True, Summer was ready to puke, but it wasn’t just that.
I saw disappointment in her expression.Judgement.Summer might even have been hurt by what she saw.Either that, or she didn’t like the look of me in my boxer briefs.
I don’t know what to think.Except for one thing—what I saw in Summer’s eyes indicated a total lack of respect for me.
And that’s sliced me to the core.
CHAPTER 4
Declan
It bothers me so much because Summer’s my best friend, the best friend I’ve ever had.
Even the SEAL buddies I relied on in the face of extreme danger never reached that kind of level of connection.Summer and I hit it off immediately when she showed up at Yosemite Ranch, looking for a job.I was getting ready to leave home and she was still in high school, but in that short time, we found a deep appreciation for each other.
We became joined at the hip.
When I left for the Navy, she wrote to me on the regular, encouraging me through SEAL training.She wrote when I was stationed at Little Creek in Virginia Beach and then when I was deployed.Her letters and emails kept me up to date on happenings at the ranch, far more than anything I got from Dad or Aunt Phyllis, the second wife of Dad’s late brother.
Those notes from Summer always made me laugh.They made me homesick.And the letters kept me company and kept me smiling, the way Summer herself had.
The girl has a superpower—she makes me laugh.Always has.And I don’t think there’s anything better than the feeling of satisfaction I get when I make her laugh in return.It’s doubly satisfying if I say or do something that makes her stop in her tracks, think for a moment, and then howl.
She’s my buddy.
To have her look at me with disappointment was a real kick in the sac.I don’t want her to lose respect for me or feel that I’ve let her down somehow.That would be a burden too heavy for me to carry around.Her friendship is far too important to me.
She’stoo important to me.
Summer and I have a lot of things in common—our love for the ranch, for the MacLaines, for fast horses and faster motorcycles.But like Summer, I usually don’t give a flying fuck what anybody thinks of me.Doesn’t even cross my mind.
With one exception: Summer herself.I care what she thinks of me.A lot.And dammit, that look on her face has left a hollow pit in my gut.If she’s disappointed in me, I’m disappointed in myself.
I take another peek at the women, still talking.
Slanted sunlight hits Summer’s face, adding a glow to her rich, silky brown hair falling down the middle of her back.Her eyes are a stunning deep gray blue, framed by dark brows and lashes.And like always, there’s nothing artificial on her face—no mascara or blush or lipstick.The only thing I’ve ever seen her put on her face is sunscreen and lip balm on those long days working cattle out on the range.
I’ve known a lot of women in my life.And I’ve never met anyone with Summer’s absolute lack of self-consciousness.Here’s the message she broadcasts to the world:I am what I am, and if you don’t like it, move along.No offense taken.I’ve always loved that about her.
But as well as I know her, I don’t have a full picture of her life before she came to Yosemite Ranch, or why she wandered our way at the age of sixteen.She’ll drop a tidbit here and there, but she’s never wanted to talk about it.On those rare occasions when she mentions something about her childhood, she cuts herself off.Like it’s too hard to talk about.
Like she’s afraid I’ll turn away from her if I know the details.
The fact that she had a hard childhood makes her happy and positive enthusiasm for life that much more impressive.
I love that girl.
But I’ve always known she’s off-limits.
Waaaayoff-limits.
Untouchable.
Like beyond-the-atmosphere, past-the-Milky Way-galaxy, off-into-deep-space kind of unreachable.
Summer has permanently locked and loaded me into her friend lane.It’s been an unspoken rule since the beginning.There’s no room for a player like me in that lane, and if I want Summer to remain in my life, which I absolutely do, we keep it friendly.
For one simple reason—Summer isn’t just another girl I date, bang, and say goodbye to with no hard feelings on either side.
