Everyone’s eyes are on me the moment I walk back in the room, but my eyes focus on Seamus, sitting on the floor, his arm wrapped around Niamh. What the fuck. Turning to Connor I see the same look on his face, giving each other a small nod, and silent conversation passes before us. We’ll deal with that later.
I grab the letter off the table then take a seat next to my woman.
Taking a few deep breaths to ready myself, then I rip open the letter and read it out loud for everyone to hear.
Killian,
Before I get into it you should know that Bella’s da is kicking around…Liam has been to see him, to ask for his help to get close to us and use Bell’s to do it. Be warned, from what I understand her Da will ensure she signs her fortune over to him but has told Liam he doesn’t care what happens to her. I’m sorry Bell’s, I really am.
After that meeting, her da went off the grid again, so I have no more information to give you, but Niall has someone trying to track him down, he’ll let us know if they find him.
I am sorry that I kept you in the dark for so long, that I chose not to tell you what I had found until I knew more.
A month or so into digging you asked me what I had come up with, and I told you nothing, I told you that I kept coming up against dead ends…But that wasn’t entirely true. I had so many different snippets of the truths we were seeking, and not all of the information I had I could prove, and I didn’t want to come to you without answers, or at least with only some of them.
Growing up, being the oldest you always had the world on your shoulders. You took it upon yourself to carry our troubles, anything that Connor couldn’t smooth over, you would bear it, and carry it around with you until you could fix it.
You did your best to protect us from Da, and the Syndicate. But we saw it on your face, the pain, the fear, the stress. We saw how tired you became with each passing day.
We know Da tried to tell you that you should lead alone, and he tried to get you to accept that, but you fought so hard against it.
None of us ever knew how hard he tried, nor did anyone of us say anything to you about him trying to distance you from us. But he wrote it down. His journals are full of his thoughts and beliefs, and the conversations he had with people.
You may not have told us, but his journals do. They have told me the things he said to you, the things he made you keep from us, to ‘protect’ us. He believed that being so close to us made you weak, he couldn’t be more wrong brother…being so close, makes you stronger, it makes us stronger.
When he died you were adamant that you didn’t want to lead alone, that you couldn’t do it, but you’re wrong.
You were born to lead, the person you are, isn’t because of what Da taught you to be, it’s because of who you are, of who inherently strive to be.
Despite what you might think, leading does in fact come naturally to you. This Syndicate is yours it’s meant to be yours. As your brothers we’re just your partners, we’re there to support you, to stand beside you when you need it.
We have our own paths to lead, and yes, we are always going to be part of the syndicate, but there will be times that our paths will simply run alongside yours, rather than on the same one as you.
Trust us, and more importantly trust yourself. You can do this; you should do this. It’s time for you to take the lead and let the rest of us take the paths we choose to take.
Oh, and stop messing about big brother. Marry that fucking woman of yours, it’s about time you made her an O’Farrell.
All my love Rory.
I keep my eyes low, I can’t look at Bell’s we’ve been arguing for months about her da being back in her life. I said he was up to something, but she was so sure that he just wanted to be here for her, and now Rory has confirmed what I always believed…I wanted to be wrong, fuck me did I want to be wrong. I hate that I wasn’t and now Bell’s had to hear that from a letter from my brother, and in front of the rest of the family. I need to support her, but the guilt I feel in this moment is crippling, the guilt from being right and the guilt for her hearing it in front of everyone.
I feel her shift, and I think she’s going to walk out of the room, but she doesn’t. She moves closer to me, her hands resting on top of mine, and then, barely a whisper, “I’m sorry”
My head spins to fast I almost give myself whiplash. “What?”
“You were right, and I’m sorry, I’m so sorry babe.”
Cupping her face, I rest my forehead on hers. “No gorgeous, I’m sorry. I never wanted to be right, you have to know that. And I’m sorry that you found out here, now, in front of everyone.”
She opens her mouth to speak but Connor cuts in. “It’s shitty news but she’s in the best place for the truth to come out, surrounded by us, by her family. Because that’s what we are, we’re family.”
“Rory was right though brother, you were born to lead…it comes naturally to you, I know you don’t see it, but we do, and let’s be honest how often am I wrong.” He wiggles his eyebrows and bellows out a laugh as we all roll our eyes at him.
I nod not knowing what else to say. I didn’t want to read that letter, and part of me wishes I hadn’t. But Connor is right about us being family, and doing it here surrounded by everyone gives us the support we’re all going to need to get through this.
Among the papers, the flash drives, and the photographs on the table, are two more letters. We all look down at the table, when Maddie asks the question on everyone’s minds. “So who’s next?”
Chapter 15
