Sacramento is a quick stop, just enough time to use the restroom, eat a hot dog, and buy some snacks before I go back to my saved seat.We’re on the road again by about 4 o’clock.
My heart is so heavy.I stare out the window, watching cities and towns slip by in the fading light.Declan will be home in just a few hours.He’ll read my note and see the annulment paperwork and his heart will break.
I’m so sorry, Declan.
I place a hand on my useless belly and rest my head against the seat, closing my eyes.I have way too many swirling thoughts in my brain.I have one ovary and not enough hormones.And I have absolutely no idea why I’m headed to Lompoc for a chat with good ol’ Steve and Lurlene Stevens.
What a mess I’ve made of everything.
No matter which way I turn, Declan gets hurt.But at least this way, he’ll hurt only for a short while.If I chose to stay with him, the hurt and regrets would be delayed, but they’d grow and grow over the years into a resentment that can never be fixed.
The sun disappears over the horizon of the Pacific Ocean.Though my mind continues to race, and my heart weighs a ton, I eventually manage to fall asleep.When I wake up, the bus is on another incline, and I have to pee like a stallion.
“Only thirty minutes away from Lompoc.”
An older woman sits across the aisle from me, smiling in the muted light inside the coach.“You’ve been sleeping soundly for quite some time,” she says.“I’m glad you got the rest you needed.”
“What?”I scrabble upright and at first I can’t remember where I am.When I find my wits, I check that my backpack remains squarely situated on the floor between my feet.I’ve got all my cash in there.If I lose it, I’ll be completely fucked.
The lady’s still smiling at me.I squint at her.How did she know I needed rest?Or that I’m going to Lompoc?
Oh.My ticket is clipped overhead my seat.I drop my guard and exhale.
“Do you know what time it is?”I ask her, remembering how I threw my phone into the Las Vegas street and watched it get flattened.
“About ten o’clock.”
“Okay.Thanks.”
There are no visiting hours at night, surely.I’ll have to find a place to stay.I have enough cash to keep me going for a few months at most, so I know I’ll have to be careful not to throw it around.
When we arrive in Lompoc, about a dozen passengers are herded off the bus.I watch everyone get their bags and walk away with a destination in mind.I don’t have bags.I don’t know where I am or where I’m going.
“Oh, honey, you look lost,” the older lady says to me.“Do you have a place to stay tonight?”
CHAPTER 59
Declan
Tonight’s the night.The two-week dry spell is officially over.And I’ll be doing everything in my power to remind Summer that she’s all mine.
And I’m all hers.
Since I didn’t find Summer at my place, I check with Special K, who said he saw her drive her truck up the mountain toward her cabin early this morning.He added that he thought she was headed out to the east pastures today to check on a section of fencing that needed repair.
I know she’s been itching to get back to her cabin.So that’s where I go.
I smile when I see her truck parked outside.The porch light is on, but I don’t see any interior lights or smoke coming from the chimney, which is concerning.But I take the first of what I know will be several trips inside.
“Summer?”I drop the box on the couch and check her bedroom.Then her bathroom.She’s not here.
I go back out to the Jeep, telling myself that if her truck is here, that means Joe picked her up and they’re still finishing up for the day.This is a lucky break—it gives me just enough time to set up and make everything perfect for her.
I bring in the food.I stopped in Austin on the way back from Dallas to pick up some more Interstellar BBQ.I remember hearing that there’s this thing in the self-help world about knowing your partner’s “love language”—and I’m pretty sure that Summer’s is Texas brisket and macaroni and cheese.
I head back out to the Jeep and grab the flowers—six dozen red roses.I know her favorite flowers are Yosemite Ranch wild daisies, but those are impossible to come by in early February, so the roses will have to do.
I inhale them as I walk inside.Their scent is so intense that I figure my plane will probably smell like a florist for the foreseeable future.I fill the sink with cool water and set all the stems inside to soak.
