I appreciate that the nurse doesn’t seem to be dragging her ass, but she continues talking as we walk, and I can’t fucking pay attention to a single word of it. Not with my mind racing through all the terrifying possibilities of what could be happening right now.
We go through another door that requires her badge to enter, and a few doors down, she stops, knocking before cracking it open. “I have a visitor.” She widens it, and I get my first look at Mariah since learning Tobias brought her here. She’s laying across an examination table, shirt shoved up, the curve of her belly on full display. The room is dimly lit, but I can still see how pale she is. How scared she looks.
“Thank God.” Tobias looks just as scared as Mariah does. “You took long enough.” He stands from the chair situated right next to Mariah, releasing her hand and getting out of my way. “This is above my pay grade.”
The woman with the wand pressed to Mariah’s belly gives me a smile. “You’re just in time, Dad.”
Dad. I should correct her, but I don’t. Instead I sit down in the chair Tobias vacated, gripping Mariah’s hand and bringing it to my lips. Pushing the hair off her face, I ask, “Are you okay?”
“I think so.” Her eyes dart to the screen now displaying moving blobs I can’t identify. “They're double checking to make sure everything looks all right before they let me go.”
My own eyes fuse to the glowing shapes and shifting shadows. “Are they worried something’s wrong with the baby?” My hand tightens on hers, but I don’t know if I’m providing support or seeking it.
“We just like to double check when mamas come in. Give everybody a good once over.” The nurse who brought me turns to Tobias. “Are you staying, or do you want me to take you back to the waiting area?”
Tobias must decide to go, because when the door closes and the room quiets, it’s just Mariah, me, and the ultrasound tech. All of us staring at the screen now displaying the cutest little face I’ve ever seen.
“Holy shit.” I never made it this far when Kara was pregnant. Never had the opportunity to see the child we created. And witnessing the new life growing in Mariah’s belly steals my breath. It’s not a perfect rendering, but I can identify eyes and a nose and a tiny pointed chin. Little hands and ears.
Mariah sniffs, the sound dragging my focus to her face. A tear runs down her cheek and I wipe it away, leaning in to press a kiss to her forehead.
She gives me a watery smile. “Peanut looks perfect.”
“Not surprising considering who Peanut’s mother is.” I lift my eyes, wanting another peek at the tiny human who’s going to change my whole life. I barely get a glimpse before everything shifts away.
“Huh.” The ultrasound tech moves the wand around Mariah’s stomach, pressing a little harder into her skin. “Where are you?”
I almost laugh, because I can’t imagine a baby would be super hard to find in such an enclosed space, but then that cute little face pops back onto the screen, and all I can think about is how fucking in love I am.
“And there is baby B.”
I blink, brain taking a second to register what the ultrasound tech just said. “Baby B?”
“Correct. Baby B is sitting behind baby A right now, so itwasn’t easy to get a good look at their little face.” She smiles at me, oblivious to the bomb she’s just dropped. “But I managed to get it from the other side.”
Baby B is behind baby A. Two babies. Twins.
My eyes are wide when they meet Mariah’s, but the shock is quickly wearing off. Replaced by something else.
Something I’m not going to admit to her right now. Because she looks absolutely terrified.
“Do you want to know the sex of the babies?” The tech squints at the screen, continuing to move around. “I can try to get a look, but I’m not sure if baby B is going to cooperate.” She gives us a wink. “That one’s going to be a problem child.”
Mariah shakes her head. “No. It’s okay. Thanks for offering, though.”
I’m a little surprised. The last time we discussed it, Mariah seemed like she intended to find out. I get it. It makes life easier. Plans can be made. Rooms can be painted. Names can be picked.
But there’s a certain magic about not knowing. An amount of excitement that builds to the ultimate reveal.
It’s what I wanted when Kara was pregnant, and I won’t deny it’s what I want now.
“You’ll still have your regular ultrasound in a week or two where they’ll measure everything and do a full workup.” The tech wipes away the clear gel coating Mariah’s belly. “So if you change your mind, they might be able to get a better look then.” She pulls away the paper protecting Mariah’s pants, chucking it into the trash along with her gloves before tearing a strip of paper off the machine and holding it out for me. “I’ll give these to you, Dad, so you can hang onto them.”
I take the black-and-white printed sheet, looking down at the two little faces staring back at me. “Thank you.” It’s hard to get the words out around the tightness in my throat. The emotion clogging every breath. The rope of love and fear twisting along my windpipe and knotting around my heart.
“Let me go see where they want you next. I’ll be right back.” The ultrasound tech leaves the room, and Mariah and I are alone.
She’s perched on the edge of the exam table, her legs dangling over the side, expression uncertain as it reaches me. “I’m sorry she kept calling you the babies’ dad.”
