whiskey between us. No words are spoken, but the silence say’s everything that needs to be said. We’re family, we’re brothers, always.
Chapter 19
