‘I didn’t always fly by the seat of my pants,’ he said. ‘I used to have…’ He shook his head, like he hated even thinking about it. ‘I had a proper job. An office job. Salary, pension, the whole nine-to-five thing. I also had a little flat not far from here. Nothing fancy, but it was mine.
‘When my grandmother passed away, everything changed.’
Daniel scrubbed a hand over his face. ‘After that… I couldn’t do it anymore. I’d sit at my desk, staring at the screen, and it all felt pointless. Reports, emails, meetings about nothing. Everyone I’d ever loved was gone.’ He let out a shaky breath. ‘It was hard losing my grandmother. We were so close.’
Fern’s chest hurt just listening.
‘I really tried at first to show up and get myself into work. I smiled. Told everyone I was fine. But inside I was just empty. It’s hard to explain really.’ He paused. ‘Eventually I stopped showing up. Lost the flat. Burned through what little savings I had, trying to keep it together, and by the time I lifted my head up again, it was all gone. The job, the normal life, everything.’ Daniel gave a lopsided smile that broke her heart. ‘Somewhere in that mess, I just… made a choice. If everything can be ripped away in a second, what’s the point in chasing stability? What’s the point in worrying about tomorrow? Fly by the seat of your pants. Roll the dice. Live life like every day might be the last. Because sometimes… it is.’
Fern swallowed. ‘Daniel,’ she said, leaning and touching his hand. ‘I’m so sorry.’
‘I know it’s stupid,’ he said. ‘I know it’s reckless and selfish and exhausting sometimes. I know it makes me a shit bet for someone like you. Someone who’s smart and ambitious and actually has a future lined up.’ His voice cracked on the last words. ‘You should take that job, Fern. Go to London. Kick ass. Forget about some guy who makes no money and thinks an antiques shop that doesn’t actually sell any of its antiques is a good way to spend his time.’
‘Don’t say that.’
‘Why? It’s true.’
‘Stop it,’ Fern said sharply, taking his hand. ‘You’re not a shit bet. You made a lot of money this week and you’re one of the best people I’ve ever met.’
Daniel stared at her. ‘But somehow that’s not enough,’ he said in a low voice.
‘You’re kind,’ Fern said, her voice shaking, ‘funny and brave even when you’re scared. You… you didn’t give up. Even when it would have been easier.’
Tears began to slide down Daniel’s cheeks now, and he didn’t wipe them away.
‘You make everything feel alive,’ Fern whispered. ‘That includes me.’
‘I feel like I let my gran down.’
Fern stood up and wrapped her arms around him. ‘You haven’t. She would be really proud of the person you’ve become.’
He buried his face in her shoulder, clutching her like she was the only solid thing left in the world. For a long time, she just held him.
‘This is the first real thing I’ve felt in a long time. I’m not used to connecting with anyone. I’m falling for you, and I just don’t know what to do about that,’ he murmured. ‘And I’m scared.’
‘Me too,’ she admitted. ‘Maybe that’s how we know this is real.’
The old clock on the wall ticked steadily in the background and the laptop screen behind them went dark. Daniel pulled away slowly, and really looked at her. ‘If you stay…’ he said. ‘If you stay, I’ll try. I’ll try to be better. I’ll try to?—’
‘Hey,’ she cut him off. ‘I’m not asking you to be anything but you.’
He gave a shaky nod.
Fern brushed her thumbs across his cheeks, wiping away the tears.
‘I haven’t made any decisions yet,’ she said. ‘But whatever I choose… it’s not just about money. Or a job or London. It’s about what matters,’ she said simply. ‘Andyoumatter.’ She leaned in and kissed him softly. The offer on the shop was tempting, but whatever happened next, she wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Daniel. As she hugged him again, all she could think was: maybe this wasn’t about finding the safest path in life but about finding the people who made the risk worth it. Daniel was worth it.
ChapterThirty-Six
‘We’ve got until Friday to find out who the anonymous buyer is and what they’re after,’ Daniel said, sipping his coffee as he paced the scuffed wooden floor behind the counter. His boots made a dull thud with every step. ‘I think our first stop has to be Alistair Montgomery. Not only did he go to college with them both, he’s Nathaniel Loring’s agent.’
‘What about Dorothy?’
Daniel shook his head. ‘We don’t know if she’ll tip him off that we’re sniffing around. After all, they’re blood.’
Fern nodded, her pulse ticking faster. ‘I think you’re right, but I’ve just remembered this.’ She crouched under the counter and pulled out the vinyl she’d stashed days ago, the Nathaniel Loring record she hadn’t been able to let go of.
‘I had a man try to buy this,’ she said, laying it carefully on the counter between them. ‘But my gut told me not to let it go so I said it wasn’t for sale.’
