I feel myself being lifted and balanced, then guided to the couch.My coat and boots are removed, and a blanket is pulled up under my chin.
Phoebe lifts my arm from under the blanket and uses her smartwatch to take my pulse.Victoria stokes the fire.Emma brings me a nice little plate of fruit, fancy cheese, and freshly baked sourdough bread.
“So,” Victoria says, picking up where she left off.It’s one of her skills.She sits on the coffee table to interrogate me.“Tell us what you meant by ‘I’ve let him go.’”
This bread is so delicious.I shove another piece in my mouth while they all stare at me.
“I refuse to be a burden to him,” I say with my mouth full.I finally swallow.“He didn’t ask for this and I refuse to force it on him.”
“Declan loves you, sweetie,” Victoria says.“That boy’s a mess.He wants more than anything to be with you.”
“Nope.He doesn’t want this.”I set the plate on the edge of the coffee table.Emma hands me a few tissues and I nod in thanks, then blow my nose.
“How do you know what he wants?”Phoebe asks.“Have you even asked him?”She rests the back of her hand against my forehead.I think the girl’s checking to see if I have a fever.
“I don’t have to ask him.Doesn’t matter anyway, because I won’t put him through this kind ofFault in Our Starsshit.”
“Here’s some peppermint tea,” Emma says, sitting down on my other side.She drapes an arm around my shoulders.
“Are you experiencing any abdominal pain?”Phoebe waits for me to answer.
“Not really.”
“And your head?”
“Still pounding.”
“That’s to be expected.”
“Can we circle back to the core issue, please?”Victoria asks in her killer boss-lady voice.
“Wait a minute,” Emma says.“A person can’t be expected to have a conversation without something nutritious in her stomach.”She moves the box of stale granola out of sight.
“The patient’s wellbeing is always the core issue,” Phoebe adds.
“Anywho,” Victoria says.“Declan is a grown man who doesn’t need protecting.He’s a damn Navy SEAL, Summer.He can make his own decisions about what he can and cannot handle and what he wants, and what he wants more than anything is to be by your side.”
“I won’t be pitied.Not by him.I couldn’t deal with that.”
“Pity?”Phoebe asks.“Sweetie, he doesn’t pity you.He might share in your pain, but that’s not pity.Helovesyou.”
“Doesn’t matter.”
Emma squeezes me tight.“Summer, love is theonlything that matters.”
“Seems we’ve reached a consensus,” Victoria says.“You’ll just have to figure out if you love him.The health shit is a totally separate issue.It’s a challenge, yes, but the only thing you need to do right now is decide if you love him.So, do you love him, or not?”
“Achallenge?I’m fucking dying!”
“You don’t know that with any certainty!”Victoria yells.
“That’s true—you have only a preliminary diagnosis,” Phoebe says.
“See?”Victoria nods to Phoebe before she returns her no-nonsense gaze to me again.“And in the meantime, you’re not dead, Summer.Right this second, you’re very much alive and breathing.And right this second, there’s a man down there who loves you so much that he’s cracking into pieces because you've pushed him away.”
“Do you love him?”Emma asks.
“Are you allnuts?Of course I love him!I’ve loved Declan since the day I showed up here.But I…” I can’t quite remember the rest of my argument.“I just don’t want to hurt him.”
