‘You’d think so, wouldn’t you? But no, she wouldn’t win any mother of the year awards. She moved off the island as soon as I was able to look after myself.’ His voice faltered. ‘She was barely a mother. If it wasn’t for Betty I don’t know what I’d have done. She’s been a grandmother and mother figure rolled into one for me.’
Verity was silent for a second, thinking of her own situation with her mother. ‘I’m sorry you had to go through everything you’ve been through. It’s difficult, isn’t it? And yet, somehow, here we are, still standing. Coping and carrying on, doing our best. Even though there’s that niggle always in the back of our minds, wondering what we did wrong.’
Sam slightly raised his eyebrows. ‘It sounds like you can relate.’
Verity nodded. ‘I can, you’re not on your own.’ She tucked her feet underneath her on the chair as she swallowed a lump in her throat. ‘Even now I wonder what the hell I did to make my mother treat me the way she does. Why wasn’t I enough? Was it because she was jealous of me, or was it because of my father? If it was, I’d have no idea; she’s always kept his identity a secret from me and my grandparents.’
‘You don’t know anything about him at all?’
Verity shook her head. ‘Growing up I asked but she would never talk about it. I’ve learned to live with it because I know it can consume me if I think about it too much. It can make me sad, sometimes, for days at a time.’
Sam cupped his hand over Verity’s and gave it a squeeze.
‘It’s nice to talk to someone who can relate. I just try to take the positives from the situation. My mother might not have been there for me but my grandparents were the best. In fact, my granny is the reason I’m here.’
Sam smiled. ‘Your granny? And here was me thinking it was because you spotted a handsome man outside a greasy spoon and decided to follow him onto a ferry.’
Verity laughed. ‘I can neither confirm nor deny.’ She knew there was a glint in her eye as she sipped her whisky. ‘EW! How can you drink this stuff?’
‘You get used to it. Tell me about your granny.’
‘When I was growing up she used to tell me stories of this place. I thought it was all make-believe until I discovered a postcard written to her and signed with a W. Apparently the sender couldn’t live without her. I had a mad notion that after all these years I could identify who W is or was and discover more about the time my granny spent here and why.’
‘If there’s one person that will know, it’s Betty.’
‘That’s exactly what Clemmie and Amelia said. But she’s away so I won’t get to meet her. But Clemmie said she would message me when she got back. I had this daft idea in the pub that one of your relatives might have something to do with the W as your last name is Wilson. But after hearing your story…’
‘It would be highly unlikely.’ Sam pointed at the star that was still shining brightly. ‘I know it sounds silly but I pretend that bright star is my grandfather.’
‘It’s not silly at all. I pretend it’s my granny.’
Sam lightly bumped his shoulder against hers. ‘It’s a funny old world, isn’t it?’
They sat in comfortable silence looking up at the star. Verity was glad they shared an understanding, each of them having been let down by their mother and knowing how difficult that could be to reckon with.
Verity took a sideward glance at Sam and smiled. His company was so easy, yet she was surprised at herself for revealing her own family situation. It was a difficult topic for her to talk about, and a conversation she’d never even had with Richard, despite the years they’d been together, because he just wasn’t one for empathy. It was good to finally be able to open up to someone, especially someone who understood exactly how she was feeling.
‘You’re very lucky to have all this and live in such a beautiful place.’
‘I am. There’s something special about Puffin Island.’
‘I quite agree.’ She clinked her glass against his and took a last swig. ‘This should make me sleep for a few hours at least.’
‘What time are you leaving in the morning?’
‘Around three-thirty a.m., as I need to back on the ferry by five a.m.’ She looked at her phone, which was lying on top of her dress. ‘It’s nearly midnight and as much as I want to sit here all night with you, I should try and get a little sleep.’ Reluctantly unwrapping the robe, she got dressed, then shivered.
‘Here, take this.’ Sam handed her an oversize grey sweatshirt. ‘I always have it on hand after a swim.’
‘Thank you,’ Verity replied, slipping it over her head. ‘I’ve had a really good night.’
‘Me too,’ he replied. ‘Let me walk you back.’
Walking in silence, they made their way around the side of the boat and along the jetty. The only sound they could hear was the water breaking on the rocks in the shallows. Their elbows kept brushing against each other and the mere thought of Sam’s touch was sending electricity pulsing through her body.
‘And here you are. I have to say, setting off in a travelling van to explore the world is pretty cool.’
‘I’m not sure she would make it all around the world, but Amsterdam, here we come.’
