Mariah,
I’m sorry.
Titus
With a sigh, I march over to the kitchen camera and pull off the masking tape I used to block it. I give the lens a stern look, holding up a single finger as I say, “You get one.”
DINNER TRAY PEN PALS
Titus,
Did your mother hire me to punish you?
Also, why were you spying on me at Walker’s?
Mariah
Mariah,
I wasn’t spying on you. I was spying on him.
And no, I don’t think she hired you to punish me. If she did, thejoke’s on her.
Titus
Titus,
Interesting… Do you think it was to punish me? Because I’m starting to get a little bit of cabin fever wandering around all alone every day.
Maybe I should bake another of your brothers a cake. What flavors does Tucker like? I’ve heard he’s super friendly.
Mariah
Mariah,
Tucker hates cake. And visitors. Whoever told you he’s friendly is a liar. Stay far, far away from him. He’s a nightmare.
I’m sorry you have cabin fever. Would more pots and pans help? Maybe all the tools to start a new hobby?
What about a pony? I can make a pony happen in about two seconds.
Titus
Titus,
No more pots and pans. There’s nowhere to put them. Also no need to find me a hobby. I’m not bored (there’s still plenty to clean down here, you filthy animal). It’s the lack of human interaction that’s getting to me. My last job was at a busy inn and there were tons of people around. I guess I got used to always having someone to talk to.
Also, can you seriously get me a pony?
Mariah
Mariah,
That sounds awful. Like my worst nightmare. Please don’t try to turn my house into an inn. I’d be forced to take drastic measures. Like releasing the spikes surrounding the property line.
Would it help if we actually spoke? I could call you. I’m not opposed to all forms of contact, even if it seems that way. Being face-to-face with people is difficult for me, but I’m relatively capable of being a tolerable conversationalist.
And yes, I can seriously get you a pony. Just say the word and you can be petting her in the morning.
