Abandoning the food for a second, I dig through Titus’s cabinets, looking for his kettle. I was able to fit everything in his gigantic pantry last night, so I haven’t looked through much of the kitchen storage, and I’m starting to realize I’ve got another issue.
“No kettle? How in the hell does he make tea?” Considering I haven’t come across a single teabag, I’m guessing he doesn’t. “Okay.” I drag the word out as I switch tactics and try to hunt down a mug.
Again, I come up empty.
When I found plates and silverware yesterday while making his dinner, I assumed he at least had the basics. I’d come across a skillet in the dishwasher when I was making room to work, and used that to press his sandwich since it was handy. But now I’m a little concerned that might be the entirety of Titus’s cookware.
I’ve just started digging through the cabinets, pulling out every pot and pan I find, when there’s yet another ring of the doorbell.
“How is this place so busy? It’s in the middle of freaking nowhere.” I abandon my task and go to the door, hoping it’s not yet another grocery delivery. All the food in the world won’t do me any good if I don’t have anything to make it with.
Thankfully, it’s finally the face I’ve been expecting to see. Deidre smiles at me, her expression tight. “How is everything? Good?”
“Umm…” I don’t really know how to answer that. “Yeah. Just getting the lay of the land.” I step out of her way, letting her come in. It’s her son’s house after all. “How are you this morning?”
“Excited to finally have you here.” She closes the door, giving Titus’s shoes the same stink eye I’ve been bestowing upon them as she passes. “I came to see if there is anything you need.” Her eyes skate around the kitchen, narrowing in what almost looks like suspicion. “I’m sure my son doesn’t have the most well-equipped space for you to work in.”
Last night I would have agreed with her. This morning I might still agree with her, just not as enthusiastically. The guy just bought me everything I wanted without being asked, so I don’t want to cause any shit between him and his mother. Especially since I’m hoping to get Titus on my side in case Deidre is pissed I didn’t mention the peanut gallery currently occupying my uterus when she hired me.
“It’s actually working out just fine.”
I definitely don’t have everything I need, but I can manage with what’s here.
For now.
However, as soon as Titus comes out of his rooms, we are having a talk. Not about peanut just yet—I need at least a little time to show him all the reasons he should keep me around—but he and I need to lay down some ground rules.
Like how he’s going to have to stop kicking his shoes off at the door and pretending they no longer exist.
“That makes me so happy to hear.” Deidre grabs me, squeezing me in a tight hug. “You are such a trooper.”
I know she means it as a compliment, but it pokes the tiny sore spot I’ve been favoring my whole life. I’m used to being disappointed. I’ve learned how to power through when things don’t go the way I imagine they will. I know I shouldn’t keep letting myself expect the best, but it’s hard.
And scary.
What would life be like if I didn’t have things to look forwardto? If I didn’t have hope? If I didn’t think happiness was right around the corner?
Fucking dismal, that’s what.
But I’m learning to temper my expectations. Figuring out how to be realistic. Mostly.
“It looks like you’re getting all set.” Deidre’s eyes scan the groceries still set along the counters. “Do you need anything else?”
Yes, but I’m not telling her that. I’ll save that for her son.
“I think I’m good.” I motion to the box of tea waiting on the counter. “Would you like something to drink? I was just getting ready to brew myself a cup of something warm.”
No clue how I’m going to make it happen, but I’ll figure it out. I always do.
“Oh no. I’m fine, sweetheart.” Deidre gives me a grin. “Off to go torment the rest of my sons.”
I watch her go, confused that she’s going to torment her other sons, but didn’t bug Titus while she was here.
Is that because I’m here to torment him?
My eyes lift as if I can see the man one floor above me through the ceiling, a pit forming in my stomach. Is the reason Titus hasn’t come out to meet me because he’s not thrilled I’m here?
It’s possible, but why would he order me all this food if he didn’t want me here? Unless it was Deidre who found my note and placed the order. But wouldn’t she have mentioned it while she was here?
