Except for me.
In my experience, most of those wild rodeo cowboys become my platonic pal before we even finish our first beer.That usually puts an end to any questions about where the date is headed.
The men who aren’t satisfied with being my friend get the Summer Treatment.
Ironically, the Summer Treatment is ice cold.
And those who put their hands all over me because they can’t comprehend the meaning of the word “no”?
Adam’s apple city.
“Oh my gosh!Thereyou are!”Bryttni greets us in the Bellagio.She’s wearing the skimpiest bikini I’ve ever seen.It’s three lunch lady hairnets attached to her body with spiderweb fibers.Doesn’t the woman have any pubic hair?Where did it go?
Her nipples are present and accounted for, however.
“The parties are already starting,” Bryttni pouts and stomps a high-heeled foot on the marble floor.“I’ve been here all alone!Just waiting for you to come back so we can start to have fun!”
“Summer got hit on,” Declan says, his voice raw.
I look over at him.Poor fella.He’s breaking out in a sweat while staring at Bryttni.I bet dollars to donuts that he’s noticed the lack of public hair, too.
“We’re going to be double-dating for dinner,” Declan adds, still staring, his words flat.
“You go, girl!”Bryttni slaps at my arm.I try to smile.“Is he hot?”she asks.“You better tell me he’s hot, ’cause a cutie-patootie like you absolutely should have a hot guy!”
“Very hot,” I tell her.Because it’s the truth.“Volcano hot.He’s an asset manager.”
“Can you say ‘score’?”Bryttni hoots with laughter.She’s unaware that every person in the lobby, regardless of gender, age, creed, or ethnicity, is staring at her flesh.“But you’re going to need a new outfit, Summer.You can’t go anywhere looking like that.”
Look who’s talkin’.
“Told you,” I tell Declan, finding that he’s not listening.He’s hypnotized by the strip of smooth skin between Bryttni’s navel and her missing pubic hair.
“Makeover!”she shouts.
“Huh?”
“When is our reservation, Declan?”Bryttni waits for him to answer.She waves her hands in front of his face.“Deck-laaan!”
He lifts his eyes.“Eight.”
“Good.”She grabs me by the hand.We get about three steps from Declan when Bryttni spins us around again.“Is it okay to use the same card?”she asks him.
He nods.
We’re off again.
“Uh…” I’m trying to find the right way to ask Bryttni this question.“Do you have anything to put on over your… spiderweb?”
“Oh, shoot.I totally forgot.”Bryttni digs into her giant canvas bag and pulls out a cover-up.It’s sparkly and low-cut and see-through, but at least it hits her at mid-thigh and does a decent job of nipple camouflage.
I look down at myself.Bryttni and I must make an odd couple.
It’s weird.I usually spend about three seconds a day worrying about what I look like or who is or isn’t looking at me.But that’s at home.At the ranch, or town, or my cabin, or on the range, or in my pickup truck.These are all places where I’m comfortable and I know my purpose.
But here?I came here to find Evander and Phoebe and I failed.And now it’s like I’m on a reality TV show I never signed up for, one where they take the farmer’s daughter and doll her up for a night on the town.
Bryttni pulls me into some glass and marble temple that I think had the word “salon” on the sign out front.A quick look around makes me sure of it.
