I may not be experienced, but I have a fairly good idea what’s happening right now.Why my cheeks are flushed.Why a rush of lava-hot need just shot through my veins and landed with a throb between my legs.
“Summer…”
Declan’s other hand touches my ankle.
I gasp.
His fingers slide up my shin, around to my calf, and brush the tender skin behind my knee.
A loud knock makes me jump.My leg straightens in a reflex, and I kick Declan in the ribs.
“Ooof.”
“Room service!”
“I’m so sorry!”
CHAPTER 20
Declan
I decide to take a quick shower, leaving Summer at the breakfast table.The last I looked, she was slamming coffee and using her fork to stab at her pancakes with too much enthusiasm.
A hot shower will give me a few seconds to screw my head on straight.To figure out what the fuck I think I’m doing.I step into the shower spray and let the heat and steam clear my foggy brain.
It’s happening.Right now.This morning.All those years of dancing around the issue and overcompensating for the insane connection and attraction… it’s over.We’ve hit the wall.We have no choice but to address the elephant that follows us into every room we occupy and joins us for every day we spend beneath the endless sky of Yosemite Ranch.
It’s time to get real.
I wash my hair and body, then towel myself dry.
I’ve done a lot of crazy shit in my life.I escaped death more than once.I’ve pushed myself all the way to the edge of my maximum capacity only to push myself further still.But that’s because it was expected of me.It was my job.
As a Navy SEAL, I was responsible for every member of my squad, just as they were responsible for me.We never made excuses.We never quit.We never second-guessed our objectives.
I grab a robe from the closet and rake my fingers through my hair.
That life was insanely difficult—physically and mentally—but in some ways it was simple.I always knew the next essential step I needed to take.I always knew what I was fighting for.
Not now.Not when it comes to Summer and me.
I’m experiencing severe turbulence in my head and heart, and I’ve got to land this puppy, ensuring that both Summer and I stay safe and sound.It’s my responsibility.And to do that, I need to stay one or two steps ahead of this plane.Which means I need to know where we’re headed.
And I don’t.
Of course I want Summer.But it’s not just about me.She’s the other half of this equation, and as well as I know her and as much as I love her, her essence has always been a mystery to me.It’s the way she’s wanted it.Her boundaries have been rock solid through the years.The girl likes her “No Trespassing”signs and I’ve respected them.
But not today.I’m not doing that shit anymore.
When else am I going to find myself alone in a hotel suite with Summer?I won’t be able to live with myself if I don’t take advantage of this opportunity.Today is the day I’m completely honest with Summer and insist that she be honest with me in return.
That’sthe only way I can land us safely.And once we’re on the ground, we’ll either continue on together or go our separate ways, but it’s time for us to make that decision.
I return to the table and sit.The stainless entrée cover sits over my plate.I lift it, do a double take, and laugh.
On my stack of pancakes is a skull and crossbones fashioned out of bacon strips and blueberries.I raise my gaze to Summer, not sure what I’ll find.Her eyes sparkle at me as she munches down on a crisp piece of bacon.
“This is one hell of a mixed message, Summer.”
