‘For what it’s worth, I didn’t like you hearing it either.’
It wasn’t long before they were standing at the door of Libby’s lodge. ‘Do you want to come in?’ she asked.
‘If it’s okay with you.’
Unlocking the door and opening it wide, Guy stepped inside. ‘How’s the wrist feeling?’
‘Just a little sore but I’m sure it’s nothing worse than a bruise.’ She gestured to Guy to sit down. The atmosphere felt very different from when she’d woken up in the early hours of the morning wrapped in his arms. ‘I’ll put the kettle on.’
Soon they were sitting next to each on the settee.
‘I honestly don’t know what to say because I really don’t know where to start.’ She paused. ‘Last night you opened up to me and I didn’t mean to keep my stuff from you.’
‘And your stuff is?’ he prompted.
‘As Flynn mentioned, I’ve been offered my dream job in New York with the chance for my designs to be walking down the Fashion Week catwalk. It’s what I’ve worked towards for the past ten years and now … the thing is … I’m confused.’
‘About?’
‘Going,’ she replied. She paused, finding this difficult to talk about but knowing she owed Guy the truth. ‘It’s my turn to be honest with you.’ She looked Guy straight in the eyes. ‘Many years ago I was engaged and planning my dream wedding. I thought my life was mapped out, just like you did, and then also like you, things changed for me. The wedding was off and the man who I thought was my soulmate left me and made me feel I was worthless as a woman.’ Libby heard her voice crack. ‘I threw myself into my business as I picked up the pieces and I vowed never to let anyone else hurt me like that ever again. My business went from strength to strength; my designs were being worn by celebrities and new commissions were coming in thick and fast. I applied for the job in New York knowing there would be a mass of applicants and I can’t describe the feeling when I was first invited for an interview and then, a couple of weeks later, received the job offer. It was one of the best moments in my life. It came with an apartment for a year. And finally I was going to see humans every day rather than be locked up in my spare room alone. Don’t get me wrong, the safety of my home has helped me heal, helped me to build up the strength to believe in myself and know my own worth as a woman, but it came at a cost and I was thrilled to think I’d soon be surrounded by people once again.’
Guy reached across and took her hand. ‘You’re a beautiful woman and a gorgeous human being and don’t ever let anyone tell you different.’ He hesitated. ‘Was it infidelity?’
Libby shook her head. ‘Not to my knowledge. Anyway, Flynn’s wedding planner let him down, and I agreed to come to Heartcross, plan the wedding for him and spend Christmas with my family before I jetted off to my brand-new life. I was looking forward to it all but something has changed. That’s the reason I had breakfast with Isla: I wanted to talk over how I was feeling.’
‘And how are you feeling?’ Guy asked tentatively.
‘Confused, scared, unsure if I’m doing the right thing. I’m going to be miles from my family. My dad is back from his cruise on Christmas Eve and, like I said to Isla, he’s not getting any younger. Do I really want to be that far from everyone I love so much? I don’t know.’
‘But you said it was your dream job?’
‘I know but since arriving here I’ve felt so settled, in a way I never expected. I have my family close by and I’ve stumbled across you.’ There, she’d said it now. ‘I know this is early days but it’s been a long time since I’ve felt these kinds of feelings. I like spending time with you and Holly. When she said I could be her best friend, all I kept thinking about was the fact that I’d be leaving soon and I might let her down. I wouldn’t want to upset anyone.’
‘Holly would understand. And just because you move to the other side of the world it doesn’t mean she can’t speak to you.’ Guy sipped his tea. ‘I admit I was shocked when Flynn said the words “New York”, and rather annoyed, if I’m honest with you. I admitted to you that it feels like people leave me—and here we are about to go again. I didn’t think I’d have these feelings again either, but it’s just so easy and enjoyable being around you. Your offer to come to the wedding with me was the nicest thing anyone has offered to do for me in a long time. I know I need to put Holly first…’
‘But you have to look after you, too. Your mental health is important as you have to be able to function to be the best version of yourself and get through this difficult time. If attending the wedding is going to set you back then don’t do it. You know what you can deal with and what you can’t.’
‘You’re the first person who has understood this. Thank you.’
Guy opened his arms and Libby hugged him tight. ‘I didn’t mean to keep anything from you,’ she murmured. ‘I just don’t know what to do.’
‘You have to follow your heart. I know I’m feeling what I’m feeling, but I’d never stop you going after your dream. You’ve worked so hard for your career. There will be a way for everything to work out.’
‘Your kindness is overwhelming.’ Libby swallowed. It was time. She needed to share the reason why her last relationship had ended. ‘And I could never stop you going for your dream too and that’s why—even though I think you’ve got the same feelings as me, that this could be the start of something new—it just can’t be. You will always need more than I can give you.’
Guy pulled away slowly. ‘What do you mean? I don’t understand.’
Libby swallowed a lump. She knew her emotions would wash over her any second, even as she tried her best to keep her composure. ‘Your situation is tough and you’re always going to be reminded of it because there’s never going to be any getting away from it, but I think once you meet someone and you have them by your side, championing you, it will get easier.’
‘But you don’t think you’re that person?’
‘You made it clear that in the future you wanted as many children as possible, a football team, in fact—’
‘I may have run away with myself a little bit there,’ he interrupted.
‘But if that’s what you want then you should have the chance to meet someone that can give you that. I can’t. Guy, the reason I have chosen to be on my own since my fiancé left me was because of the reason he left me. It has taken a long time to come to terms with the fact…’ She hesitated and Guy placed a supportive hand on her knee.
‘He left because I went through early menopause. Guy, I can’t have children,’ she said, laying all of her cards on the table.
