He closed his eyes and looked away before taking a long sip from his glass.
“You are right… and wrong…” He paused, unable to stifle his chuckle. “But I would have assigned Kaede to protect you permanently until you wanted to reestablish contact with me again. Then I would have tried to convince you to live on the estate I built for you.” A sad smile crossed his lips. “We are connected in ways others won’t be able to imagine… and there is nothing that could stop that. I only want the best for you.”
I wanted to trust his words and go back to the way it was between us when we met in the dreamscape. Our time together there had felt natural and carefree—but his actions had caused strife between us.
I was sick of fighting, but I also needed to get everything off my chest. He needed to know how much he hurt me.
“Don’t you see? How can I trust you? If I don’t want to do something, are you going to force me? The Yarrkins just took, took, and took— no matter how much we didn’t want it.” My voice cracked as tears started to fall. “Some women accepted their fate and learned to love it, others like me tolerated it because if we didn’t, it would be the end of us. You are in the same position of power—but it’s worse because you betrayed me.”
Zirene pulled me onto his lap, my body pressed against his as he wrapped his arms around me. I felt dwarfed by his stature as he caged me. His fur was soft against my skin as warmth radiated from him. His paw-like hand lightly pulledmy hair off my marked neck. I winced from the slight rawness. A purr resonated from his chest and its rumble vibrated against my back.
“I just want things to be how they were between us, but now, it is more than just us.”
“Selena… this wasn’t how things were supposed to be.” He sighed. “I don’t regret you being my Nova, but I know others won’t agree with us being together. A few have already voiced such opinions and will probably try to use it against both of us. Knowing this and the resistance I’ve already experienced, I wanted you to know me for who I am, not my position or power. I didn’t want the Yaarkins finding out somehow. I wanted us to be on an even footing—to be equals when we were together. I felt like I could be myself with you without having to put up the front as I do with others.”
I wiped the tears from my eyes. “That makes sense, but I am still upset about how everything unfolded.”
“Selena, I know it will take time to forgive me. I promise I will make it up to you.” He took in a deep breath before letting it out, tickling my neck. “Aldawi females tend to community-raise their cubs after the first month. They leave their mother at around six months to learn how to hunt with mentors, along with others their age. By three years old, they are sent to an academy during the day until they graduate at twenty-five years old.” He gently squeezed his arms around me. “I won’t have you around female Aldawi, not at this point in time, but I have hired a full crew for your clan’s land. You will have guards, a full kitchen staff, housekeepers, along with caretakers and mentors for all of our children—current and future. There will also be medical staff on-site with their own infirmary.”
“Why?” I choked, stunned by this knowledge.
“As you said, I impregnated you without your knowledge. I want to make raising our children as easy as possible, so ifyou want to do something, like studying a subject, having a career, or exploring the stars. I forced you to be a mother before you were ready, and I want to make sure you have the freedom of the stars to do whatever you want.”
Words failed me. He was giving me the freedom to do whatever I want yet continue to be a mother. I would never feel lost with all the help he hired. Raising children, not even of my own species, was something I feared. I didn’t want them to have a handicap by not giving them the knowledge they needed to be on the same level as other Aldawi children their age. When our cubs—and any children Odelm and Xylo may sire—were in the academy, I would have that time to do what I wanted without feeling guilty. Education was an important factor for all three species. I just needed to make sure we spent time at night together as a family.
He lapped at my mark, slowly at first, and when I didn’t object, continued at a quicker speed, his tongue wet and slightly rough as it brushed against my skin. I closed my eyes and focused on the sensations flooding me, feeling the pain gradually leave me.
“What happened after you marked me?” I whispered.
Zirene halted his licking. I could feel his hot, deep breaths against my wet skin, tickling me.
“You submitted to me. That is the greatest honor to give a male Aldawi—a female’s submission. In my struggle to not throw you on the floor and take you in front of everyone, I entered a focused trance and lost track of time. It is almost instinctive—primal. It’s an Aldawi tradition and happens whenever a female submits to a male, more so since I am a royal. My dominant aura thrived from your display, and in my dazed state, I lost control of it. It took Royak to fight me with his own aura and your nestmates using their appendages to make me release your collapsed, unconscious form,” hestrained. His deep raspy voice, combined with his purrs, rolled through my body.
“How long was I out?” I murmured as I tried to comprehend what he told me.
“Five days,” he choked. “Your nestmates and I were frantic. I thought they would attack me, but their attention was on you and taking care of our cubs. Odelm washed your body with a cloth as Xylo inspected you. Xylo gave you boosters and monitored your vitals until you became stable. My doctor and your medical team took the time to upgrade your communicator, inserting your ID and credit chip. They sit behind your left ear.” I shot my hand up to feel the spot. “The triangle base that houses them hugs your skin and is almost unnoticeable. It can’t be removed unless you undergo intensive surgery.” I traced the triangle shape against my skull. “Between the three of us and my brother, we took turns taking care of you and the cubs. Sadly, your body stopped producing breast milk while you were sleeping, using all of its resources in healing you. We supplemented the cubs with the enhanced fish oil your nestmates brought until my doctor could produce a liquid meal replacement. I stood vigil while your nestmates and our cubs slept, refusing to sleep myself until you woke.”
“Five days?”
“Yes. I never want to experience that again.”
I looked down at my chest and noticed my breasts seemed slightly smaller than I last remembered. Sadness filled me at the loss of being able to provide for my cubs—even though it was out of my hands.
“Our cubs still need you, Selena. I refuse to let you believe that you are inadequate because you aren’t the same species—or because of the consequences of my actions. You produced three healthy cubs with no major difficulty. Things happened for a reason. Don’t let this minor mishap and the stress fromthe situation ruin anything else. Our cubs are being fully taken care of and will thrive on their own.”
I leaned into him, feeling his chest rise and fall as he breathed onto my shoulder. I felt disoriented with both this knowledge and the loss of days. While I was glad Odelm, Xylo, and Zirene were getting along and took care of the cubs while I was out of it, hearing about this side of Zirene I never knew about concerned me.
“Zirene. What would happen if I triggered your dominant instincts again?”
“Somehow, you and your nestmates are as resistant to it as Royak. I hope it doesn’t happen again. If it does, you would have to shake me out of it.”
I laid against him in silence, absorbing the warmth radiating from his body and enjoying the pleasantness that fell on us. Keeping my eyes closed, I focused on his breathing, allowing it to calm me as we enjoyed a moment of silence alone together.
“Selena?”Xylo’s deep mental voice asked, his mental voice slightly panicked.
“Yes, Xylo?”I jerked from the urgency. “What is it?”
“Our cubs woke up hungry. Odelm and I were surprised you weren’t between us.”
