‘Everyone has a choice.’
‘Yes, but when you’ve grown up carrying the weight of other people’s expectations and your path has been drummed into you from such an early age… It was never a real option for me to have my own career. It was just expected that I would take over the family business, whether that was my choice or not.’
His voice wavered. His eyes were awash with tears, but he didn’t let them fall.
‘My guess is that my grandfather would have been proud of me no matter what, unlike my father, who measures his love for me by my success and academic qualifications. I did actually finish uni, by the way. I did an online course to secure the credit I needed to graduate early, which is why I didn’t return after that summer.’
‘What do you mean, your father measures his love for you by your success?’
‘My father is a difficult character and has never been a warm person. In fact, I can’t remember even one time he’s told me he loves me. He pushed me to do well at school and from a young age I had tutors, not because I was struggling but because he wanted me to outshine everyone else. My school day didn’t end when everyone’s did. It went on for at least a few more hours. I didn’t have any friends because he wouldn’t let me mix with boys at school. I only had one escape route.’
‘Which was?’
‘I learned to swim. It was the only time I felt free and that I could be me, with no pressure from anyone. I could power through that water, lost in my own thoughts, with not a care in the world. At first, he said it was a waste of time because he didn’t understand why I’d want to swim, but then when I started winning county races and competing in competitions, he got onboard with it. He would post online how proud he was of me, how amazing I was, and yet he would never say it directly to me, would never give me a call or send me a text. His support and praise for me were only ever for the public arena – for everyone elsebutme, really.’
‘Why would he do that?’
‘Simple, keeping up appearances. He wanted the whole world to think we had this great relationship when in reality we barely spoke. We have nothing in common except our bloodline.’
‘That’s very sad,’ said Florrie. She thought about Aunt Ada and how she’d championed Florrie every single day. She would have supported her no matter what she did. ‘“Surround yourself with people who fight for you in rooms you’re not in,” Aunt Ada always said to me.’
‘Aunt Ada was a wise woman.’
‘She was and I’m lucky to have had her. And if your relationship is so fractious, why do you do what your father tells you to do?’
‘Because what would I have, if I didn’t?’
‘Self-worth,’ came Florrie’s instant reply. ‘Happiness, a career you actually want…’
‘You make it sound so easy.’
‘It is. The only person you have to rely on in this world is yourself. I was one of the lucky ones, in that I also had a family around me who would support me no matter what. They did fight for me in rooms I wasn’t in. Every single time.’
‘You’re the lucky one.’
‘And your mother?’
Tom was silent for a moment.
‘I’m sorry, I don’t mean to pry.’
‘You’re not. She passed away when I was very small. It’s just been me and my dad.’
‘I’m sorry to hear that.’
‘I know it’s hard to believe but I don’t want what he has.’
‘Which is what?’ she asked.
‘A lonely life with no friends, and colleagues and workers who don’t respect you and avoid you at all costs. And it’s all his own doing. He craves money, it’s like an addiction, and he forgets about the people he hurts to get what he wants.’
‘I can’t argue with that.’
The Tom that was sitting opposite her showed an endearing vulnerability and seemed to be the down-to-earth, genuine person she remembered – but now she could see the demons he’d been dealing with behind the scenes, and it gave her new insight into the man he’d become. Florrie understood that families could be difficult, but thankfully all she’d ever experienced was love.
For a moment he seemed lost in thought as he finished his drink. When he put the glass on the table, he looked at Florrie. ‘See? We can get along without trying to rip each other apart.’
Florrie was still staring into his eyes, her gaze unfaltering. He took her hand and she felt her heart beginning to race. She wasn’t going to let herself fall for his charms a second time but she didn’t pull away either. ‘All I wanted was for you to be genuine and honest with me.’
